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Happy Easter Sunday, friends! As I got up early this morning and walked Jellybean, watching him bound through fresh spring green grass taller than he is (ha!), I felt these words on my heart that I wanted to share in a short post.
Years ago, I heard this Easter message: "The worst thing is NEVER the last thing." That's what Easter is all about. Whether or not you celebrate Easter, I hope this is encouraging and hopeful for you.
Have a beautiful Easter Sunday!
Today I wanted to share the vision behind our save the dates and some photos! The photo above is what our cards (front and back) and envelopes ended up looking like. The black and white heart tape wasn't part of it--I just had to cover up some personal information for the photo :) Also, if you tilt your head and read the address, it's a made-up one just for fun! But it gives you an idea of how we addressed everything.
I love paper, and writing letters to friends and family is one of my main hobbies. So when it came to planning out our save the dates and invitation suites, I knew I wanted them to be really special and meaningful. There are SO many things you can do with save the dates these days--you can make it into a magnet, do online save the dates, and a couple of people even suggested that they aren't necessary (with love, I disagree). I knew for mine I wanted to stick with a regular paper invitation style, but I thought that save the dates were the perfect time to go a little more bold and fun than I wanted for our actual invitations (which will be a mostly black-and-white, classic style).
I designed our save the dates through Artifact Uprising, which is a company I've loved for years and ordered a lot of printed photos and photobooks through. I thought it would be fun to use a photo of us on the save the dates especially since I knew I wouldn't want to include one on our invitations. Our good friend Molly sweetly met us for brunch and then took some photos of us hanging out in Elysian Park for us to use on our save the dates. Here were some of the outtakes that we didn't end up using (but also loved):
Once we settled on which photo to use, I thought the rest would be easy . . . until we had a mishap that was totally my fault! Grace posted about this in her Instagram stories a few months ago, but I forgot to put the date of our wedding on our save the dates. Literally the point of sending save the dates is to let people know the date of your wedding in advance. And I just completely forgot to put it on there! I ended up hand writing in the date at the top of each card, as you can see in the photo at the top. I had a few people tell me they thought it was intentional and added a sweet personalized touch. I'm not sure if I believe them, but I'll try to choose to think that :) Ultimately, it was a good learning lesson that something like a save the date mishap is not even close to being the end of the world in terms of wedding planning.
When it comes to mail, stationary, and invitations, I believe that the packaging is almost as important as what's inside! Seeing a beautifully addressed envelope with interesting stamps in my mailbox always makes my day, so I wanted to provide that for our guests when they received our save the dates and give them a glimpse of our wedding style. I used a metallic gold pen to address our invitations and picked a suite of three stamps that I used on each one. Here's a tip if you love the look of multiple stamps, but the weight of your invitation only needs 1 forever stamp: the US Postal Service website has tons of low-denomination stamps you can order online! I used stamps that were only worth a few cents in addition to forever stamps, really just for decoration and to say a little bit about ourselves.
I used the National Park stamps as our main stamps, as a nod to our love for camping and trips to national parks with our dogs. Then I added low-value seashell stamps, reflecting the fact that we're getting married in Malibu, and 1-cent apple stamps, mostly because they were cute and only 1 cent each. But also, fun fact, one of the first conversations I had with Grace's mom was about our favorite varieties of apples. So I like to think it's a wink to that, too!
We also ordered a few sheets of international stamps. It's only $1.50 to send a letter anywhere in the world! So cool. For our international guests, we just used those. Some of our invitations actually made it to London before they made it to some of our stateside guests.
Thanks for reading! I hope to share more wedding updates and details soon!
I am so excited that we will be spending a couple of weeks in the great state of HAWAII for our honeymoon! I have been to Hawaii with my family and absolutely love it there, but I've only been to the islands of Oahu and Hawaii (known as "the Big Island"). Grace has never been. We will be spending half of our time on Maui and the other half on Kauai. Today I want to share a little bit about how we chose this destination and our process for planning so far. Once we've actually planned out the trip a bit more, I'll do a post about planning the trip, similar to my planning for Alaska post. This one is more just about how we decided where to go for our honeymoon :)
How We Decided Where To Go
First of all, Grace is an angel and would have let me pick literally anywhere in the world I wanted for our honeymoon. I thought about the following: Santorini (I went two summers ago and it's unreal beautiful); an Africa tour (one of my other all-time favorite travel destinations; I've spent time in Zambia and Botswana and would love to go with Grace to South Africa, Madagascar, and the Seychelles); OR a big US road trip where we could bring the dogs and take ferries to places like the San Juan islands off of Washington.
So why did I pick Hawaii? A few factors. First, although I love adventurous travel, I wasn't really looking for that in a honeymoon destination. I really wanted something relaxing, stress free, and easy for our honeymoon. I want to do a huge Africa trip at some point with Grace, but that's a logistically complicated trip. And as BEAUTIFUL as Santorini is, it really takes a full 24 hours to get there from California. In addition, all of those places involve a different language, different currencies, passports needed, etc. Hawaii is just incredibly easy.
Again, I'm a pretty experienced traveler but just for purposes of our honeymoon, I really want something as simple as possible! Hawaii fit the bill.
One other factor is gay-friendliness. With the exception of severe cases of homophobic places (i.e., Jamaica), I try not to let this determine my travel destinations. I'm not offended if people in certain countries assume we're just friends or sisters traveling together; if we can fly under the radar and experience beautiful places on earth, I'm all for it. We live in West Hollywood so I generally assume that anytime I leave my home it will be to a place less gay friendly than where I live, haha. As a gay couple it's common to turn heads in certain places where you travel (in the Yukon Territory of Canada and some parts of Alaska, for example). But for our honeymoon? I want the red carpet rolled out, champagne upon arrival, the whole enchilada. I don't want people asking if we're friends or assuming we want two separate beds in our hotel room. Of course, that can still happen anywhere, but Hawaii is SUPER gay friendly (it's the rainbow state after all!), so it lessens the chance :)
If you saw Grace's IG stories a few weeks back, you might have seen that I made a PowerPoint going over the different options of which islands we could visit in Hawaii during our honeymoon. It's true! I am a planning nerd at heart.
Picking Which Islands to Go to in Hawaii
This part was surprisingly easy. I'd already been to Oahu and Hawaii (the Big Island), and awesome as they were, I wanted to go somewhere new that Grace and I could both experience for the first time together. The other inhabited islands in Hawaii include Maui, Kauai, Lanai, Molokai, and Nilhau. Molokai and Nilhau are very different from the rest and don't include large resorts or many amenities (you actually can't visit Nilhau without an official invitation). They probably don't have the best "honeymoon vibes," at least based on what we're looking for. Lanai is tempting, but out of the three (Maui, Kauai, and Lanai), it feels like the one I can skip for whatever reason. I've heard so much about Maui and Kauai and so those were the ones we settled on visiting.
Deciding What to Book First
I have been getting super antsy and excited about booking our accommodations (there are so many good ones on Maui and Kauai!), but ultimately I realized I needed to book our flights before anything else and I'm glad I did! I found a great fare and our flights were completely free with all the credit card points I've racked up. I also booked our first three nights at a resort in Wailea (a town on Maui) that I am super excited about. I have a few more accommodations, plus our car rentals, to book and then we'll be set! Also, at the strong urging of a few people, especially my best friend Sarah, I made a reservation for Mama's Fish House on Maui! I don't want to make too many reservations or pre-set plans, but I think booking a few key things that we'd otherwise miss out on without advance reservations is worth it.
What I'm Most Looking Forward To
I'm excited for our first totally carefree, no responsibilities vacation . . . ever! Don't get me wrong, our dogs are my babies and I love them so much. But we always take them with us (hence the title of this blog), which makes vacations a lot more active because we have to be on a stricter schedule with dogs' feeding, walking, etc. This will be one of the first vacations we've really ever had time to just sleep in, spend our days with no schedule, and be super lazy and do things on a whim whenever we want. In my experience, Hawaii is a great place to have no schedule, so I'm just so excited to be lazy with Grace.
In terms of the actual islands, I think on Maui I'm most excited to drive the road to Hana and on Kauai I'm most excited to see the Na Pali coast (where a lot of iconic tropical movies were filmed like Jurassic Park). I think Hawaii will be the perfect mix of having plenty of things to do but also being on "island time" when we want to just relax and soak in the fact that we're married!
Why We Opted Against a Road Trip and Traveling with the Dogs
In this post, I talked about being torn between two potential honeymoon destinations but didn't say what they were. Well, the two things I was torn between were (1) Hawaii, which ultimately won and (2) taking a big wild road trip with the dogs, seeing Vancouver again, taking ferries to the San Juan islands off of Washington, exploring Montana, etc. To me, that second option is still SO tempting and something I hope we get to do at some point. But I decided on Hawaii because I want to prioritize relaxation and I want to focus on JUST us. A lot of our lives revolve around our dogs' schedules (in a good way) but we are the only people in our marriage--so I want to slow down and remove all distractions during our honeymoon. And while a road trip definitely puts me at peace, there's a difference between being at peace and being totally relaxed. I'm hoping Hawaii will give us both!
When We're Leaving
We are leaving on Monday morning after our wedding! I feel like the idea of being whisked away to your fabulous destination immediately following your wedding is super romantic and dreamy, but not very practical. We want to spend part of Sunday with our guests who are still in town and also have time to get organized with the dogs and not be rushed with packing and everything. We also might want to sleep in on Sunday morning and not be worrying about getting to the airport! So a Monday morning departure is perfect. With the time change, we'll be in Maui before noon! On the other end of the spectrum, I know it's also pretty common nowadays to wait a while after the wedding before honeymooning. I think that's a great choice too as it prolongs that newlywed season and gives you something to look forward to. That said, I've always dreamed about spending those first couple weeks as a married lady on my honeymoon. So it was important to me that we go right away (albeit minus one day).
Thanks so much for reading! If you have any Maui or Kauai suggestions, I'm all ears :)
This is the truth: I got the blues after we adopted Jellybean. Bad. I was crying frequently, unsure if we'd made the wrong choice by adopting him, and honestly grieving my old life with just me, Grace, and Willie. I had a constant knot in my stomach worrying how this little crying baby would ever fit into our household and whether we'd ever have peace and quiet again!
Well, here's the reality 4 months later: I LOVE Bean and while my life and schedule has been altered since bringing him home, I also can't imagine things being any different now. And the other piece of that is that yes, puppies do learn. I feel like one minute we were in the thick of house training, worrying that our home would forever smell like urine, and the next minute I looked up and realized I can't even remember the last time Bean went to the bathroom in the house. Grace has been so patient and diligent in training him. We'd never trained basic commands before (because we always adopted older dogs who already knew them), and it turns out it's SO rewarding and astonishing how puppies learn.
Having Jellybean has taught me so much about how things grow. It might sound cheesy or hyperbolic, but watching a puppy grow is pure magic. Seeing with my own eyes these past few months that puppies grow, flowers bloom, wounds heal, and winter turns to spring has been so life giving and special for me.
I wrote once that Casper taught me that all things can be redeemed. I felt so privileged to get to witness his story, from abuse and neglect (and accompanying severe aggression) to the good life in his old age. He died more at peace than I think most humans can ever hope for. But in this new season of life raising Bean, I've learned about redemption all over again, in a different way. I've learned how a new being on this earth sees things and understands them for the first time, and how what seems like an annoying crying baby at first can turn your whole world upside down with love.
The point of this post is to say this: you are not alone if you bring home a dog (or any pet) and wonder if you're regretting it! I just wanted to share my experience of post-adoption depression in the hopes that it might encourage someone who is going through it. I truly believe that for the vast majority of people, it is impossible to care for a living being and have it rely on you for sustenance and NOT fall in love with it. It's just a biological response. I'm sure there are exceptions, but give it enough time, and I really think that fears that you won't love a pet are unfounded in the end. How long? I'd honestly say it took Grace and me about a month to really love Bean. That's not to say we weren't sweet on him and didn't give him affection and take care of him during that time--of course we did. But to get to the point where I got so excited just to see him when I got home from work (in addition to Willie) and just wanted to scoop him up and kiss his snout all the time, it took a little while! I feel almost weird admitting that, but maybe it will help give someone hope who feels the same.
After talking to a few people who have adopted dogs, I realize how common this feeling is. Grace certainly had it when she first got Casper; she bonded with him quickly but wondered if she was in over her head. And it was hard to immediately love Willie, too, especially while we were grieving Casper at the same time. But I kind of think a puppy has an especially steep loving-curve, if you will. They might destroy things in your house, pee on your nice rug, bark and cry in the night, eat things that give them diarrhea, and generally be a terror. It's easy to miss your old life when things were simpler, and you could sleep in past 6:30! (at least I did). But if you fake it til you make it, I really do believe that your attachment to the dog will catch up with the dog's learning and bonding with you as well. And the good news is that the more bonded you are with the dog, the easier training becomes, because the dog already WANTS to please you. The dog loving YOU isn't always automatic, either! But a dog's love and needs are so simple that a mutual attachment and fierce love is, in my opinion and experience, all but inevitable. A month of waiting for the bond to fully take root will undoubtedly feel like a lifetime, but the years of precious memories and good times as a family are so worth it.
A snapshot of some inspiration I've gathered in my wedding planning binder
I just realized how long it's been since I wrote an update on planning our wedding! We are now just over 4 months out, and SO much has happened since I wrote my last post about planning.
I have been using a system where I wrote down EVERYTHING that has to happen by our wedding day, which was somewhat overwhelming but good, and then broke it down by month. Then when I make my monthly goals each month, I remind myself of the wedding action items that I designated to that month back when I first started planning. This has been so helpful to make me realize what needs to be prioritized each month. I also generally about once a week try to plan out one "detail" for our wedding. Examples of details include: gifts for my bridesmaids, my day-of-wedding gift to Grace, how to display seating charts, what drinks to serve at the bar, etc. Focusing on one per week is very manageable and fun!
Here's a rough list of everything we have accomplished since I last updated this blog about wedding planning:
Whew! I feel kind of tired just looking at this list. It's definitely a lot of work, but I honestly love it so much. Planning my wedding has been one of my biggest dreams my whole life, and to be in the thick of it is pretty surreal.
In case anyone is curious or in a similar season of life, here are some things I've learned over the past few months:
Catering is hands down the biggest expense. I'm sure there are some people for whom that's not the case, but for the most part, this is far and away the most expensive part of our wedding. The cost was kind of shocking at first, but once you think about the fact that you're feeding 200 people a nice meal, it's not as surprising. I have heard that the food is also one place you really shouldn't skimp, because it's something people will remember about your wedding. We ended up contacting 3 different caterers and while they were all similar in costs, what made us pick the caterer we did was the creativity they displayed. With roughly the same amount of money as the other caterers, they wrote a specially customized proposal for us with fun infused waters and juices for when our guests arrive on a hot day, s'mores toasted to order for the evening, and a ridiculously delicious tasting with fun and interesting items, not your standard protein, vegetable, and dinner roll situation. I don't want to give away our whole menu because I love the idea of surprising our guests with fun details, but I will do a whole post on food after our wedding is over!
One other note on catering: we found that a good way to save money is to have the dinner be buffet style rather than plated. While plated is more elegant, our wedding is going to be an al fresco summertime celebration, so a buffet seemed to fit (whereas an elegant ballroom wedding might feel weird with a buffet). At least for the caterers we spoke with, having a buffet rather than plated saved literally THOUSANDS of dollars.
Send lots of pictures for inspiration when talking with vendors. We found our florist through our caterer, as they often work together. When we started talking with her, we sent tons of pictures of what we had in mind (let's be real--what I had in mind. Believe it or not, Grace does not have a scrapbook of dream floral designs hidden under her bed, haha!). I think this helped so much because from the minute we got a first draft of a proposal from our florist, it was exactly on point with what we wanted.
This one is a screenshot from our florist's own Instagram--I sent it to her to show what I already liked from her work and would love for her to recreate for us.
Just like how if you have a particular hairstyle in mind, it's a good idea to bring your hair dresser photos to show what you want, you should show your vendors tons of photos of your style and vision. A talented vendor will be able to incorporate this with their own style, not just do straight copies of what you send them. This is also why it's a good idea to screenshot some favorites from the vendor's Instagram, etc., to show what in particular draws you to THEIR work and what kinds of things you would like to see at your own wedding.
Your fiancee will probably surprise you with what they care about. Don't get me wrong, Grace reminds me every day that she is very excited to finally be married. But out of the two of us, I'm the one making day-to-day wedding decisions and the one who has strong feelings about flowers and details like that. But every now and then, Grace surprises me with something she randomly cares about! For example, I was looking at mock-ups of invitations and liked both of the below (spoiler: neither of these are our invitations, as I'll explain):
Sorry for the grainy quality; these are just pics I took of my computer screen. Anyway, Grace vetoed both of these because she was not a fan of the calligraphy/brush lettering. We ended up going with a very classic invitation instead that I am in LOVE with, and ultimately I'm happy Grace spoke her mind. But that said, it was just surprising and funny that she had a strong opinion about this. If you're in the boat of the person who is taking the lead on planning, I think it's helpful to defer to your fiancee when they pipe up with opinions, especially if it's rare that they have a strong one.
Honeymoon planning is the perfect antidote to any stress over wedding planning. I'm happy to say that I have not been very stressed throughout the wedding planning process. But sometimes it can get a tad overwhelming or my eyes just get tired of looking at countless different options for things. I have found that planning our honeymoon is the perfect solution for that stress! Even though the two are highly linked, planning our honeymoon is a totally different thing for me mentally. There's also a lot less to plan (which is almost ironic, because we'll be on our honeymoon for two weeks whereas our wedding is just one day. Ha!). Now that I have our flights booked, I'm so excited to book accommodations and make a handful of reservations for things little by little like I did for our Alaska trip.
Don't assume that people (especially your wedding party) don't want to help out and celebrate with you. Since I have not had many close friends get married yet, sometimes I feel like I'm kind of navigating in the dark in terms of what's appropriate to ask of guests, wedding party, etc. I am super self-conscious about expecting people to spend money participating in our wedding. The thought of asking our bridesmaids to buy expensive dresses makes me cringe, and I wanted to do an East and a West Coast bachelorette so that people wouldn't have to travel too far depending on which coast they live on. All of that being said, I think it's good to remember that these are your best friends and they WANT to be part of your wedding day! I was so self conscious about one of my besties flying down for my bachelorette and also flying for our wedding that she snapped me back to reality and reminded me: "why wouldn't I come to your bachelorette??" So that's been a good learning lesson. I still am erring on the side of trying to be conscientious about other people's schedules and budgets, but I think it is possible to err TOO far on that side.
Case in point of super thoughtful, and willing to help, bridesmaids: one of the gals in our bridal party (on Grace's side) lives in Canada and wanted to order her dress from a company that does easy shipping there, and so she mailed me fabric swatches so I could see them in person before she ordered! We have the best bridesmaids :) And bridesmen. Or brides butlers as I call them.
Registering for gifts is fun but honestly VERY tiring! Not to sound ungrateful in any way--people's generosity with our wedding gifts blows my mind and we've already received a bunch--but just something to factor in if you're going to make a registry! We registered first at Crate & Barrel and we had to take a coffee break in between and then a few times of plopping down on couches in the store and resting. I laughed when after 2 hours, I looked at our list and we'd only registered for 40 items. (Not that 40 gifts isn't a huge luxury to receive, but I want people to have a bunch of options and price points when they look at our registry, so 40 is a bit low for 200 guests!!). We ended up doing our other two registries--at Bed Bath & Beyond and Anthropologie--online. And by we I mean me. It's fun to have the scanner and walk through the store and check everything out, but it's truly exhausting so that's why we opted to build them online for the second two.
Speaking of gifts, one of my oldest and best friends sent this as a surprise engagement gift recently--I can't even believe how thoughtful and special!
That's about all I can think of right now with wedding planning! We are very excited to go back to our venue in a couple of weeks with my mom when she visits. I have a feeling April, May, June, and July are going to FLY by. And then it's time to get married!
This past weekend I got two very exciting emails--our dogs' DNA results came in! A few weeks ago I DNA tested everyone in the house, as you can see from the kits in the photos above. Grace and I did the 23andMe human DNA ancestry kits, and I got the Wisdom Panel kits for the dogs.
I'd originally planned to do a blog post about all of our DNA results once everything came back, but I'm too impatient to wait for ours! Full disclosure, we got the 23andMe kits as a free gift for attending an event; I probably would not have paid any money to find out that we're both European (which I'm sure is what our results will say). However, I would and did gladly spent too much money on finding out about the dogs' breeds, and the results were really interesting. I decided to just go ahead and post the dogs' results because it's going to be another month or so until our 23andMe results come in. I'll probably update on Insta stories but don't think it's worth a blog post for the scintillating and never before predicted information that Grace's and my ancestors migrated from the British Isles, ha!
Okay so here's a little bit about my process of choosing the kit. There are TONS of dog DNA kits out there, and not all are created equal (apparently). I have no affiliation with Wisdom Panel but I'm going to describe why I chose to buy it and my experience in case anyone out there is trying to decide which test to get. I based my decision to buy the Wisdom Panel off reading consumer reports online and Amazon reviews. I have heard that with some DNA tests you have to send a picture of your dog or a description, which seems suspicious. We did not do that with Wisdom Panel; all they ask is for the cheek swab samples (which you mail back in a pre-paid box) and your dog's name and approximate age. So they have no way of determining the dog's breed based on a photo or description. Also, a big factor in choosing Wisdom Panel was reading about the consumer report tests where multiple samples from the same dog were sent in, using different names and contact information, and the results came back identical, down to every percentage. In other words, they're not just randomly assigning breeds; there has to be a method to the madness because samples from the same dog came back consistent (if that makes sense). Finally, I was further reassured that I'd chosen the best test when our veterinarian--who I trust with my dogs' lives--said that Wisdom Panel is the best test out there, and it's the one they recommend and use for their own pets.
BUT: all of that being said, I'm a little skeptical of our dogs' results. I don't think that Wisdom Panel makes up any results or is bogus, but I think the level of technology and science they're using might be a little bit basic or less advanced than say, the 23andMe analysis for humans. Which is fair; they're dogs. Anyway, here's the actual part you're probably interested in: what kinds of dogs Willie and Jellybean are.
Willie Nelson
Willie's results were the most surprising to me. They said that he is a 100% purebred American Staffordshire Terrier. This is very surprising to me because I have never seen a dog in my life that looks quite like Willie! I mean, those ears! He's just not what I picture with an American Staffordshire--his snout is longer and darker at the tip, and his ears are WILD. Everyone comments on how pointy and huge they are. They stand up all the time; they are rigid and not floppy at all. For reference, here's a google images photo of an American Staffordshire:
Sure, I can see that Willie is related to this type of dog, but 100% purebred? I find it hard to believe. However, they sent us extensive results and said that he passed on a "purebred" test on every level. They even sent us a certificate of authentication. I feel like if a DNA test was going to make something up, they would make up a random mutt combination, not that a dog is 100% purebred. That said, Willie just does NOT fit the physical characteristics. I'm still puzzling over it! Here are some screenshots of our results for Willie:
These are all of the tests they do to determine if a dog is a "purebred." According to the website, they run each of these tests independently, and if even one is a "fail," they the dog is not purebred. Willie passed all of them.
They also give you some info about sensitivity to medicines (thankfully, both of our dogs came back normal), and weight range. Willie is right in the middle at 61 pounds.
So there you have it. I still think Willie is not a purebred dog of any kind, but on another note, the concept of "purebred" dogs is a weird one and not something I'm really interested in promoting. Dog breeds were invented by humans, mostly in the past 200 years. There are some "ancient" breeds (like Chihuahuas and some Mastiffs, for example), but beyond that, most dog breeds have become what they are today relatively recently. So therefore, the concept of a breed being "pure" is based on standards set by people not nature--and SO much research shows that purebred dogs can have a lot of health problems due to being inbred (not always, but it's important to be aware that purebreeds are not inherently better/healthier than mixed breeds--often the opposite is true). Just putting that out there. I'm often surprised how many misconceptions are out there about dog breeds.
Onto the next one!
Jellybean
Before the test results came in, Grace and I were joking that Jellybean's results would come back as part rabbit or chicken or other little creature (obviously they don't test for those). He's just such a funny little bunny rabbit of a dog! His results were also kind of surprising, but he is in no way a purebred dog. According to Wisdom Panel, Jellybean is 50% Chihuahua (not surprising), and has one great-grandparent who was a Pomeranian, another great-grandparent who was a Pekingese, and the other quarter of his ancestry is a general mixed terrier breed. For reference, here are some google images photos of the three specific breeds he's mixed with:
Chihuahua
Pekingese
Pomeranian
Weird, right? Jellybean has shorter hair than pretty much all of these dogs, and is most similar to a Chihuahua. But, according to the test, a quarter of his DNA is from a Pekingese/Pomeranian combo. The other quarter was just a general terrier mix, which was mixed beyond several generations (meaning that mixed breeds had puppies with other mixed breeds for several generations, making it too difficult to determine DNA beyond general terrier mix). The vet's thinking is that Jellybean has some type of pit bull mix in him, which I've had people stop me on the street and say as well--that he looks like a teacup pit bull (Grace made a joke about this once but I've literally had strangers say this to me, so funny!). So that "terrier mix" could be pit bull terrier--obviously of the pocket or miniature variety. I think there could be some Jack Russell terrier in there too. But, the DNA is too jumbled to know for sure. Here's some more specifics of Jellybean's results:
What's probably the most surprising about Jellbean's results? That there's 0% Dachshund. I think that's one of the most common breeds people guessed when looking at Jellybean, so it will probably be surprising that he is not a Dachshund at all! I think his long body comes from being part Pekingese, which is also a long dog. Also, I think Jellybean's weight profile is telling, because he's not yet a year old and he's already a bit over 11 pounds. To me, this suggests that the 25% generic "terrier" mix includes something larger, and helps explain why our vet thinks (based on his physical exam of Jellybean's legs, especially), that Jellybean has some type of pit bull mix in his ancestry. He's a unique guy. I kind of love that I've never really seen a dog that looked quite like either of our boys--there's no one else quite like them! That said, both of them must have siblings somewhere out there. It would be so cool to run into a twin of either of them some day.
If you are considering a DNA test for your dog, I highly recommend it! It's very interesting and felt like Christmas morning to get the emails in my inbox. But no matter what the results would have been, of course it wouldn't change how I feel about the pups. It's just for fun!
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It's super blown out and fuzzy, but the little Polaroid on the left captures me, Grace, Bean, Willie, and even Willie's lambie, and I love it so much.
Hello March! Ahh, the start of spring (in a couple more weeks). I'm a spring and summer girl through and through . . . the way the Internet seems to feel about pumpkin spice lattes, fall foliage, and chunky knit sweaters is how I feel about tulips, Easter, springtime weather, and being able to wear summer clothes (just kidding I live in LA so I can wear them all the time). Spring just lifts my spirits and makes me feel so HAPPY! I've always had a touch (and sometimes, more than a touch) of SAD, and so when it's springtime I get a burst of euphoria along with the longer days and more pleasant temperatures.
March also marks only 5 months until our wedding. I cannot believe it! I'm really proud of all that we've accomplished so far with planning, and I am so excited for everything that will come together this month!
I got a lot done in February, but honestly, it was a rough month for our little home! Grace and I have been sick for over two weeks. I keep thinking I'm better, but I'm STILL sniffling and coughing. It was really a brutal illness--I missed almost a week of work, something I've never done in my life for being sick. Even one of our dogs is sick (unrelatedly). I felt like I was really good about blogging during the first half of the month, but I kind of fell off the map once we were both under the weather.
I'm very excited for what I hope will be a healthier month. I'm also excited about the fact that we have zero travel planned this month! That will not be the case in April, which is exciting, but a month at home sounds sooo nice.
Here's how I did on my February goals:
And here are my goals for March:
And there are a few other little goals in my journal that I'm keeping private because they involve surprises :) My favorite!
I hope your month is off to a great start!
Hi friends! Let me start by saying that Grace and I are ALMOST finally over our terrible cold/flu virus that knocked us off our feet. I was juggling work while feeling dazed, achey, and in a fog, and sadly found no time for HDWD. I'm excited to be back!
If you've been reading Have Dog, Will Drive for any length of time, you've probably noticed that posting my monthly goals is one thing I always do without fail, even if it ends up being a couple of days after the 1st of the month. Going back a few years ago, I didn't set monthly goals at all! I'm not sure exactly when the switch was flipped, but now I'd feel totally lost without those guideposts each month. These days I don't have a ton of free time, so knowing how to prioritize the gaps in my schedule to make progress about what matters is crucial.
A few months after I started setting monthly goals, I started seeing this concept called 101 in 1001 on blogs. It's a concept where you set 101 goals (some big, some small, some serious, some not-so-serious) to be completed over a period of 1001 days. 1001 days works out to be just about 2.75 years. It's a nice length because you can set goals that mean a lot to you and that you need more than just a year to accomplish, but it's not too long to keep up with. You can find a few other blogs that define the concept and share their lists here, here, here, here, and here.
I started my 101 in 1001 list on September 4, 2015, and my completion date is June 1, 2018. I keep all of my 101 goals written down in the notebook pictured above, and I write a little description once I check off each one! Now that I'm just a few months from the end, I can see that there are some I won't complete, but that's kind of the beauty of 101 in 1001. It's a snapshot of what mattered to me in summer 2015, and I can see everything that's changed since then. Some things have become more important, and others have become less.
If you are considering doing 101 in 1001, I have absolutely loved it as a personal goal setting tool. Now that my timeline is almost up, I'm thinking about doing a "90 before 30" as my next one. It's basically the same concept, but it's slightly fewer goals and it's focused on a time period before a certain age. This could totally be adapted to any age (i.e., 50 before 50, etc.), but my 101 in 1001 ending coincides almost perfectly with my 27th birthday, so 90 before 30 seemed like a good fit. I'll update here if/when I make a new list. Without further ado, here's my list and the progress I've made so far (some goals that are private or aren't fully "my story" to tell, I just labeled "private"):
1. Make an "art teacher" necklace (here's the inspiration for that)--completed 2/19/16. I actually ended up having a craft night at my apartment with my law school friends and we all made them! So fun.
2. Paint or wallpaper a wall--not yet
3. Try hair extensions--nope. I don't think this one is going to happen. My hair is already long enough! (But it wasn't when I set this goal. I just ended up going au naturale on this one, I guess)
4. Personal
5. Take a big family trip with my immediately family--not really, but we've had plenty of good times all together :)
6. Visit Yosemite--yes. You can read my post on visiting Yosemite with a dog here.
7. Take a calligraphy glass--not yet. This is one I could totally do before June, though!
8. Surprise Grace with a weekend getaway--yes! You can read about our surprise Pismo Beach getaway here.
9. Personal
10. Keep a recipe journal/book separate from my other journals--yes! Need to update more frequently though.
11. Send a handwritten note to a friend at least once a month--this is one that has changed my whole outlook on life! There was a period of time where I sent a card at least once a week. I've trailed off lately, but I'm a snail mail person for life now. It's one of my favorite things ever.
12. Join my first gym by myself (separate from parents'/school membership)--no, and my priorities have shifted. Not interested in gyms right now!
13. Surprise my family on the East Coast--no, but I have gotten to see them a ton!
14. Print an Artifact Uprising at least every six months for significant life events--not that often, but I've made several!
15. Perfect some kind of seemingly-complicated hairstyle--sort of . . . I have experimented with braid crowns and overnight curls and it's gone decently well. Not a huge priority anymore!
16. Decorate an office with a bulletin/inspiration board and plants--not yet; I should totally do that in my office now
17. Plant something edible and watch it grow--sadly no, not yet!
18. Call or write a letter to my grandmother at least once a month--I've been pretty good at this!
19. Turn this 101 in 1001 list into something printed that I can write in and keep forever--yep! The journal pictured at the top of this post
20. Take a fun bar trip--YES! I went to Barcelona, Ibiza, Sardinia, Santorini, and Athens with some of my closest friends from law school in the summer of 2016 after I took the California Bar Exam
21. Pass the California Bar Exam--yes, November 18, 2018. Biggest relief ever
22. Graduate from Berkeley Law--yep! May 13, 2016
23. Reach out to someone I admire but don't know personally--yes. I reached out to some bloggers I admire when I first started thinking about blogging, and I got the sweetest and most helpful responses.
24. Go to N/Naka with Grace--not yet! Maybe this spring!
25. Spend time with Grace's parents and have Grace spend time with my parents at least once a year--yes :) Last year, Grace even spent time with my family WITHOUT me there when she went to North Carolina to ask their blessing to ask me to marry her
26. Register to vote in California--yes
27. Vote in the 2016 presidential election and in state elections--yes
28. Personal
29. Take a cooking class with Grace--no. I've done this without her, whoops!
30. Take a flower arranging class--not yet
31. Buy a car--decided to lease instead (and so happy I did)
32. Find a good multivitamin and take it every day for a month+--not consistently. It's hard for me to care about this for some reason :(
33. Be a bridesmaid--still no! Get married, friends!
34. Get a massage--yes, many times, including last weekend. So needed
35. Take a trip by train--yes, Grace and I took a train from Brussels to London and back in spring 2016
36. Start wearing my retainer regularly--I don't even know where mine is anymore, if that tells you anything. Sorry teeth
37. Come up with monthly goals on the first day of each month and write them down--yes, obviously!
38. Buy a tent with Grace--we keep getting gifted/loaned tents very sweetly! So we have not technically bought one together
39. Print and frame photos for family & Grace--yes, I have so many printed photos and love it. I'm such a believer in printing your photos and not letting them just live on your phone/Instagram
40. Personal
41. Make pickles, including something other than cucumber--I've made cucumber pickles, but not something else. Need to do that!
42. Visit 5 new US States--done! 6 actually so far. Washington, Arizona, Nevada, Idaho, Montana, and Alaska
43. Get into a habit of taking two rest days a week from social media--I haven't been as good about this lately, but I used to be. Need to get back into it. I think it's good and refreshing to do this
44. Read 10 books (not for school/work)--yes, more than 10 actually (looking back that was a pretty low number)
45. Get my first Christmas tree of my own--not yet. I decided I want my first Christmas tree to be my first married Christmas :)
46. See a movie at a drive-in with Grace--not yet
47. Go skiing--yes, in Tahoe with law school friends!
48. Personal
49. Purge closet once every six months--I've done this a couple of times, but I haven't nearly as much as I should
50. Try a capsule wardrobe for 3 months--I've done capsule wardrobes for trips, including for our Alaska trip. But I don't think it's a priority anymore for me to do it for 3 months.
51. Organize photos on my laptop and back them up--I use an external hard drive now but could still be wayyy more organized with photos!
52. Through a surprise party--yes!! See my how-to here
53. Leave a 100% tip for a server who you want to feel appreciated--yes, just the other night actually! We ate at Jones and one of our best friends Sara was our server :)
54. Send flowers to a friend or family member--I sent flowers to a friend recently for her birthday, but I don't think this counts--I want to just send some out of the blue, just because!
55. Attend a conference for personal interests--not yet but want to
56. Find a classic, signature, grown-up perfume--not yet
57. Visit Elon--not yet but Grace's cousin is now a student there, so we need to go see him!
58. Visit Antarctica--nope!! Haha. To be fair I still really want to do this, but this was a bold one.
59. Put stacks of printed photos around the house--yes, love it. My favorite is when people thumb through them and ask if they can keep ones of people they know. I always say yes!
60. Get my own credit card--yes, finally (I feel like this may be shocking to some but I operated on cash for years, and it really helped me save a TON and never go into debt in my whole life. Now I have one, just for purposes of points to use on our honeymoon flights)
61. See all of my mom's siblings and their families together in one place--yes, Thanksgiving 2017. And it was the sweetest.
62. Personal (this one is about pulling off a surprise that I still haven't done, so I can't share it!)
63. Take a vacation with my best friend Anna--not really, though we've visited each other a bunch. Needs to happen!
64. Spend a weekend with Sarah Rose and Allie (my oldest friends from growing up)--not yet! Not all three together, at least.
65. Personal
66. Bring baked goods to someone who needs a pick me up--yes, pumpkin bread :)
67. Make a list of 101 positive things about myself--yes, in May 2017. It took a couple of weeks to think of 101 different things, but really good for the soul!
68. Buy flowers for myself just because--yes, several times!
69. Get a cute filing cabinet to have at home and organize important personal papers--no, and could really use it
70. Make a home office wherever I live after law school--yes and no; we have an office in our house (which is a huge luxury and we love it!), but it's really Grace's office and not mine. Haha! She works from home whereas I have my own office downtown, so it makes sense. I'm typing this from our kitchen table right now.
71. Go apple picking, strawberry picking, or to a pumpkin patch with Grace--yes, plus going to Christmas Tree farms! Though only for wreaths and mistletoe, see #45 above
72. Make or buy earthquake kits to keep in my house and car--no, and obviously should
73. Make personal calling cards/business cards--no, and I probably won't do this one. I have business cards for my job and probably wouldn't use personal ones
74. Personal
75. Make creme brulee from scratch with Grace--not yet. Funny story, "creme brulee" was our code word for years when we were just dating and didn't talk openly about marriage because we weren't in the right season yet. One time we were on a date to a creme brulee shop in San Francisco, and somehow "the future" came up, and Grace just said, "I LOVE creme brulee and I feel the same about a potential next step, in a couple years . . ." and ever since we would say "creme brulee" instead of the M word. Haha! So long story short, we really need to try making it ourselves so this can come full circle!
76. Send "survival packages" to my friends taking the bar exam alongside me in summer 2016--yep! I think they liked them a lot. I included fun scented highlighters, gum, encouraging cards, relaxing tea, and airplane bottles of vodka.
77. Personal
78. Cook lobster or crab myself--no, and honestly I'm scared and don't really want to!
79. Bake muffins from scratch on a lazy morning--nope, need to get a muffin tin
80. Invest in a new pair of sunglasses in a shape other than aviators (my longtime shape of choice)--yes, I treated myself to some cat-eye sunnies but that was a couple of years ago now and they broke recently!
81. Buy a bar cart--no, but our house has a built-in bar area which is even better :)
82. Stock a bar car--stocked our built-in bar
83. Host a slumber party--not yet. Maybe for my bachelorette!
84. Come up with an organizational system for my card collection, washi tape, gifts, small ribbons, etc.--sort of-it could definitely be tamed, but my ridiculously large collection is somewhat organized at the moment
85. Make a coffee cart as a gift for Grace--yes, as a surprise for her 26th bday! I got a eucalyptus wood rolling cart and stocked it with a coffee maker, tons of beans, syrups, a grinder, and other items. Probably my best gift to her ever.
86. Find and move into an LA apartment--moved in, and moved out! I loved my first little place in West Hollywood--looking back, my last "bachelorette pad"!
87. Put away $__ [personal] for a honeymoon fund--yes
88. Do some kind of public speaking--not really
89. Drive across the US--not yet, but drove across Canada to Alaska in September 2017!
90. Try making butter, jam, and biscuits from scratch--not yet. Grace recently saw this when she was thumbing through my 101 in 1001 notebook and said this is the one I need to do next, ha!
91. Come up with my own pimiento cheese recipe similar to Mrs. McNair's (my neighbor growing up who had the BEST pimento cheese recipe)--yes, slowly but surely I have developed my own recipe (or rather, method) and it's seriously good. If you don't know what this one is about at all, it's a Southern thing.
92. Take a Northern California road trip with Grace--we drove through on our way back from Alaska, but I'd love to do a dedicated NorCal road trip
93. Spend a day getting lost in a new city without any particular plan and take it in--a few times actually! NYC (not new to me, but I was in a new area), Seattle, and Barcelona
94. Make my own fruit infused waters--no, but sounds great; I still should!
95. Write the story of Casper--yes, many times over. For Christmas, Grace and I usually do gifts of no monetary value for each other to focus on the meaning of the holiday. One year, I wrote out in a journal the whole story of how we got Casper, plus a little made-up story about his life before us (reimagined to not be so horrible). I've also written about Casper's life and passing on this blog.
96. Get scuba certified with Grace and go scuba diving--no, not sure if it's still a priority
97. Buy a set of signature, personalized stationary--was gifted two beautiful sets by my parents for Christmas one year! It's about time to do this one again, since I'll be changing my name after I get married!
98. Find some way to better organize jewelry, especially necklaces, and display it beautifully--not really
99. Invest in a quality foundation that is the perfect skin color for me--would love to switch to more a more natural foundation, I'm sure mine is filled with parabens and other toxins
100. Find a great one-piece bathing suit--no. Investing in one for our honeymoon for sure!
101. Watch the sunrise and sunset intentionally in a single day--not in the way that I'd like. We saw the sun rise and set almost every day on our Alaska trip, but it was often from the car. I want to sit and reflect and give thanks while watching the sunrise and sunset in the same day very intentionally, so I haven't crossed this one off yet!
I also keep some space in the back of my 101 in 1001 notebook to write down things that I'm very proud of and in retrospect could have been a 101 in 1001 goal, but weren't. Here are some of the ones I have written down:
If you've done a 101 in 1001 list, I'd LOVE to hear about it! These are some of my favorite goals to read about. Hope you enjoyed mine.
The topic of this post is something that's been percolating in my mind for a while. In short, it's that I've kind of gone through a few mental stages in the process of adopting and falling in love with our puppy Jellybean. I adore him, even through his strange puppy ways, even when he has diarrhea, and yes, even though he's probably not going to get much bigger than 11 or 12 pounds! To some, that last one might not raise any eyebrows. But I'll be honest and say that I was a little worried at first when I realized that we'd adopted a small dog. Today I want to share some thoughts on that journey and talk about the Small Dog Love that I've come to embrace!
I've always had and loved big dogs. Growing up, my family had a dog named Jack. Jack was a mixed breed that looked something like a huge long-legged yellow lab. We think he was a mix between a doberman, Great Dane, lab, and maybe some other large breeds in there too. He weighed 110 pounds, all muscle, and he was tall enough to eat off of a table. He was such a good family dog, and he's what "made sense" to me as a dog when I was a kid. The concept that a dog might be only 10 pounds didn't really cross my mind.
When Jack died (when I was in college), my family adopted an American bulldog mix named Huckleberry Finn (Huck for short). He's about 80 pounds and a short and stout barrel of a dog. He's always had a ton of energy and he fit perfectly into our family. He also jumpstarted my love of pit mixes.
A few years later when Grace and I adopted Casper, it felt natural to both of us to get a big hunk of a dog. At 80 pounds and MEATY, Casper felt perfect to us. He was the best snuggle buddy. When he died last summer, we adopted Willie, and at 60 pounds we even joked that he was too small for us! But it was obvious that Willie was also meant to be part of our family.
Then came Jellybean. We knew we wanted a second dog, and I've told the story on this blog about how we ended up with little Bean. But honestly, we thought he'd get a lot bigger! Now we've had him for about 10 weeks, and he's maybe grown 1-2 pounds. It looks like he's more or less at his adult weight now, and he's TINY! I can't even believe how small he is sometimes. He's one of the smaller dogs I've ever spent time with. When we go to puppy playtime on the weekends, he's consistently the smallest dog there.
If you're a small dog person, you might be wondering what the big deal is! But if you're a big dog person, you probably know what I mean. It's easy to think of small dogs as almost a different type of creature. When we were at the vet the other day, a gorgeous Burmese Mountain Dog walked in, and Grace mentioned that it was hard to believe that he and Bean are the same species. It's true that small dogs are a different sort of pet. But, I also think there are some unfair stereotypes of small dogs. I even believed some of them myself.
I think part of the problem is that I lived in an apartment building (before Grace and I moved into our house) where one of my neighbors had the most annoying chihuahua on earth. I feel bad saying that, because it's just an animal, but this owner was really irresponsible and the chihuahua would terrorize everyone in the building with howling and yapping constantly. Even before that, I kind of thought of small dogs as being annoying, loud, or just not as fun.
I realize now how wrong I was, and how I was closing myself off to a whole range of sweet animals that make amazing pets! My thoughts on the subject were really unfair and based in almost nothing. Now, having come to love a small dog, I see so many amazing, fun things about their size. It's not that I'm now saying small dogs are better than big dogs, or vice versa. By why close yourself off to either? At least, that's the conclusion I've come to :)
I think it's easy to characterize yourself or others as a "big dog person," a "small dog person," "a cat person," "a rabbit person" or whatever. There's totally judgments and assumptions about which one you are, and also potentially the feeling that you shouldn't stray from what you know. After we got Bean, I felt very insecure about people who probably mostly meant well making comments about it "not being us" to get a small dog. Anytime you get a new pet, there's a feeling of potential panic and questioning yourself (something I plan to write a separate post about soon), so it kind of hurt to hear anyone doubt whether having a small dog was a good thing. But that was probably because it reflected my own thinking, sadly! Now, I've come full circle and think it's so much fun to have a little stuffed animal of a dog. Here are a few more reasons why I have a case of Small Dog Love:
And I'm sure there are a million more reasons that I will come to discover as time goes on with Bean! I just wanted to share my thoughts on this in case you've ever, like me, doubted if small dogs were "as good" as big dogs. I'm here to tell you that they're awesome in their own right! I want to better my thinking on pets in general, and realize that animals are amazing companions across the board. I'm sure I've totally judged someone for having a "weird" pet, but I really shouldn't. Even though having a ferret might not be my cup of tea, I'm sure it makes someone's day to play with theirs. I just want to be more accepting on this front in general.
Here are a few more pics of my favorite small dog, Bean Baldridge!
I'm back with another wedding-related post! Now that we are in the full swing of planning for our wedding, I've realized how hard it is to blog about it because I want things to be fresh and fun and surprising for our guests! For example, we had our catering tasting a couple of weeks ago, and I took photos of everything so I could blog about it . . . but then realized I want to make sure our food is a surprise :) And of course I took a ton of photos of wedding dress shopping, but that has to stay a surprise too! So, I think I'll be doing a ton of planning recaps in late summer/early fall once we're married and back from our honeymoon!
But one thing I realized I could already blog about is how I asked my sweet bridesmaids to stand beside me on my wedding day. I sent out care packages to everyone in October, so they've all long ago received them and happily accepted my "proposal." I wanted to write this post as a quick inspiration for anyone looking for a relatively simple way to do something sweet for your besties who are going to be in your wedding! This one is also a good option if your friends don't live in your city.
Let me back up and say that Grace and I are having a BIG wedding party. We each have 10 people on our side. I'm sure some people will roll their eyes and say that's excessive, but here's the thing: each of these people are INCREDIBLY important to us, and we can't imagine not having them in our wedding. Plus, I've wanted to incorporate Southern traditions into our wedding where possible, and having a large group of bridesmaids is super Southern. I've regularly seen weddings in the South with 15 or more maids, so don't hate me, haha!
Grace and I handled inviting our 10 to stand beside us separately. A lot of Grace's people live overseas, so she went with a simple heartfelt handwritten note, which I thought was so classic and sweet. It also would have been too expensive to mail care packages to different countries like I did with my people (who all live in the US).
When thinking about how to ask the people on my side, I knew I wanted to send something fun in the mail. I love the idea of having a lunch or cocktail party and inviting your bridesmaids to ask them all together as a surprise (I love this styled shoot inspiration on that idea), but the problem is that my bridesmaids live in 6 different states. My wedding will pretty much be the only time they'll all be in the same place, so having a party with all of them was out.
I thought about what the people in my bridal party would find special, and I decided to curate little care packages for each of them. I went to stores like Anthropologie, Paper Source, and Dylan's Candy Bar to find cute trinkets and candies that I thought would make them smile. I also ordered customized scratch-off cards with each girl's name from this Etsy shop (shown in the photo above). The gold hearts on the cards scratched off with a penny to reveal the words "Will You Be My Bridesmaid?" or in my sister's case, "Will You Be My Maid of Honor?" I thought the scratch-off element was so fun and added a bit of surprise even though I couldn't surprise people in person.
Speaking of the cards, if you notice that there are only 9, the reason is because my brother is my bride's butler! When we were little, I always knew Blair would be in my wedding, and my sister came up with the name "bride's butler" as the boy version of bridesmaid. (Get it, maids and butlers?) Of course, boys can be bridesmaids, too, but I've always thought that bride's butler is super cute and that's just what I'm calling him! I didn't do a personalized card for him, but I'm finding special ways to incorporate him into my day.
Anyway, I had so much fun shopping over a few days and finding cute things that each girl would love. Here's a picture of a few of them:
Once I had all the gifts, I picked a handful of items to put in each care package, and I slipped the personalized cards in too. In each card I wrote a letter talking about all that their friendship meant to me, and why I wanted them to stand beside me in my bridal party. I also included a penny in each envelope so they could scratch off the message and not have to hunt for pocket change!
I bought some boxes and bubble wrap and assembled everything myself. Then Grace sweetly helped me carry it all into the post office to send around the country. I was honestly expecting to spend easily $200 on shipping all of this, but I was very pleasantly surprised that the total for all the care packages--going to Oregon, DC, New York, North and South Carolina, etc.--was only $62. I used the most basic option at USPS and they all arrived within about a week. I also did give a couple of the care packages in person to my in-town friends.
Next came the best part: waiting patiently for the boxes to arrive so I could get excited texts and phone calls from everyone! That was my favorite part of the whole process. I am happy to say that it's been so fun planning with everyone. I have the best friends in the world, and they've all been amazing with picking out bridesmaid's dresses and just generally being SO supportive.
One last note about choosing who to ask to be in my bridal party: that was really tough. Grace and I both struggled to narrow down our groups (we could have easily gone to 15+ each . . .) but ultimately we thought about various phases in our lives and chose significant people from those. For me, I asked: my 2 siblings, my 2 oldest best friends from growing up (who I've known even longer than my own sister), 2 best friends that I lived with in college and 2 other best friends from college (both of whom played a role in me and Grace starting to date), and 2 LA-based friends from Elon as well. I decided to keep the group to people I had met through Elon or earlier. So even though I have amazing friends from law school, working, and other aspects of my life, I kept it to those groups of people in order to keep the size reasonably manageable. I know some people just do their sister and one best friend, and that's awesome too! And many people choose not to have a wedding party, which is another option. One thing I've learned from wedding planning is just to scrap any traditions that you don't particularly care for. For me, though, asking my best friends to be part of my wedding was one of the things I was most looking forward to about being engaged. If you're in the same boat, I hope this post provides some inspiration for how you can ask them in a special way! More to come soon on wedding stuff.