Willie and Jellybean's DNA Results

This past weekend I got two very exciting emails--our dogs' DNA results came in! A few weeks ago I DNA tested everyone in the house, as you can see from the kits in the photos above. Grace and I did the 23andMe human DNA ancestry kits, and I got the Wisdom Panel kits for the dogs. 

I'd originally planned to do a blog post about all of our DNA results once everything came back, but I'm too impatient to wait for ours! Full disclosure, we got the 23andMe kits as a free gift for attending an event; I probably would not have paid any money to find out that we're both European (which I'm sure is what our results will say). However, I would and did gladly spent too much money on finding out about the dogs' breeds, and the results were really interesting. I decided to just go ahead and post the dogs' results because it's going to be another month or so until our 23andMe results come in. I'll probably update on Insta stories but don't think it's worth a blog post for the scintillating and never before predicted information that Grace's and my ancestors migrated from the British Isles, ha!

Okay so here's a little bit about my process of choosing the kit. There are TONS of dog DNA kits out there, and not all are created equal (apparently). I have no affiliation with Wisdom Panel but I'm going to describe why I chose to buy it and my experience in case anyone out there is trying to decide which test to get. I based my decision to buy the Wisdom Panel off reading consumer reports online and Amazon reviews. I have heard that with some DNA tests you have to send a picture of your dog or a description, which seems suspicious. We did not do that with Wisdom Panel; all they ask is for the cheek swab samples (which you mail back in a pre-paid box) and your dog's name and approximate age. So they have no way of determining the dog's breed based on a photo or description. Also, a big factor in choosing Wisdom Panel was reading about the consumer report tests where multiple samples from the same dog were sent in, using different names and contact information, and the results came back identical, down to every percentage. In other words, they're not just randomly assigning breeds; there has to be a method to the madness because samples from the same dog came back consistent (if that makes sense). Finally, I was further reassured that I'd chosen the best test when our veterinarian--who I trust with my dogs' lives--said that Wisdom Panel is the best test out there, and it's the one they recommend and use for their own pets.

BUT: all of that being said, I'm a little skeptical of our dogs' results. I don't think that Wisdom Panel makes up any results or is bogus, but I think the level of technology and science they're using might be a little bit basic or less advanced than say, the 23andMe analysis for humans. Which is fair; they're dogs. Anyway, here's the actual part you're probably interested in: what kinds of dogs Willie and Jellybean are.

Willie Nelson

Willie's results were the most surprising to me. They said that he is a 100% purebred American Staffordshire Terrier. This is very surprising to me because I have never seen a dog in my life that looks quite like Willie! I mean, those ears! He's just not what I picture with an American Staffordshire--his snout is longer and darker at the tip, and his ears are WILD. Everyone comments on how pointy and huge they are. They stand up all the time; they are rigid and not floppy at all. For reference, here's a google images photo of an American Staffordshire:

Sure, I can see that Willie is related to this type of dog, but 100% purebred? I find it hard to believe. However, they sent us extensive results and said that he passed on a "purebred" test on every level. They even sent us a certificate of authentication. I feel like if a DNA test was going to make something up, they would make up a random mutt combination, not that a dog is 100% purebred. That said, Willie just does NOT fit the physical characteristics. I'm still puzzling over it! Here are some screenshots of our results for Willie:

These are all of the tests they do to determine if a dog is a "purebred." According to the website, they run each of these tests independently, and if even one is a "fail," they the dog is not purebred. Willie passed all of them.

They also give you some info about sensitivity to medicines (thankfully, both of our dogs came back normal), and weight range. Willie is right in the middle at 61 pounds.

So there you have it. I still think Willie is not a purebred dog of any kind, but on another note, the concept of "purebred" dogs is a weird one and not something I'm really interested in promoting. Dog breeds were invented by humans, mostly in the past 200 years. There are some "ancient" breeds (like Chihuahuas and some Mastiffs, for example), but beyond that, most dog breeds have become what they are today relatively recently. So therefore, the concept of a breed being "pure" is based on standards set by people not nature--and SO much research shows that purebred dogs can have a lot of health problems due to being inbred (not always, but it's important to be aware that purebreeds are not inherently better/healthier than mixed breeds--often the opposite is true). Just putting that out there. I'm often surprised how many misconceptions are out there about dog breeds. 

Onto the next one!

Jellybean

Before the test results came in, Grace and I were joking that Jellybean's results would come back as part rabbit or chicken or other little creature (obviously they don't test for those). He's just such a funny little bunny rabbit of a dog! His results were also kind of surprising, but he is in no way a purebred dog. According to Wisdom Panel, Jellybean is 50% Chihuahua (not surprising), and has one great-grandparent who was a Pomeranian, another great-grandparent who was a Pekingese, and the other quarter of his ancestry is a general mixed terrier breed. For reference, here are some google images photos of the three specific breeds he's mixed with:

Chihuahua

Pekingese

Pomeranian

Weird, right? Jellybean has shorter hair than pretty much all of these dogs, and is most similar to a Chihuahua. But, according to the test, a quarter of his DNA is from a Pekingese/Pomeranian combo. The other quarter was just a general terrier mix, which was mixed beyond several generations (meaning that mixed breeds had puppies with other mixed breeds for several generations, making it too difficult to determine DNA beyond general terrier mix). The vet's thinking is that Jellybean has some type of pit bull mix in him, which I've had people stop me on the street and say as well--that he looks like a teacup pit bull (Grace made a joke about this once but I've literally had strangers say this to me, so funny!). So that "terrier mix" could be pit bull terrier--obviously of the pocket or miniature variety. I think there could be some Jack Russell terrier in there too. But, the DNA is too jumbled to know for sure. Here's some more specifics of Jellybean's results:

What's probably the most surprising about Jellbean's results? That there's 0% Dachshund. I think that's one of the most common breeds people guessed when looking at Jellybean, so it will probably be surprising that he is not a Dachshund at all! I think his long body comes from being part Pekingese, which is also a long dog. Also, I think Jellybean's weight profile is telling, because he's not yet a year old and he's already a bit over 11 pounds. To me, this suggests that the 25% generic "terrier" mix includes something larger, and helps explain why our vet thinks (based on his physical exam of Jellybean's legs, especially), that Jellybean has some type of pit bull mix in his ancestry. He's a unique guy. I kind of love that I've never really seen a dog that looked quite like either of our boys--there's no one else quite like them! That said, both of them must have siblings somewhere out there. It would be so cool to run into a twin of either of them some day.

If you are considering a DNA test for your dog, I highly recommend it! It's very interesting and felt like Christmas morning to get the emails in my inbox. But no matter what the results would have been, of course it wouldn't change how I feel about the pups. It's just for fun!

March Goals + February Recap

Hello March! Ahh, the start of spring (in a couple more weeks). I'm a spring and summer girl through and through . . . the way the Internet seems to feel about pumpkin spice lattes, fall foliage, and chunky knit sweaters is how I feel about tulips, Easter, springtime weather, and being able to wear summer clothes (just kidding I live in LA so I can wear them all the time). Spring just lifts my spirits and makes me feel so HAPPY! I've always had a touch (and sometimes, more than a touch) of SAD, and so when it's springtime I get a burst of euphoria along with the longer days and more pleasant temperatures.

March also marks only 5 months until our wedding. I cannot believe it! I'm really proud of all that we've accomplished so far with planning, and I am so excited for everything that will come together this month!

I got a lot done in February, but honestly, it was a rough month for our little home! Grace and I have been sick for over two weeks. I keep thinking I'm better, but I'm STILL sniffling and coughing. It was really a brutal illness--I missed almost a week of work, something I've never done in my life for being sick. Even one of our dogs is sick (unrelatedly). I felt like I was really good about blogging during the first half of the month, but I kind of fell off the map once we were both under the weather. 

I'm very excited for what I hope will be a healthier month. I'm also excited about the fact that we have zero travel planned this month! That will not be the case in April, which is exciting, but a month at home sounds sooo nice.

Here's how I did on my February goals:

• Book our florist--yes! She's so cool. Check her out.
• Plan and book my bachelorette weekend--so I decided to have two, one on the East Coast and one on the West Coast, because my life is very bi-coastal.  I booked the East Coast one and am still figuring out the West Coast one (less worried about that because it's going to be relatively local)
• Decide on having a hometown bridal shower in Raleigh--yes. To keep things simple, I decided not to do a hometown bridal shower before the wedding. Grace and I might do some kind of hometown party in North Carolina in the fall, after we're married, so that we can celebrate with our grandparents who can't travel to California
• Book shuttle/wedding transportation--tabled until my mom can visit the venue and get a sense for our needs on this front
• Paint my nails or get a mani-pedi if I have time--didn't have time to treat myself to an actual mani pedi (sniffling and blowing my nose mid-manicure probably wouldn't be the best look), but I did paint them myself :)
• Make an appointment with a dog behaviorist to get on a good path with Willie and Bean (as rescues often do, both of them have a few quirks that we want to assess with a professional)--no, but I still really want to do this. We've had a really good month with the dogs and they've both been so sweet and great, so I kind of forgot about this goal, but it's still important and I hope it will happen in March

And here are my goals for March:

• Do my taxes for the first time ever (yep, I've always had my dad do these. But I figure I should probably do them myself at least once as a single filer before I start jointly filing with Grace)
• Decide on our wedding cake
• Book our honeymoon (!!!)
• Make a plan for our premarital counseling with our officiant
• Design and order our invitations
• Plan my mom's visit (in April) and prepare the house
• Make an appointment with a dog behaviorist (carried over from last month)

And there are a few other little goals in my journal that I'm keeping private because they involve surprises :) My favorite!

I hope your month is off to a great start!

101 in 1001

Hi friends! Let me start by saying that Grace and I are ALMOST finally over our terrible cold/flu virus that knocked us off our feet. I was juggling work while feeling dazed, achey, and in a fog, and sadly found no time for HDWD. I'm excited to be back!

If you've been reading Have Dog, Will Drive for any length of time, you've probably noticed that posting my monthly goals is one thing I always do without fail, even if it ends up being a couple of days after the 1st of the month. Going back a few years ago, I didn't set monthly goals at all! I'm not sure exactly when the switch was flipped, but now I'd feel totally lost without those guideposts each month. These days I don't have a ton of free time, so knowing how to prioritize the gaps in my schedule to make progress about what matters is crucial.

A few months after I started setting monthly goals, I started seeing this concept called 101 in 1001 on blogs. It's a concept where you set 101 goals (some big, some small, some serious, some not-so-serious) to be completed over a period of 1001 days. 1001 days works out to be just about 2.75 years. It's a nice length because you can set goals that mean a lot to you and that you need more than just a year to accomplish, but it's not too long to keep up with. You can find a few other blogs that define the concept and share their lists here, here, here, here, and here.  

I started my 101 in 1001 list on September 4, 2015, and my completion date is June 1, 2018. I keep all of my 101 goals written down in the notebook pictured above, and I write a little description once I check off each one! Now that I'm just a few months from the end, I can see that there are some I won't complete, but that's kind of the beauty of 101 in 1001. It's a snapshot of what mattered to me in summer 2015, and I can see everything that's changed since then. Some things have become more important, and others have become less. 

If you are considering doing 101 in 1001, I have absolutely loved it as a personal goal setting tool. Now that my timeline is almost up, I'm thinking about doing a "90 before 30" as my next one. It's basically the same concept, but it's slightly fewer goals and it's focused on a time period before a certain age.  This could totally be adapted to any age (i.e., 50 before 50, etc.), but my 101 in 1001 ending coincides almost perfectly with my 27th birthday, so 90 before 30 seemed like a good fit. I'll update here if/when I make a new list. Without further ado, here's my list and the progress I've made so far (some goals that are private or aren't fully "my story" to tell, I just labeled "private"):

1. Make an "art teacher" necklace (here's the inspiration for that)--completed 2/19/16. I actually ended up having a craft night at my apartment with my law school friends and we all made them! So fun.

2. Paint or wallpaper a wall--not yet

3. Try hair extensions--nope. I don't think this one is going to happen. My hair is already long enough! (But it wasn't when I set this goal. I just ended up going au naturale on this one, I guess)

4. Personal

5. Take a big family trip with my immediately family--not really, but we've had plenty of good times all together :)

6. Visit Yosemite--yes. You can read my post on visiting Yosemite with a dog here.

7. Take a calligraphy glass--not yet. This is one I could totally do before June, though!

8. Surprise Grace with a weekend getaway--yes! You can read about our surprise Pismo Beach getaway here.

9. Personal

10. Keep a recipe journal/book separate from my other journals--yes! Need to update more frequently though.

11. Send a handwritten note to a friend at least once a month--this is one that has changed my whole outlook on life! There was a period of time where I sent a card at least once a week. I've trailed off lately, but I'm a snail mail person for life now. It's one of my favorite things ever.

12. Join my first gym by myself (separate from parents'/school membership)--no, and my priorities have shifted. Not interested in gyms right now!

13. Surprise my family on the East Coast--no, but I have gotten to see them a ton!

14. Print an Artifact Uprising at least every six months for significant life events--not that often, but I've made several!

15. Perfect some kind of seemingly-complicated hairstyle--sort of . . . I have experimented with braid crowns and overnight curls and it's gone decently well. Not a huge priority anymore!

16. Decorate an office with a bulletin/inspiration board and plants--not yet; I should totally do that in my office now

17. Plant something edible and watch it grow--sadly no, not yet!

18. Call or write a letter to my grandmother at least once a month--I've been pretty good at this!

19. Turn this 101 in 1001 list into something printed that I can write in and keep forever--yep! The journal pictured at the top of this post

20. Take a fun bar trip--YES! I went to Barcelona, Ibiza, Sardinia, Santorini, and Athens with some of my closest friends from law school in the summer of 2016 after I took the California Bar Exam

21. Pass the California Bar Exam--yes, November 18, 2018. Biggest relief ever

22. Graduate from Berkeley Law--yep! May 13, 2016

23. Reach out to someone I admire but don't know personally--yes. I reached out to some bloggers I admire when I first started thinking about blogging, and I got the sweetest and most helpful responses.

24. Go to N/Naka with Grace--not yet! Maybe this spring!

25. Spend time with Grace's parents and have Grace spend time with my parents at least once a year--yes :) Last year, Grace even spent time with my family WITHOUT me there when she went to North Carolina to ask their blessing to ask me to marry her

26. Register to vote in California--yes

27. Vote in the 2016 presidential election and in state elections--yes

28. Personal

29. Take a cooking class with Grace--no. I've done this without her, whoops!

30. Take a flower arranging class--not yet

31. Buy a car--decided to lease instead (and so happy I did)

32. Find a good multivitamin and take it every day for a month+--not consistently. It's hard for me to care about this for some reason :(

33. Be a bridesmaid--still no! Get married, friends!

34. Get a massage--yes, many times, including last weekend. So needed

35. Take a trip by train--yes, Grace and I took a train from Brussels to London and back in spring 2016

36. Start wearing my retainer regularly--I don't even know where mine is anymore, if that tells you anything. Sorry teeth

37. Come up with monthly goals on the first day of each month and write them down--yes, obviously!

38. Buy a tent with Grace--we keep getting gifted/loaned tents very sweetly! So we have not technically bought one together

39. Print and frame photos for family & Grace--yes, I have so many printed photos and love it. I'm such a believer in printing your photos and not letting them just live on your phone/Instagram

40. Personal

41. Make pickles, including something other than cucumber--I've made cucumber pickles, but not something else. Need to do that!

42. Visit 5 new US States--done! 6 actually so far. Washington, Arizona, Nevada, Idaho, Montana, and Alaska

43. Get into a habit of taking two rest days a week from social media--I haven't been as good about this lately, but I used to be. Need to get back into it. I think it's good and refreshing to do this

44. Read 10 books (not for school/work)--yes, more than 10 actually (looking back that was a pretty low number)

45. Get my first Christmas tree of my own--not yet. I decided I want my first Christmas tree to be my first married Christmas :)

46. See a movie at a drive-in with Grace--not yet

47. Go skiing--yes, in Tahoe with law school friends!

48. Personal

49. Purge closet once every six months--I've done this a couple of times, but I haven't nearly as much as I should

50. Try a capsule wardrobe for 3 months--I've done capsule wardrobes for trips, including for our Alaska trip. But I don't think it's a priority anymore for me to do it for 3 months.

51. Organize photos on my laptop and back them up--I use an external hard drive now but could still be wayyy more organized with photos!

52. Through a surprise party--yes!! See my how-to here

53. Leave a 100% tip for a server who you want to feel appreciated--yes, just the other night actually! We ate at Jones and one of our best friends Sara was our server :)

54. Send flowers to a friend or family member--I sent flowers to a friend recently for her birthday, but I don't think this counts--I want to just send some out of the blue, just because!

55. Attend a conference for personal interests--not yet but want to

56. Find a classic, signature, grown-up perfume--not yet

57. Visit Elon--not yet but Grace's cousin is now a student there, so we need to go see him!

58. Visit Antarctica--nope!! Haha. To be fair I still really want to do this, but this was a bold one.  

59. Put stacks of printed photos around the house--yes, love it. My favorite is when people thumb through them and ask if they can keep ones of people they know. I always say yes!

60. Get my own credit card--yes, finally (I feel like this may be shocking to some but I operated on cash for years, and it really helped me save a TON and never go into debt in my whole life. Now I have one, just for purposes of points to use on our honeymoon flights)

61. See all of my mom's siblings and their families together in one place--yes, Thanksgiving 2017. And it was the sweetest.

62. Personal (this one is about pulling off a surprise that I still haven't done, so I can't share it!)

63. Take a vacation with my best friend Anna--not really, though we've visited each other a bunch. Needs to happen!

64. Spend a weekend with Sarah Rose and Allie (my oldest friends from growing up)--not yet! Not all three together, at least.

65. Personal

66. Bring baked goods to someone who needs a pick me up--yes, pumpkin bread :)

67. Make a list of 101 positive things about myself--yes, in May 2017. It took a couple of weeks to think of 101 different things, but really good for the soul!

68. Buy flowers for myself just because--yes, several times!

69. Get a cute filing cabinet to have at home and organize important personal papers--no, and could really use it

70. Make a home office wherever I live after law school--yes and no; we have an office in our house (which is a huge luxury and we love it!), but it's really Grace's office and not mine. Haha! She works from home whereas I have my own office downtown, so it makes sense. I'm typing this from our kitchen table right now.

71. Go apple picking, strawberry picking, or to a pumpkin patch with Grace--yes, plus going to Christmas Tree farms! Though only for wreaths and mistletoe, see #45 above

72. Make or buy earthquake kits to keep in my house and car--no, and obviously should

73. Make personal calling cards/business cards--no, and I probably won't do this one. I have business cards for my job and probably wouldn't use personal ones

74. Personal

75. Make creme brulee from scratch with Grace--not yet. Funny story, "creme brulee" was our code word for years when we were just dating and didn't talk openly about marriage because we weren't in the right season yet. One time we were on a date to a creme brulee shop in San Francisco, and somehow "the future" came up, and Grace just said, "I LOVE creme brulee and I feel the same about a potential next step, in a couple years . . ." and ever since we would say "creme brulee" instead of the M word. Haha! So long story short, we really need to try making it ourselves so this can come full circle!

76. Send "survival packages" to my friends taking the bar exam alongside me in summer 2016--yep! I think they liked them a lot. I included fun scented highlighters, gum, encouraging cards, relaxing tea, and airplane bottles of vodka.

77. Personal 

78. Cook lobster or crab myself--no, and honestly I'm scared and don't really want to!

79. Bake muffins from scratch on a lazy morning--nope, need to get a muffin tin

80. Invest in a new pair of sunglasses in a shape other than aviators (my longtime shape of choice)--yes, I treated myself to some cat-eye sunnies but that was a couple of years ago now and they broke recently! 

81. Buy a bar cart--no, but our house has a built-in bar area which is even better :)

82. Stock a bar car--stocked our built-in bar

83. Host a slumber party--not yet. Maybe for my bachelorette!

84. Come up with an organizational system for my card collection, washi tape, gifts, small ribbons, etc.--sort of-it could definitely be tamed, but my ridiculously large collection is somewhat organized at the moment

85. Make a coffee cart as a gift for Grace--yes, as a surprise for her 26th bday! I got a eucalyptus wood rolling cart and stocked it with a coffee maker, tons of beans, syrups, a grinder, and other items. Probably my best gift to her ever.

86. Find and move into an LA apartment--moved in, and moved out! I loved my first little place in West Hollywood--looking back, my last "bachelorette pad"!

87. Put away $__ [personal] for a honeymoon fund--yes

88. Do some kind of public speaking--not really

89. Drive across the US--not yet, but drove across Canada to Alaska in September 2017!

90. Try making butter, jam, and biscuits from scratch--not yet. Grace recently saw this when she was thumbing through my 101 in 1001 notebook and said this is the one I need to do next, ha!

91. Come up with my own pimiento cheese recipe similar to Mrs. McNair's (my neighbor growing up who had the BEST pimento cheese recipe)--yes, slowly but surely I have developed my own recipe (or rather, method) and it's seriously good. If you don't know what this one is about at all, it's a Southern thing.

92. Take a Northern California road trip with Grace--we drove through on our way back from Alaska, but I'd love to do a dedicated NorCal road trip

93. Spend a day getting lost in a new city without any particular plan and take it in--a few times actually! NYC (not new to me, but I was in a new area), Seattle, and Barcelona

94. Make my own fruit infused waters--no, but sounds great; I still should!

95. Write the story of Casper--yes, many times over.  For Christmas, Grace and I usually do gifts of no monetary value for each other to focus on the meaning of the holiday. One year, I wrote out in a journal the whole story of how we got Casper, plus a little made-up story about his life before us (reimagined to not be so horrible). I've also written about Casper's life and passing on this blog.

96. Get scuba certified with Grace and go scuba diving--no, not sure if it's still a priority

97. Buy a set of signature, personalized stationary--was gifted two beautiful sets by my parents for Christmas one year! It's about time to do this one again, since I'll be changing my name after I get married!

98. Find some way to better organize jewelry, especially necklaces, and display it beautifully--not really

99. Invest in a quality foundation that is the perfect skin color for me--would love to switch to more a more natural foundation, I'm sure mine is filled with parabens and other toxins

100. Find a great one-piece bathing suit--no. Investing in one for our honeymoon for sure!

101. Watch the sunrise and sunset intentionally in a single day--not in the way that I'd like. We saw the sun rise and set almost every day on our Alaska trip, but it was often from the car. I want to sit and reflect and give thanks while watching the sunrise and sunset in the same day very intentionally, so I haven't crossed this one off yet!

I also keep some space in the back of my 101 in 1001 notebook to write down things that I'm very proud of and in retrospect could have been a 101 in 1001 goal, but weren't. Here are some of the ones I have written down:

• Baked fresh pumpkin bread and brought it to school (law school), still warm, and passed slices up and down the rows of desks
• Ran the Nike Women's Half Marathon (on San Francisco hills!!)
• Hosted a brunch to celebrate Casper, so my law school friends could meet him. I cherish this even more now that he's gone
• Traveled with Grace to her hometown of Waterloo, Belgium
• Took 10 full days away from email while traveling
• Took the California bar exam (I only made passing it a goal, but as anyone who's been through it knows, even taking it is a big accomplishment!)
• Started this blog!
• Got engaged to the love of my life on September 14, 2017

If you've done a 101 in 1001 list, I'd LOVE to hear about it! These are some of my favorite goals to read about. Hope you enjoyed mine.

Small Dog Love

The topic of this post is something that's been percolating in my mind for a while. In short, it's that I've kind of gone through a few mental stages in the process of adopting and falling in love with our puppy Jellybean. I adore him, even through his strange puppy ways, even when he has diarrhea, and yes, even though he's probably not going to get much bigger than 11 or 12 pounds! To some, that last one might not raise any eyebrows. But I'll be honest and say that I was a little worried at first when I realized that we'd adopted a small dog. Today I want to share some thoughts on that journey and talk about the Small Dog Love that I've come to embrace!

I've always had and loved big dogs. Growing up, my family had a dog named Jack. Jack was a mixed breed that looked something like a huge long-legged yellow lab. We think he was a mix between a doberman, Great Dane, lab, and maybe some other large breeds in there too. He weighed 110 pounds, all muscle, and he was tall enough to eat off of a table. He was such a good family dog, and he's what "made sense" to me as a dog when I was a kid. The concept that a dog might be only 10 pounds didn't really cross my mind.

When Jack died (when I was in college), my family adopted an American bulldog mix named Huckleberry Finn (Huck for short). He's about 80 pounds and a short and stout barrel of a dog. He's always had a ton of energy and he fit perfectly into our family. He also jumpstarted my love of pit mixes.

A few years later when Grace and I adopted Casper, it felt natural to both of us to get a big hunk of a dog. At 80 pounds and MEATY, Casper felt perfect to us. He was the best snuggle buddy. When he died last summer, we adopted Willie, and at 60 pounds we even joked that he was too small for us! But it was obvious that Willie was also meant to be part of our family.

Then came Jellybean. We knew we wanted a second dog, and I've told the story on this blog about how we ended up with little Bean. But honestly, we thought he'd get a lot bigger! Now we've had him for about 10 weeks, and he's maybe grown 1-2 pounds. It looks like he's more or less at his adult weight now, and he's TINY! I can't even believe how small he is sometimes. He's one of the smaller dogs I've ever spent time with. When we go to puppy playtime on the weekends, he's consistently the smallest dog there. 

If you're a small dog person, you might be wondering what the big deal is! But if you're a big dog person, you probably know what I mean. It's easy to think of small dogs as almost a different type of creature. When we were at the vet the other day, a gorgeous Burmese Mountain Dog walked in, and Grace mentioned that it was hard to believe that he and Bean are the same species. It's true that small dogs are a different sort of pet. But, I also think there are some unfair stereotypes of small dogs. I even believed some of them myself.

I think part of the problem is that I lived in an apartment building (before Grace and I moved into our house) where one of my neighbors had the most annoying chihuahua on earth. I feel bad saying that, because it's just an animal, but this owner was really irresponsible and the chihuahua would terrorize everyone in the building with howling and yapping constantly. Even before that, I kind of thought of small dogs as being annoying, loud, or just not as fun. 

I realize now how wrong I was, and how I was closing myself off to a whole range of sweet animals that make amazing pets! My thoughts on the subject were really unfair and based in almost nothing. Now, having come to love a small dog, I see so many amazing, fun things about their size. It's not that I'm now saying small dogs are better than big dogs, or vice versa. By why close yourself off to either? At least, that's the conclusion I've come to :)

I think it's easy to characterize yourself or others as a "big dog person," a "small dog person," "a cat person," "a rabbit person" or whatever. There's totally judgments and assumptions about which one you are, and also potentially the feeling that you shouldn't stray from what you know. After we got Bean, I felt very insecure about people who probably mostly meant well making comments about it "not being us" to get a small dog. Anytime you get a new pet, there's a feeling of potential panic and questioning yourself (something I plan to write a separate post about soon), so it kind of hurt to hear anyone doubt whether having a small dog was a good thing. But that was probably because it reflected my own thinking, sadly! Now, I've come full circle and think it's so much fun to have a little stuffed animal of a dog. Here are a few more reasons why I have a case of Small Dog Love:

• They are super easily transportable and you can take them almost anywhere
• They "need" you more. For example, on a long walk Bean will get tired and want us to pick him up and carry him. It's the sweetest
• They can fit in odd places around the house, like balancing on top of a pillow on the couch or sitting beside your feet on your bath mat while you brush your teeth in the morning. Bean is more like a cat in this sense--he'll find little nooks and crannies to sleep in
• Being able to scoop them up and kiss their little snout is the best! It's fun to just grab Bean and smother him with love, something that's a little more difficult with a big dog
• They are undeniably CUTE. I think Willie is just as cute, don't worry. But there's something about having a mini little animal in your house that makes you just want to squeeze them
• They don't need to eat as much and don't need as much exercise. Overall, they're probably a little bit less expensive and a little bit easier to take care of than big dogs
• You get to feel like Elle Woods with your little lap dog Bruiser, haha! I'm kind of into that now that I have a little tiny pup

And I'm sure there are a million more reasons that I will come to discover as time goes on with Bean! I just wanted to share my thoughts on this in case you've ever, like me, doubted if small dogs were "as good" as big dogs. I'm here to tell you that they're awesome in their own right! I want to better my thinking on pets in general, and realize that animals are amazing companions across the board. I'm sure I've totally judged someone for having a "weird" pet, but I really shouldn't. Even though having a ferret might not be my cup of tea, I'm sure it makes someone's day to play with theirs. I just want to be more accepting on this front in general.

Here are a few more pics of my favorite small dog, Bean Baldridge!

Will You Be My Bridesmaid?

I'm back with another wedding-related post! Now that we are in the full swing of planning for our wedding, I've realized how hard it is to blog about it because I want things to be fresh and fun and surprising for our guests! For example, we had our catering tasting a couple of weeks ago, and I took photos of everything so I could blog about it . . . but then realized I want to make sure our food is a surprise :) And of course I took a ton of photos of wedding dress shopping, but that has to stay a surprise too! So, I think I'll be doing a ton of planning recaps in late summer/early fall once we're married and back from our honeymoon!

But one thing I realized I could already blog about is how I asked my sweet bridesmaids to stand beside me on my wedding day. I sent out care packages to everyone in October, so they've all long ago received them and happily accepted my "proposal."  I wanted to write this post as a quick inspiration for anyone looking for a relatively simple way to do something sweet for your besties who are going to be in your wedding! This one is also a good option if your friends don't live in your city.

Let me back up and say that Grace and I are having a BIG wedding party. We each have 10 people on our side. I'm sure some people will roll their eyes and say that's excessive, but here's the thing: each of these people are INCREDIBLY important to us, and we can't imagine not having them in our wedding. Plus, I've wanted to incorporate Southern traditions into our wedding where possible, and having a large group of bridesmaids is super Southern. I've regularly seen weddings in the South with 15 or more maids, so don't hate me, haha!

Grace and I handled inviting our 10 to stand beside us separately. A lot of Grace's people live overseas, so she went with a simple heartfelt handwritten note, which I thought was so classic and sweet. It also would have been too expensive to mail care packages to different countries like I did with my people (who all live in the US).

When thinking about how to ask the people on my side, I knew I wanted to send something fun in the mail. I love the idea of having a lunch or cocktail party and inviting your bridesmaids to ask them all together as a surprise (I love this styled shoot inspiration on that idea), but the problem is that my bridesmaids live in 6 different states. My wedding will pretty much be the only time they'll all be in the same place, so having a party with all of them was out. 

I thought about what the people in my bridal party would find special, and I decided to curate little care packages for each of them. I went to stores like Anthropologie, Paper Source, and Dylan's Candy Bar to find cute trinkets and candies that I thought would make them smile. I also ordered customized scratch-off cards with each girl's name from this Etsy shop (shown in the photo above). The gold hearts on the cards scratched off with a penny to reveal the words "Will You Be My Bridesmaid?" or in my sister's case, "Will You Be My Maid of Honor?" I thought the scratch-off element was so fun and added a bit of surprise even though I couldn't surprise people in person.

Speaking of the cards, if you notice that there are only 9, the reason is because my brother is my bride's butler! When we were little, I always knew Blair would be in my wedding, and my sister came up with the name "bride's butler" as the boy version of bridesmaid. (Get it, maids and butlers?) Of course, boys can be bridesmaids, too, but I've always thought that bride's butler is super cute and that's just what I'm calling him! I didn't do a personalized card for him, but I'm finding special ways to incorporate him into my day.

Anyway, I had so much fun shopping over a few days and finding cute things that each girl would love. Here's a picture of a few of them:

Once I had all the gifts, I picked a handful of items to put in each care package, and I slipped the personalized cards in too. In each card I wrote a letter talking about all that their friendship meant to me, and why I wanted them to stand beside me in my bridal party. I also included a penny in each envelope so they could scratch off the message and not have to hunt for pocket change!

I bought some boxes and bubble wrap and assembled everything myself. Then Grace sweetly helped me carry it all into the post office to send around the country. I was honestly expecting to spend easily $200 on shipping all of this, but I was very pleasantly surprised that the total for all the care packages--going to Oregon, DC, New York, North and South Carolina, etc.--was only $62. I used the most basic option at USPS and they all arrived within about a week.  I also did give a couple of the care packages in person to my in-town friends.

Next came the best part: waiting patiently for the boxes to arrive so I could get excited texts and phone calls from everyone! That was my favorite part of the whole process. I am happy to say that it's been so fun planning with everyone. I have the best friends in the world, and they've all been amazing with picking out bridesmaid's dresses and just generally being SO supportive.

One last note about choosing who to ask to be in my bridal party: that was really tough. Grace and I both struggled to narrow down our groups (we could have easily gone to 15+ each . . .) but ultimately we thought about various phases in our lives and chose significant people from those. For me, I asked: my 2 siblings, my 2 oldest best friends from growing up (who I've known even longer than my own sister), 2 best friends that I lived with in college and 2 other best friends from college (both of whom played a role in me and Grace starting to date), and 2 LA-based friends from Elon as well. I decided to keep the group to people I had met through Elon or earlier. So even though I have amazing friends from law school, working, and other aspects of my life, I kept it to those groups of people in order to keep the size reasonably manageable. I know some people just do their sister and one best friend, and that's awesome too! And many people choose not to have a wedding party, which is another option. One thing I've learned from wedding planning is just to scrap any traditions that you don't particularly care for. For me, though, asking my best friends to be part of my wedding was one of the things I was most looking forward to about being engaged. If you're in the same boat, I hope this post provides some inspiration for how you can ask them in a special way! More to come soon on wedding stuff.

A Heart to Heart

On my phone notes app, I have a running list of ideas for blog posts. I got a bunch more ideas from the results of the Survey I recently did, and whenever I'm feeling stumped, I'll scroll through it and decide what to write about next. The idea for this post was most definitely not on the list--and it's not one that I really wanted to write, for reasons I'll explain here. Today I'm going to write about being gay.

Over the past few months I've noticed kind of a trend. I can see what people search for on my blog (it's anonymous, but I can just see the search terms through my analytics page), and pretty frequently people search gay/lesbian/lgbt or some variation on that. They might be surprised when nothing whatsoever comes up, other than a post on making a picnic for pride. That post could easily have been written by a straight girl who just likes rainbows. So far, on my blog, on Instagram, or anywhere else, I don't talk openly about being gay. And in my Survey results, several people asked if I would post some LGBT content. I read that and in my mind was like . . . nope! Not in my comfort zone. But it got me thinking that a lot of people coming to my blog might be gay and/or interested about the life Grace and I live from that perspective. We are so lucky to live in one of the most gay-friendly places on earth (West Hollywood, I love you forever), and I think it's even fascinating to people that we live our lives as a couple so openly. That said, I'm really not open at all through blogging or social media on this topic.

But I'm engaged to Grace, so it's not a secret. I just don't mention my identity in relation to that . . . I act like it's a foregone conclusion because of who I'm marrying (which, it basically is). Grace talks plenty about being gay, on TYT, on her Youtube channel, on Instagram, Twitter, everything. It's super normal for her and I think that's a big reason why people connect with her, because she lives so openly, can joke about it, and makes it so much fun. And it's not that I don't live openly; again, I'm totally public about the fact that I'm getting MARRIED to Grace. It doesn't get much gayer than that. But overall, I'm not really comfortable talking about "gay stuff." If someone I don't already know realizes that I'm gay, I'm instantly uncomfortable.

I honestly don't think some of my best friends know that I get uncomfortable in this way or would pick up on it. It's not as if I spend each day paranoid or that I'm ashamed of who I am, at all. But at the same time, I mostly would really just prefer to act like my identity as a gay person doesn't exist. If it comes up, I usually dismiss it with something like, "oh, that's the least interesting thing about me." I'm SO proud to be getting married to Grace. I've known I wanted to marry her since I was 21 years old. To me, she is perfect, and when we are out together or living our lives, any insecurities melt away. But it's when I'm alone, or here on my own corner of the internet, that I don't feel like I show much (or any) pride in my identity. I act like it doesn't exist.

And to be fair, I got some really sweet comments in my Survey about how refreshing it is to see a gay couple that does act like it's just normal, and "not a thing." That's exactly what I want--to be normal. And I think it's a huge part of why I've been pretty silent on this front on my blog. But I don't feel like that's right anymore, just to pretend I'm normal when obviously I'm different. To explain where I'm coming from, and where I'm hoping to move forward, I have to start wayyy back, at least 10 or 15 years ago.

I realized I was gay early in high school, when I was about 15 and had never been on a date or had a real kiss or anything like that. I went to an all girls school in the South. I have to preface what I'm about to write with this caveat: I have some of the BEST friends out of high school/growing up, but literally only about 4 of them that I've talked to in years. 

But. Aside from a few shining examples of sweet friendships, I had a really bad high school experience. I was so depressed, and secretive, and fell into being "weird" when that's not me at all. Anyone who knows me now, knows that living a sweet, simple, fairly conventional life is what I'm happy doing. Being honest, being a good friend, loving my (soon to be) spouse and my dogs, and being close with my family are some of my most important core values. But you wouldn't have thought that had you known me in high school.

In my small school, I confided in a couple of people, and soon the rumor mill started churning. I was outed and gossiped about. I remember hearing that one girl in particular, who I didn't even really know but who was very "cool" at my school, was telling everyone that I was gay. I was so anxious and upset about it, and mulling over what to do, I decided to send her a message saying that I was uncomfortable with everyone knowing and asking her to stop. She flat out said no. Everyone is gossiped about in high school, so I don't expect anyone to have sympathy for me on that front alone. But it's hard to describe how isolating and horrible it felt to know that everyone was making judgments about me, based on something I didn't fully understand about myself, in a medium-conservative area of the country where I didn't know a single openly gay person. It's not even that I think girls at my school were saying to each other that I was going to hell, or that they didn't want to ever talk to me, or anything like that. People weren't, for the most part, outright mean. And some were even nice to me and not judgmental. But it was the instantaneous "different" label slapped on me from then on that really hurt me. Never to chat with my friends over lunch about who I had a crush on, like everyone else. Never to take a "real" date to prom or school dances (I usually took my gay guy friend who was an awesome dancer, bless him). Never to just be ordinary, unremarkable . . . always slightly scandalous. Which is the antithesis of what I wanted to be. Because I was secretive of my identity (even though everyone knew, it's not like I could openly talk about it), I became secretive about everything. I would lie about things I had no reason to lie about. I started dressing differently, in a way that wasn't my style at all. I got bad grades. People thought I was doing drugs or something. I was glad if they did, because it meant the focus was on something other than the fact that I was a big, fat, lesbian.

I want to point out that I have an extremely loving, amazing family, who are currently helping me plan the wedding of my dreams to my future WIFE. Pinch me, I'm so happy. But, sadly, during high school I wasn't open with them at all, either. I had no one to talk to, and everything I did felt shady. I have such a pit in my stomach remembering that time in my life. It's just so not me. I felt like I matured slower than my peers during this time, too. I couldn't experience the normal high school rituals of dating, staying out past curfew, "typical" high school drama, getting invited to dances or other functions, or anything like that. I'm embarrassed because I felt like I acted so immature during high school because of all of this, but I also just sometimes, even now, sit down and cry for that girl who never got to be normal or experience growing up and coming of age in a way that could be happy and carefree.

A lot of this isn't anyone's fault. And looking back, my high school life was actually charmed compared to so many people's. I wasn't kicked out of my house. I wasn't assaulted or killed because of a hate crime. I didn't try to kill myself. Those are good, and (sadly) lucky, things. But without comparing my story to anyone else's, I was just plain unhappy. 

Things got a lot better when I went to college. I went through phases, grew up a lot, made incredible friends, and just became so much more of who I am. And then at the end of college I met Grace. Right around this time I decided to move to California for law school, and by coincidence, Grace was moving to California, too. We dated for the first few years I lived out here and I was happier than I'd ever been. California was my Promised Land. I don't hate North Carolina even a little bit. And I don't think I would be openly discriminated against there. But it was my desperation to be normal that drove me to California, where I could be around more people "like me."

Fast forward to the end of law school. I knew that Grace and I would probably be getting engaged within the next year or two. And we'd finally not be long-distance anymore (we were six hours apart for the first three years we dated). And right around that time, I had a major meltdown. I knew that I was meant to marry Grace. But I had this realization wash over me that I'd never known a married gay couple in my life. That my own wedding would be the first gay wedding I'd ever attend. That I didn't "know how to do it." That I had no role models. I remember in Spring of 2016, right before I graduated from Berkeley, visiting Grace in LA. We drove up to the Malibu mountains (coincidentally not at all far from where we're getting married in 6 months) to watch the sunrise. I'd written Grace a letter pouring my heart out on all of this . . . that I was so deeply sad that I had no mentors or role models in my life who "looked like me." That I felt unprepared to become a family. That I wanted it but didn't know how. And as Grace read the letter I cried my eyes out on that mountaintop. Grace listened, and heard me, and dried my eyes. I sobbed, "you know that quote, 'if you can't see it, you can't be it'?" It's a quote about needing role models and the importance of visibility and representation. It resonated so strongly with me. But Grace just said, "if we can't see it, then WE have to be it. For the next person."

Just to back up, I'm not trying to act like we're pioneers or something, or that we're the first gay people to get married. We're SO lucky that others have pioneered before us. But what I'm getting at, and what was troubling me, is just visibility within our own circles. As much as I might know that plenty of gay couples get married and start families all the time in theory, I personally don't know any (at least very well). I couldn't really think of a single family in my life that looked like what my future family might look like. So it's not about us going where no one had gone before, but just about meaningful mentorship and role models within our own personal lives. I'm not sure if others can relate, but that was just a big sticking point for me.

Well, you know how the rest of the story goes. Grace and I did get engaged, and even though yes, our wedding will be the first gay wedding either of us has been to, we're feeling good about making it a celebration with nods to tradition but that's also uniquely "us." I still sometimes get teary-eyed about the years I lost being sad, feeling different, and not loving myself well. And I think after being outed, I've for years wanted to kind of reclaim my privacy. Of course, I post pictures with Grace all the time, so I'm not being secretive. But I am generally private about my identity or even about calling myself gay, especially online. I don't know if I'll start talking about myself differently after writing all of this out, or if anything will change other than this post being out there on the internet. I don't think it really needs to. It's also not as if the pain I felt for years is instantly healed. I am still working through forgiveness and letting go of the past. I don't think I could ever bring myself to attend a high school reunion, but I'm not sure why I would ever want to anyway. Part of healing is realizing that while some parts of my life were dark, there is so much LIGHT in my life now--why turn back toward the shadows? But I did think it was worth explaining all of this, for anyone who might be wondering about my story or why, until now, a search of the word "gay" on my blog would have returned no results. I'm proud of who I am and more than anything, of the little family I'm starting with Grace. I cry tears of happiness all the time just driving home from work or having a good conversation with Grace over dinner. My cup runneth over. But I know for almost every gay person out there, there's always the "back story." For anyone who's still in the thick of it (I'm definitely not immune to feeling different, by the way), hang in there. If you want to talk, you can always Contact me through my blog inquiries page.

xoxo

February Goals + January Recap

I'm a few days late, but I wanted to jump on here and share my February goals! I always love February. Valentine's Day has been one of my favorite holidays since I was a little kid, and to me February is the first hint of Spring (my favorite season). First, here's how I did on my January goals:

• Book our wedding caterer -- done! And I'm SO excited for our wedding food
• Book our wedding band -- yes! I think they will be really fun
• Send out our save-the-date cards -- yep!
• Register for gifts -- yes
• Secure group rates for our wedding at hotels near the venue -- need to send in one more form, but yes
• Get organized with finances and start tracking spending again -- not really. This took the back burner
• Brainstorm for a getaway to celebrate the first quarter of 2018 in about three months -- brainstormed and booked :)
• Blog 2x a week on Have Dog, Will Drive -- Not consistently
• Finish unpacking our house, buy an entryway chair, and hang up some more frames -- Nope. This always gets pushed to the bottom of the to-do list, sadly!
• Try running with Bean (he has that puppy energy and I could use the exercise, too!) -- no, but I did some home workouts with the dogs

And my goals for February:

• Book our florist
• Plan and book my bachelorette weekend
• Decide on having a hometown bridal shower in Raleigh 
• Book shuttle/wedding transportation
• Paint my nails or get a mani-pedi if I have time
• Make an appointment with a dog behaviorologist to get on a good path with Willie and Bean (as rescues often do, both of them have a few quirks that we want to assess with a professional)

Wishing you a sweet, short month of love!

Weekend in the Life

Today’s post might be boring to some, but I personally love reading these types of posts on other people’s blogs, so why not? I got the suggestion to do a day in the life blog post from my reader survey, and I quickly decided to do a weekend in the life post instead. During the week, my day in the life would look like, “woke up at 5am. Went to go be a lawyer for a long time. Came home, cuddled dogs, ate and slept.” Haha! Not so interesting. But thankfully last weekend was pretty much work-free, and I got to document the whole thing to share here.

For those who haven’t seen day in the life posts on others’ blogs, it’s basically a style of blog post where you go through each little step in your day. It’s less of a recap and more of a step-by-step: what did you do when you woke up? What did you eat throughout the day? Etc. I personally love reading them because I love honing my routines and getting ideas from other people on how they do their day-to-day lives. I hope you enjoy reading!

One thing I wanted to be sure to include here was all of the steps that go into taking care of the dogs (depending on your perspective, it might seem like a lot or not a lot). The reason for including these tiny details is to give a snapshot of life to someone who might be wondering what kind of time commitment it is to have a dog (or two). I get this question a lot, so I hope this is helpful.

One last caveat before the recap: we normally eat a little bit healthier, and we also have friends I promise. The weekend before this for us was just super social (hosting Tina’s surprise party and getting a table at the Abbey for our friend Amir the next day) so we wanted some r&r at home. But hey, this is just a snapshot of one weekend. At this stage of life, every weekend is kind of different, so maybe I’ll do another one of these later.

Friday: I came home from work around 5:30 and started taking care of the dogs’ evening routine. Grace was out getting a tattoo (she has quite the collection now), so she wasn’t there when I got home. I walked Willie, fed Willie dinner, took Bean outside to go to the bathroom, and played with him a little bit in our yard. Then I brought him inside where he could reunite with his greatest love, his antler.

Then Grace got home and I told her about this “weekend in the life” idea and made her take the selfie at the top of this post with me. She is really sweet about my blogging (or “blerging” as she calls it, haha).

It was about 7:30 or 8pm at this point so we decided to make it a lazy night and order takeout and watch a movie! We ordered from The Counter, which is a great comfort food/burgers/fries/shakes type place with lots of vegan and vegetarian options.

We watched Love Song, which a friend had recommended. It was good!

We ended up pretty much falling asleep on the couch though (which had nothing to do with the movie). Bean snuggled up with us and got pretty sleepy too.

Saturday: The next morning we woke up and Willie was being SO snuggly!

Willie doesn’t usually sleep in our bed from the beginning of the night, but we often wake up to find he has jumped in and made himself comfy at some point while we were sleeping. This was a motivating factor in getting a king size bed for our new house. He’s the sweetest when he just wants cuddle time with his mamas.

I got up first to let Bean outside to go to the bathroom. He did his business in the yard, and then I let him roam around and hang out with me while I washed my face and brushed my teeth and got ready for the day.

I snapped this pic when I first walked outside from our bedroom into the living room. I think I'll forever have heart eyes for the light in our house in the mornings.

I gave Bean his breakfast and then Grace and I went on a stroll with Willie.

Willie gets SO excited during his first walk of the day and it's adorable! Makes it feel like we have two puppies in the house.

I love our neighborhood so much :) I think a lot of people envision LA to be super urban, and it's definitely more densely packed than where I grew up in North Carolina. But that said I'm always trying to explain to people how "neighborhoody" it is, which I love. We live super centrally, and still I love that our neighborhood is like this. We're lucky.

When Willie gets back from his morning walk he knows it’s time for his breakfast and he gets super excited. He’s the most food-motivated dog we’ve had out of the three.

Then it was time to go to puppy playtime! Puppy playtime is held at our vet every Saturday morning from 9-11am. It’s one of my favorite times of the whole week! Any patient of the vet that’s under 1 year old and up to date on shots can come for a big play group. It’s so nice because you get to socialize your puppy but know that there is professional supervision and everyone is up to date on shots. This week, it was some of the puppies’ birthday, so there were special treats for all the dogs.

Just one of the reasons we LOVE our vet!  

Bean did great at puppy playtime. He loves to run around to his favorite dog friends, and also all of the humans. Side note, our friend Lydia is pictured (to the far right in scrubs facing away from the camera) in the photo below—she has the best blog!! You can find it here. Lydia is one of my first blog friends :) She’s awesome. She also works at our vet and is super sweet to our pups.

Bean loves getting up on the platforms so he can see what's going on. He's usually the smallest one at puppy playtime, but he's fearless.

Also at this puppy playtime, Bean met and befriended a dog named Casper! (The white dog in the pic below). That warmed our hearts.

At one point I had 4 puppies in my lap at the same time. Puppy playtime is basically free therapy, haha!

After puppy playtime we headed out to get breakfast. We’ve started a tradition in the past few weeks where we go out to eat at a sidewalk café after puppy playtime so that Bean can get used to being polite and sitting at a restaurant with us. He’s doing pretty well, but of course he still has puppy energy that makes it hard for him to sit still!

On this day, we decided to go to Joey’s Cafe on Santa Monica. It was pretty good. Grace got an acai bowl and I got avocado toast.

Then we went to Tailwaggers to pick up some essentials. We were out of poop bags (#dogmomprobs) and also wanted to get some more Himalayan chews for Willie and Bean—they LOVE them. It seems like we end up going to Tailwaggers every single Saturday these days for something or other. Such is life.

We love Tailwaggers! I love that it's a local business and it's also where we first met Bean, at an adoption event they were holding.

I snapped this cute picture of Grace and Beanie outside the store as we were about to put Bean into the car. He's too small to hop in by himself so we have to pick him up!

Pretty much the rest of the afternoon we spent working on wedding stuff. We had a phone consultation with a potential florist and I spent some time working on addressing our save the dates! The dogs mostly just rested during this time.

Pictures of some floral inspiration I've been collecting.

When we started getting hungry we decided to order out again. I can’t remember the last time we got delivery two nights in a row, but it is what it is! We’re kind of in that season of life where I’ve made peace with not cooking as much, just because we have so much else going on. We got pizza from Big Mama’s & Papa’s.

We kind of just watched random bad TV at this point—caught up on the Bachelor, etc. Our minds needed a break!

Sunday: The next morning we woke up bright and early for our Sunday morning tradition: Canter’s Deli for breakfast followed by church in Malibu. We go to the cutest little Episcopal chapel by the sea; we love it so much and it has become really important to us over the past year or so. Because many people have asked, our officiant at our wedding will be one of the pastors there who we’ve gotten to know well.

Whenever we get to Canters, I immediately order a plate of pickles that I eat while we wait for our food. Canters makes their own pickles and they're SO good.  If you're in LA and a pickle fan, you need to try these.

And yes, I order from the normal menu (including fries) at 7:30am for breakfast. I'm weird but I love it.

I love our drive to and from Malibu every week. It's the sweetest.

We stayed after the service this time because we had a general meeting where Grace got elected to the vestry!

We then drove home and just rested around the house for a while. The best way to spend a Sunday.

I love being homebodies with Grace.

In this picture, I think Willie is thinking, "Lamby, we look good together, don't we"

I got a little bit of work done with Bean as my work buddy.

I posted one of the pictures below on stories too, but I just thought it was so funny. Bean LOVES pillows. He has recently started figuring out how to flip them on top of his back like a little turtle shell. It’s so cute and funny and weird, I love it.

Grace and Bean got some cuddle time too.

Then Grace wanted to go over some songs for her show in London coming up and brainstorm about her set list. We did that for a little bit. I love listening to Grace play music more than almost anything. When we first started hanging with the same group of friends in college, we would always convince her to play songs when it got late at parties. I pretty much fell in love right then.

Afterward I went to the grocery (we live two blocks from Whole Foods so I have been going there lately) and got basics for the week and some ingredients for dinner that night. When I got home I tended to the dogs (Willie got his second walk of the day, and they both got dinner) and started working on our dinner. After two days of takeout, I wanted something relatively healthy. I roasted some Brussels sprouts and made us open-faced egg sandwiches on whole wheat English muffins.

Notice the cornichons in the picture? I always eat those as a snack while I cook! If you can't tell, I love picked things.

While the sprouts were roasting I decided to multitask by jumping in the shower. Willie stayed right beside the shower the whole time! Both of our dogs love to be clingy when I’m taking a shower. They will stick right by me and poke their heads around the shower curtain every now and then. I think they’re checking on me because they hate baths—like, “you okay mom? I know it's scary in there”

Then Grace and I ate and went to bed pretty early to get ready for the week! I felt really rested from this weekend, especially in comparison to other weekends recently where I either worked the whole time or we were kind of overbooked socially. We might have been a little overly homebodies this particular weekend, but it was so nice to hit the reset button and relax. 

I hope you enjoyed this very long weekend in the life recap! Thanks to the suggestion of whoever anonymously thought of that idea :)

How to Throw a Surprise Party

As you might have seen on my Instagram stories, this past weekend Grace and I threw a surprise party for our best friend Tina! This was my first time throwing a surprise party for anyone, so I'm by no means an expert. But, I was really happy with how it went, so I thought I'd share some tips from what I learned! A really sweet suggestion I got from my Survey a few weeks ago was to share some posts on hospitality, decorating, etc. That inspired me to write this post!

That's Tina in the middle. Grace has known her since college, and I met Tina when I moved to California a few years ago. Tina is also our neighbor in West Hollywood! We go over to her apartment at least once a week (to watch the Bachelor), and sometimes twice a week if Drag Race is on. She's one of the most loyal people around and we just love her! A couple of months ago we were talking about Tina's birthday (Grace and I get REALLY excited about friends' birthdays and often discuss them months in advance, haha), and for some reason, the idea to throw a surprise party popped into our head. We've always wanted to throw one because they're so fun. But it's really hard to keep the person from suspecting something. We realized Tina would probably not expect us to throw her a surprise party, so it was the perfect cover.

With that in mind, my first tip for throwing a surprise party is to pick a time, occasion, or person that is low key/unassuming. I feel like surprise parties can be stressful when they're on the person's actual birthday, and you have to convince them that no one could hang out or that everyone forgot their birthday. To me, that kind of ruins the fun and celebration. So in this case, we actually had Tina's surprise party a week before her actual birthday to throw her off. I also think a surprise party could be really fun for a non-birthday occasion, like a bridal shower, congrats party, going away party, etc. I think it's a lot less suspicious for those types of occasions.

My next tip is to keep it simple. Our plan was to take Tina out to dinner at La Boheme in West Hollywood (SO good!), and at dinner casually mention that I had baked a dessert back at our house (we all live really close together so it makes sense to just stop by our house on the way home to drop her off). Key to all of this was to pick Tina up, so at that point we had her captive until we brought her to the party, haha! Again, it made sense because we told Tina we wanted to drive so she could kick back and have some drinks at dinner. We tried to keep everything within the realm of what seemed logical, so we didn't tip her off that something was going on.

Also in terms of keeping it simple, we went really basic with the decorations, food, and drinks. Planning a surprise party has enough complicated elements as it is! Because we were taking Tina out to dinner ahead of time, we just had a few store-bought snacks at our house for the party. We also got a cake decorated with a RuPaul phrase (Tina, Grace and I watch a lot of RuPaul together).

For decorations, we went to Vine-American Party Store in our neighborhood (I've used them a bunch of times for balloons and they're great). We picked out some things we thought were festive and/or went along with Tina's interests. For instance, she loves Disney and she's Italian, so we got some themed decorations along those lines. Pretty kitschy but fun :)

Speaking of keeping it simple--we actually recycled this birthday banner! Grace ordered it on Etsy last year for my birthday party. I have a drawer in our bar area with all kinds of party decor (I have birthday banners, Happy New Year banners, rainbow Pride banners . . .) it makes things really easy when it comes time to throw a party. And I'm always adding to my collection!

In case you can't tell, these are Minnie Mouse party decorations.

I loved how pretty the Chrome balloons turned out.

Last "keeping it simple" tip: don't feel like you have to buy every type of alcohol under the sun (if you're choosing to serve alcohol at the surprise party). In my experience, if people are really particular about what type of alcohol they'll drink, they will just bring their own! For this party, serving about 15-20 people, we bought: a case of beer (24), a bottle of vodka (could also use gin), a bottle of bourbon, a couple bottles of champagne, some flavored La Croix, grapefruit juice, and tonic. That amount was plenty, and everyone seemed happy!

Another thing that really helped us have a successful surprise was recruiting friends to be the "point people" for coordinating the surprise. We asked a few friends to come over about 30 minutes earlier than everyone else, and we left a key for them and told everyone else to text them with questions. That way, while we were at dinner with Tina I wasn't stressing about whether people were arriving okay. I knew our point people had it covered!

Seen in the picture above, before we left we set out a bunch of party hats, noisemakers, fun glasses, etc. I think it makes the surprise feel extra festive.

For the actual surprise, we decided to leave it up to our friends what they thought would be easiest and most effective. They ended up hiding off to the side in a nook off of our dining room, and then when we walked through the door, they jumped out and surprised Tina. I texted the point people when we were parking the car so they could get ready. When we walked in, they actually waited a beat before jumping out, and then they all broke into song for "Happy Birthday" (much to the embarrassment of Tina). It was SUCH a fun moment to fully pull off the surprise, plus to see a bunch of our friends all at once! 

For the rest of the night we mostly just hung out, caught up with friends, and celebrated Tina! Tina is very beloved, so it was awesome to see so many people from various facets of our friend group all come together. 

And, it wouldn't be a Have Dog, Will Drive post without a mention of our fur babies, who were very much present at the party:

My brother got to meet Bean for the first time!

This picture is so funny to me. Parties seem to make Willie tired, and he usually retreats to his bed partway through. This time, he hopped right up into our bed, and of course some of our dog-loving friends were not far behind. 

I hope you enjoyed reading about our first surprise party! This was also our first party in our house (we've had a dinner party but not a bigger group like this), and it makes me so excited for lots more.

HDWD Survey Results

Thank you SO much to everyone who took my Have Dog, Will Drive survey! My dream when starting this blog was that I would be able to engage with people and not just write into a vacuum. It was so fun to see where people are reading from, their favorite types of posts, and ideas/requests for new content! That was the most eye-opening part--I got responses of ideas for posts that were really inspiring and that I wouldn't have thought to write myself.

Just a pic of a small little bean in his big brother's bed

In case it's interesting to anyone else, I thought I would share some of the survey results here! They were overall a really big mix. For example, there wasn't one primary place people are reading from, which I thought was so cool. I got a decent amount of answers from the South and California, but there were also a ton from Europe, the UK, Canada, New England, and the Midwest. 

In terms of the types of post people most enjoy seeing, these were consistently the three categories people picked most:

• Getaways
• How-To's
• Personal

I would say that's pretty representative of my blog content, so that's good! But at the same time, I don't want to stay stagnant here, which is why I LOVED getting so many ideas for new posts. Here's a few that people suggested:

• More dog/road trip content (stick to my roots, got it)
• More thoughts and feelings on life (not sure if you REALLY want that, but I'll give it a shot, haha!)
• A day in the life post (love this idea, will do soon)
• More cooking/recipe posts (though some people also said they don't like that type of post, so I'll try to strike a balance)
• LGBT content
• Wedding planning (new post coming soon)
• Decorating and hosting tips
• What it takes to get a blog started (I'm still learning, but would gladly share what's worked for me!)
• Quick getaways in Southern California
• Organization posts
• Long distance relationships (both family and romantic--I think this is a great idea because I have TONS of experience on both fronts)
• Life in LA
• How faith life intersects with the things I write about
• General lifestyle posts
• Pros and cons of traveling with a dog and how to decide whether or not to bring them
• Tips and budgeting for trips
• A travel post from Willie and/or Bean's perspective (such a cute idea!)

I think these are all such great suggestions and I'm feeling super motivated to get to work on them! My ultimate goal with this blog is to make it helpful and interesting for people, so even though the survey is done, you can ALWAYS contact me with specific questions about road trips or life. You can also feel free to comment with requests for new posts! One of the most challenging parts about blogging is coming up with content that people actually want to read, so I could use all the help I can get and really appreciate getting insight from people. Again, thank you for taking the survey if you did, and you can expect posts in many of the above categories over the next few months!

Some January roses I spotted on a walk in our neighborhood a couple of weeks ago :)