Deciding Where to Go for Our Honeymoon!

I am so excited that we will be spending a couple of weeks in the great state of HAWAII for our honeymoon! I have been to Hawaii with my family and absolutely love it there, but I've only been to the islands of Oahu and Hawaii (known as "the Big Island"). Grace has never been. We will be spending half of our time on Maui and the other half on Kauai. Today I want to share a little bit about how we chose this destination and our process for planning so far. Once we've actually planned out the trip a bit more, I'll do a post about planning the trip, similar to my planning for Alaska post. This one is more just about how we decided where to go for our honeymoon :)

How We Decided Where To Go

First of all, Grace is an angel and would have let me pick literally anywhere in the world I wanted for our honeymoon. I thought about the following: Santorini (I went two summers ago and it's unreal beautiful); an Africa tour (one of my other all-time favorite travel destinations; I've spent time in Zambia and Botswana and would love to go with Grace to South Africa, Madagascar, and the Seychelles); OR a big US road trip where we could bring the dogs and take ferries to places like the San Juan islands off of Washington.

So why did I pick Hawaii? A few factors. First, although I love adventurous travel, I wasn't really looking for that in a honeymoon destination. I really wanted something relaxing, stress free, and easy for our honeymoon. I want to do a huge Africa trip at some point with Grace, but that's a logistically complicated trip. And as BEAUTIFUL as Santorini is, it really takes a full 24 hours to get there from California. In addition, all of those places involve a different language, different currencies, passports needed, etc. Hawaii is just incredibly easy.

• You don't need a passport (as a US citizen). We both have passports but it's one less thing to worry about and potentially lose/forget
• There are ONLY nonstop flights from California. There's literally nowhere to stop because you're just flying over the ocean! And you can get there in under 6 hours
• The time difference is minimal (3 hours from California)
• Currency, language (for the most part), etc. is all the same as the US

Again, I'm a pretty experienced traveler but just for purposes of our honeymoon, I really want something as simple as possible! Hawaii fit the bill.

One other factor is gay-friendliness. With the exception of severe cases of homophobic places (i.e., Jamaica), I try not to let this determine my travel destinations. I'm not offended if people in certain countries assume we're just friends or sisters traveling together; if we can fly under the radar and experience beautiful places on earth, I'm all for it. We live in West Hollywood so I generally assume that anytime I leave my home it will be to a place less gay friendly than where I live, haha. As a gay couple it's common to turn heads in certain places where you travel (in the Yukon Territory of Canada and some parts of Alaska, for example). But for our honeymoon? I want the red carpet rolled out, champagne upon arrival, the whole enchilada. I don't want people asking if we're friends or assuming we want two separate beds in our hotel room. Of course, that can still happen anywhere, but Hawaii is SUPER gay friendly (it's the rainbow state after all!), so it lessens the chance :)

If you saw Grace's IG stories a few weeks back, you might have seen that I made a PowerPoint going over the different options of which islands we could visit in Hawaii during our honeymoon. It's true! I am a planning nerd at heart.

Picking Which Islands to Go to in Hawaii

This part was surprisingly easy. I'd already been to Oahu and Hawaii (the Big Island), and awesome as they were, I wanted to go somewhere new that Grace and I could both experience for the first time together. The other inhabited islands in Hawaii include Maui, Kauai, Lanai, Molokai, and Nilhau. Molokai and Nilhau are very different from the rest and don't include large resorts or many amenities (you actually can't visit Nilhau without an official invitation). They probably don't have the best "honeymoon vibes," at least based on what we're looking for. Lanai is tempting, but out of the three (Maui, Kauai, and Lanai), it feels like the one I can skip for whatever reason. I've heard so much about Maui and Kauai and so those were the ones we settled on visiting.

Deciding What to Book First

I have been getting super antsy and excited about booking our accommodations (there are so many good ones on Maui and Kauai!), but ultimately I realized I needed to book our flights before anything else and I'm glad I did! I found a great fare and our flights were completely free with all the credit card points I've racked up. I also booked our first three nights at a resort in Wailea (a town on Maui) that I am super excited about. I have a few more accommodations, plus our car rentals, to book and then we'll be set! Also, at the strong urging of a few people, especially my best friend Sarah, I made a reservation for Mama's Fish House on Maui! I don't want to make too many reservations or pre-set plans, but I think booking a few key things that we'd otherwise miss out on without advance reservations is worth it.

What I'm Most Looking Forward To

I'm excited for our first totally carefree, no responsibilities vacation . . . ever! Don't get me wrong, our dogs are my babies and I love them so much. But we always take them with us (hence the title of this blog), which makes vacations a lot more active because we have to be on a stricter schedule with dogs' feeding, walking, etc. This will be one of the first vacations we've really ever had time to just sleep in, spend our days with no schedule, and be super lazy and do things on a whim whenever we want. In my experience, Hawaii is a great place to have no schedule, so I'm just so excited to be lazy with Grace. 

In terms of the actual islands, I think on Maui I'm most excited to drive the road to Hana and on Kauai I'm most excited to see the Na Pali coast (where a lot of iconic tropical movies were filmed like Jurassic Park). I think Hawaii will be the perfect mix of having plenty of things to do but also being on "island time" when we want to just relax and soak in the fact that we're married!

Why We Opted Against a Road Trip and Traveling with the Dogs

In this post, I talked about being torn between two potential honeymoon destinations but didn't say what they were. Well, the two things I was torn between were (1) Hawaii, which ultimately won and (2) taking a big wild road trip with the dogs, seeing Vancouver again, taking ferries to the San Juan islands off of Washington, exploring Montana, etc. To me, that second option is still SO tempting and something I hope we get to do at some point. But I decided on Hawaii because I want to prioritize relaxation and I want to focus on JUST us. A lot of our lives revolve around our dogs' schedules (in a good way) but we are the only people in our marriage--so I want to slow down and remove all distractions during our honeymoon. And while a road trip definitely puts me at peace, there's a difference between being at peace and being totally relaxed. I'm hoping Hawaii will give us both!

When We're Leaving

We are leaving on Monday morning after our wedding! I feel like the idea of being whisked away to your fabulous destination immediately following your wedding is super romantic and dreamy, but not very practical. We want to spend part of Sunday with our guests who are still in town and also have time to get organized with the dogs and not be rushed with packing and everything. We also might want to sleep in on Sunday morning and not be worrying about getting to the airport! So a Monday morning departure is perfect. With the time change, we'll be in Maui before noon! On the other end of the spectrum, I know it's also pretty common nowadays to wait a while after the wedding before honeymooning. I think that's a great choice too as it prolongs that newlywed season and gives you something to look forward to. That said, I've always dreamed about spending those first couple weeks as a married lady on my honeymoon. So it was important to me that we go right away (albeit minus one day). 

Thanks so much for reading! If you have any Maui or Kauai suggestions, I'm all ears :)

Initial Thoughts on Planning a Wedding

When I started this blog, I did not picture it involving wedding planning updates (also, I wasn't engaged at the time!). That said, I’ve had a few people ask me whether I’m going write them . . . So I’ve decided to! I hope you enjoy reading this series and that it is encouraging to anyone planning their wedding or dreaming about wedding planning in general. I am figuring out things as I go, so I would absolutely love to hear tips and ideas if you’ve been through this before!

The collage at the top of this post is an inspiration board I made to guide our vision for our wedding. I really recommend making one if you’re in this season. For one, it’s just a fun “task” as far as wedding stuff goes, and also, it’s really helpful to be able to send to potential vendors to give them a quick glimpse of the aesthetic we’re imagining for our day.

Also, I should note that just for the sake of keeping some things private, I’m going to share certain details until after our wedding. Specifically, I have decided not to put our exact wedding date and venue on the internet for just anyone to find, even though I love sharing in this space. So if I’m vague about some details, that’s why! But there’s a lot about the process that I can still share without giving too much away.

In the almost three months since getting engaged, we have:

• Set our wedding date and booked a venue
• Asked our wedding party (20-strong!) to stand beside us
• Booked our amazing photographer
• Booked our wedding coordinator
• Found my wedding dress (that part was just me, since Grace won’t see it until I walk down the aisle. Her attire is still TBD).
• Gathered a lot of inspiration and ideas, started making our guest list, and made a lot of decisions that we now just need to execute (i.e., music, food, florals—we haven’t booked those vendors yet, but we have a strong sense of what we want)

I posted on IG this pic I snapped at the bridal boutique the day I found my wedding dress--don't worry, none of these are "it"!

Of course, I couldn't shop for my own dress before looking through my parents' album for inspiration. Doesn't my mom look so classic?!

When I write out all that we’ve accomplished in terms of wedding planning, I feel pretty proud of us! It can feel like a never-ending sea of tasks, but I can honestly say it’s all awesome and so fun and exciting. In a season where a lot is changing and we’re both SUPER busy with work, wedding planning is such a great escape from “real life,” and not at all a burden right now. As the time gets closer I might be eating those words, but Grace is the most easygoing person to plan a wedding with. I try to take my cues from her :)

So what’s next? Finalizing a guest list and sending out save the dates is at the top of the to-do list. We still have time, but that’s one thing I’m starting to feel anxious about getting done, especially since we have so many people traveling from overseas or across the country. And, booking the other major vendors (catering, florals, a band, and probably some rentals) will happen pretty soon I hope.

Another fave from my parents' album.

To round out this update, I’m going to answer a few of the questions I have gotten the most since starting to plan our wedding:

How long of a timeline do you have?

I am so ready to marry Grace! I’ve pretty much always known that I did not want to have a long engagement. It’s totally right for some people, but for me, I wanted to make it happen as soon as possible. That timeline turned out to be about 9 and a half months from when we got back from our Alaska trip (where we got engaged). I think it would be pretty stressful to do it in a shorter timeline—plus, a lot of the best vendors get booked far in advance! So even making it happen on about a 9-10 month timeline is a little tight, but I’m so glad we’re doing it this way.

How do you find the major vendors like venue and photographer?

This is the question people have asked the most so far. What I can say is thank goodness for the internet! I found our venue from searching wedding blogs (Style Me Pretty is one of the most useful and comprehensive in my opinion) and spending a lot of time pouring over photo galleries and reviews. I knew the general area where we wanted to get married, so I zeroed in on venues in the area, and then I reached out to about 5 or 6. We planned site visits at 2 to start with, but we ended up booking on the spot at the place we did our first site visit! And just cancelled the other one. It was perfect, and we didn’t need to see any others.

We also found our photographer online and booked her after a phone consultation. I think a photographer is probably the vendor we were pickiest about, especially because Grace is not a fan of the “traditional”/super posed wedding photos, and yet I didn’t want anything too artsy or that wouldn’t look classic in 50 years. I think we found the PERFECT happy medium and I am so excited to have her capture our day.

For our coordinator and all of the other vendors we plan on booking, we have gone through our venue and just asked who they recommend. It’s really helpful to ask your existing vendors who they love working with. I think that’s the best way! It also saves you a ton of time of google searching and hoping you’re making the right choice.

How are you staying organized?

I am using two physical wedding planners. I know, two?! But I have found it extremely helpful. Right after we got engaged, I bought the Southern Weddings Planner online because I love their magazine, and the planner itself is just beautiful (I know I’ll keep it as an heirloom, and I love the idea of my children leafing through all the magazine clippings I cut out and dreams I wrote down). And, my friend Irina sweetly gifted me The Knot Real Weddings Planner. I actually LOVE using both! They are written by different magazine publications, and they both have really good ideas. I feel like I’m getting a bigger cross-section of expertise by using both of them. I also now buy a wedding magazine pretty much every time I’m in an airport or browsing at Target! Though some of them feature kind of ridiculously-over-the-top weddings, I still like getting ideas from them.

What has been the hardest part?

Making our guest list. It’s still not complete, and it’s really difficult. I’ve heard pretty much everyone who’s planned a wedding say that’s the hardest part.

What are you most looking forward to?

I think both Grace and I are really excited for catering and cake tastings! That seems like it would be the best part of wedding planning. I am also super excited for the moment of seeing our invitations all addressed and stamped and putting them in the mail. I love paper and stationary, so that’s very special for me.

Have you planned your honeymoon?

I thought so . . . and now I'm not sure. Right after we got engaged, I suggested to Grace that we go to [destination] for our honeymoon (I'm keeping this a surprise for now, just because I look forward to writing LENGTHY posts dedicated solely to our honeymoon planning!). Grace was totally on board and I told our family and friends that we would be going to [destination], leaving a couple of days after our wedding. But right as I started to look into finding the best places and making reservations and buying plane tickets, I weirdly had a change of heart . . . and now I'm considering something totally different. Grace is the sweetest person on earth and will go along with whatever my heart desires. I wish I could take two honeymoons, because I'm having the hardest time choosing! I know this is all vague, but I'll share more soon. Maybe I'll even do a poll to try to get some advice. It's a good problem to have, but it's tricky!

Thanks for reading. I'll share more soon!