As you can see from the photo above, we had a huge wedding party. Involving our loved ones in our wedding and rolling deep (as our florist said-haha) was a major part of our vision for our wedding, and I loved it. But it did mean having to figure out a lot of logistics when it came to creating a cohesive look for our bridesmaids and bride’s men (or bride’s butlers as I like to call them).
While having 10 bridesmaids each might seem excessive, I can’t tell you how much it meant to both of us. I’ll be writing more about this in depth, but our wedding was the first gay wedding either Grace or I attended. I was (and still am) a strong believer in the idea that our wedding was just a WEDDING, not a “gay wedding,” but let’s face it, our wedding was still different than 99% of the weddings most of our guests had been to. Knowing that, we kept with tradition on a lot, but we also felt free to set things up the way we wanted. Having all our besties up there with us as we said our vows was part of that. As a kid coming out, you worry about how you’ll be accepted by your friends. And when Grace and I imagined our future wedding when we were young, I think we both had a cloud of uncertainty over it.. would we be legally allowed to? Would people want to celebrate with us? Would it be weird?
Having 20 people—yes, TWENTY—in our wedding party felt like a redemption song after years of worry. We feel so lucky. Now, onto what they wore!
With 16 ladies and 4 men in our wedding party, I knew that asking all the women to wear the SAME dress would be ridiculous. I’m pretty sure the height variation among our bridesmaids went from 5’1 to 5’11. Plus, I had always loved the “mismatched bridesmaids dress” look, if done right.
Grace and I came up with this color palette—cool blues, soft pinks, and some grays and periwinkles mixed in—on our drive back from Alaska right after we got engaged. We were in the car watching a sunset and Grace commented how pretty the blues and pinks streaked across the sky were. We had been talking about wedding colors and decided to model them off of that, particularly given the meaning that trip held for us.
Once we got back, I started gathering some inspiration pictures so we could give people an idea of what we had in mind. I also found links online to dresses in a range of prices that would work well for what I had in mind. Once I had collected all of that, I sent out a huge email and Google Docs spreadsheet to help all the bridesmaids figure out what we had in mind for dresses. Even though I sent a few specific dresses as examples, I also left it open for people to find their own dress that fit the palette. Everyone sent me photos as they tried on dresses over the next few months, and I even got to go with one of my friends in person since she lives in LA! Many of Grace’s bridesmaids live in Europe, so I’m glad we had it be flexible since it would be hard for them to find the same dresses as the girls in the US were buying.
With 16 different bridesmaids shopping for dresses, I truly had no idea what the whole palette would look like together until our wedding day. To say I was thrilled with how it turned out would be an understatement.
Our friends have great style :) I was blown away by how beautiful everyone looked, both individually and as a group! I am so grateful to everyone for going along with my vision, and I LOVE looking at the photos of the whole group together. I’m biased, but I think it looked stunning.
For the guys, we had they all wear the same exact suit as Grace, from Suitsupply. The only difference was that they all wore the jacket, while she wore the vest. I had them all pick out ties that would match the bridesmaids’ color palette, but in the end, it was too hot to wear them! And I think the open-collar look works with the Southern California outdoor vibe of our wedding.
I absolutely loved the way our bridal party looked all together, and I recommend the mismatched look if you have a large party! I think it worked because everyone had a dress that worked for THEM and their body and style :) We love our bridesmaids and bride’s butlers so much!