September Goals + a Bit of Life Lately

August was so, so good to me. I couldn't have asked for more. My cup runneth over--etc. etc. It's hard to even express how much our wedding day meant to me, and there are so many precious memories I cannot wait to relive for the rest of my life (especially once we get our wedding photos back!!). Needless to say, I accomplished the only three goals I set for August: to marry Grace, to spend a relaxing 2 weeks in Hawaii celebrating our marriage, and to give thanks endlessly for the first two. Well, I could have always done more of that last goal :)

It's still August, but I'm setting my September goals a little bit early so I can get a head start on them. I have had an auspicious, sort of magical feeling ever since getting back from our honeymoon, and I think this fall is going to be a sweet combination of things changing and things staying the same/feeling "normal." I'm really really excited. That said, I'm a summer gal through and through, and I'm happy that MOST of September is still summer (it's only fall on the 22nd)--YAY! So I have one of my goals as going to the beach one more time this summer.

Here's the full list:

• Finish blogging our honeymoon (read the first recap here)
• Open all of our wedding gifts and incorporate them into our house
• Write all wedding thank-yous
• Host two back-to-back weekends of houseguests towards the end of the month
• Pray impossible prayers (hoping to blog more on this soon. Believing in the “impossible” is really good for the soul, I think!)
• Celebrate the anniversary of our engagement (which is also the anniversary of the day we “officially” started dating when we were babies, haha)
• Start changing over my IDs and legal documents to my new last name
• Go to the beach to celebrate the end of summer

The two weeks that we’ve been home from our honeymoon have been kind of a wild ride for both of us. It’s all good stuff, but in the past 10 days we have seen each other for probably an hour TOTAL while we’re both awake. We’ve been ships in the night on opposite schedules and I am so ready to move past that! I’m just excited for all that is to come and feeling really lucky. Thanks for reading, xoxo

Honeymoon Recap #1: Wailea (Maui)

Hello friends! This is my first blog post as Elizabeth Baldridge, and I have so much to update here. I've had a really hard time deciding where to start in terms of catching up on posts--my long overdue East and West Coast bachelorette parties recap? Thoughts on being a married lady? Wedding details? But I've decided that since we don't have our professional photos back yet from the wedding (it takes a few weeks), and because this blog started first and foremost as a travel blog, I am going to start with HAWAII!

To read a little bit on why we picked Hawaii (and specifically why we decided not to take our dogs on our honeymoon), read this post. Also, as heads up, this is going to be a lengthy post. A big part of this is so that I can preserve all the memories and details for myself to look back on, so apologies in advance!

After the best day ever on August 4 (our wedding) and one extra day seeing our friends and family after the wedding, we jetted to the island of Maui just about 36 hours after tying the knot. We spent the first few days of our honeymoon in the southwestern part of Maui, called Wailea. The "A" on the map below shows you which part of the island it is:

Backing up a little bit, we flew Hawaiian Air to Maui and it set the best tone for our trip! Hawaiian is so much fun to fly because it's all themed around the islands which really gets you in the spirit for your upcoming vacation. They serve delicious Hawaiian food (a full meal on each over-ocean flight, even in economy) and a complimentary rum punch drink upon landing. This is in no way sponsored by them, I was just really impressed! When they offered the rum punch, Grace and I made a rule that for the whole trip, anytime we were offered a tropical drink or champagne because it was our honeymoon, we had to accept! We ended up following that rule many times :)

Once we landed in Maui, we headed to our first hotel of the trip: the warm, welcoming, and exquisite Hotel Wailea. I had high expectations going in--Hotel Wailea is part of the Relais & Chateaux hotel group, which has really high standards for members; it's always in the Travel & Leisure top 100 hotels in the world; and it's been ranked #1 hotel in Hawaii by Condé Nast. Even knowing all of that, we were blown away. Everywhere we stayed was amazing, but Hotel Wailea was our favorite for sure, and I'm so glad it was our first stop! 

We also loved that the hotel is adults-only and has only about 70 rooms, which are all suites. It just really elevated the experience (though everywhere else we stayed was kid-friendly and those places were great, too--it was just nice to start our honeymoon in such a tranquil environment).

Walking in felt cinematic and somehow one of the most memorable moments of the whole honeymoon: we stepped out of our taxi from the airport and were instantly greeted by hotel staff. Beautiful fresh flower leis were placed around our necks. Glasses of champagne appeared in our hands. An ocean breeze flowed across the open-air lobby and flower petals scattered across our feet. We glided to the check-in and couldn't help laughing out loud just in amazement at it all. The hotel felt quiet, though we knew most of the rooms were booked--the way the property is laid out makes it feel like you're the only people staying there. It really was the PERFECT first place to soak in the fact that we were now newlyweds.

Then we got to our room and it got even better.

The view from our balcony (called a Lanai in Hawaii)

A very dark and grainy picture of our room (not sure why I didn't get a better one!)

Our perfect bathtub (not pictured: huge rain shower right beside it)

Because we'd told them it was our honeymoon, a couple of hours after checking in we got a knock on our door and a bottle of champagne was delivered as a welcome gift, complete with a sweet note to "the Baldridges"! We sat out on our lanai and enjoyed it along with some taro chips and salsas, guac, and hummus.

We decided to keep it low-key that first day and just check out the hotel grounds (there are several acres of it) and then go to dinner at the hotel restaurant.

Some of the views strolling from our room to dinner.

The dinner at the restaurant hotel was one of our favorites of the entire trip. As soon as we sat down, we were brought two glasses of champagne because it was our honeymoon. I feel like we could have bathed with all the champagne we were given at Hotel Wailea!

Part of the criteria to be a Relais & Chateaux member hotel is that all the members have to have a great restaurant on the property. Hotel Wailea's, just called The Restaurant, did not disappoint. We got delicious oysters, a tomato and burrata salad with a crostini, king crab pasta (SO good), and diver scallops. I also got a bright pink dragonfruit drink (pictured below). It looks like it would be crazy sweet, but it was light and refreshing--it's really just the natural color of the fruit that makes it so neon! For dessert, we had the "orchard sweets", which was a mango bar with coconut and some kind of fried topping. Everything was perfect. I couldn't have imagined a better first day + dinner to start our honeymoon!

The next morning we woke up and ordered breakfast to our room! I loved how they would come and set it out on our lanai with a white tablecloth. It was so deliciously decadent :)

I got the avocado toast, and Grace got the French toast. I feel like whenever we go out for breakfast, Grace gets something sweet and I get something salty! That's kind of our personalities, haha. We also got a big French press of Maui coffee. I'm not a coffee drinker but I tried it and even I have to admit it was delicious. Definitely the best coffee I'd ever had. I got an iced tea which was also great.

Hotel Wailea is up in the hills of Wailea (which is why you get such great views), but you can't just walk outside and go to the beach. But, the nice thing is that it's only a 5 minute drive to the beach. And the staff at the hotel will give complimentary rides down to the beach any time you want in one of their butterfly door Teslas! 

Then when we were ready to come back, we'd just call and they'd pick us up in 5 minutes. They will actually take you to and pick you up from any location in Wailea, which we took advantage of--such a nice perk of staying there!

Once you get down to the beach. Hotel Wailea has its own strip of lounge chairs with attendants on site who will lay out fresh towels for you, give you cold bottles of water, and call the car service to come get you.

This is the spot!

We headed down to the beach in the morning after getting our first breakfast of the trip. It was such a beautiful day! But, with Hurricane Hector getting nearer to the islands (more on that in my next recap), the surf was ROUGH. We got knocked down really hard within minutes of trying to swim, so we ended up just lounging and reading mostly. 

After a couple of hours on the beach, we decided to walk down to the Shops at Wailea and got lunch at Longhi's. There, my life was forever changed when I had THE BEST tuna melt of all time. I am a tuna melt gal so I always have to sample them wherever I am--and this one was unreal. It was made with fresh catch albacore, not canned, and was so over-the-top good I couldn't even believe it. Grace got a fresh catch piece of fish as well. 

After lunch we made our way back to the hotel and the rest of the day we just soaked in our time together and enjoyed the hotel :)

Low-quality self timer photo, high quality honeymoon lanai vibes

The next morning: more amazing room service breakfast! Coffee again, avocado toast again (this time for Grace), and an açaí bowl and a Bloody Mary for me.

Because our hotel's pool was under construction while we were there, they had arranged for us to have privileges to use the Fairmont's pool. We decided to check it out on our second full day in Wailea and the hotel gave us a ride down there. It was gorgeous, though a very different speed from our hotel. It actually made us even more glad we were staying at Hotel Wailea, even though it was still fun to hang out there for an afternoon!

It was a palatial and bustling place. We took a quick tour of the grounds to select which pool we wanted to hang at (there were several!) and ended up picking the "goldilocks" of all the pools: the Upper Pool which had a swim up bar. We initially thought we'd prefer the adults only pool, but it was way too quiet. There wasn't a single person swimming, and we actually wanted to swim! So the Upper Pool was the perfect happy medium between screaming kids and the too-quiet adults pool. It also had some of our favorite poolside drinks of the whole trip. I of course had to order the one that comes in a pineapple. 

Inside was a delicious pineapple and coconut blended drink.

We also ordered some tasty lunch.

Fun fact about Grace: girl LOVES to play around in a swimming pool. Notice I didn't say she loves to swim--she doesn't really do laps or anything. But she turns into a 12 year old in the pool and it's the funniest thing. She'll challenge you to a handstand competition, try to do an underwater backflip, and try to tread water using only one arm for 60 seconds. It makes me want to have our own swimming pool one day because it brings her so much joy. I knew nothing of this prior to our honeymoon because we'd never really been in a pool together! It was a hilarious surprise.

That night was one of the nights I had most been looking forward to on Maui: our reservation at Mama's Fish House! I'd heard about Mama's Fish House for years and felt so lucky to finally try it. Also, one of my bridesmaids (and best friend) Sarah gave us a gift card to go there as a wedding gift since it's one of her favorite restaurants on earth. We timed our reservation for sunset and it really was a once-in-a-lifetime meal (unless of course we are lucky enough to go back)!

This card was waiting at our table (which had the best view in the house!) when we arrived.

Walking up, the restaurant is set in a beautiful little grove right on the water. We strolled and got a picture since we were early for our reservation. Side note, Mama's is actually not in Wailea, but on the North Shore of Maui. It's not too bad of a Lyft ride though.

I didn't get any great photos of our dinner (it wasn't really the place to take a flash iPhone photo, if you know what I mean), but it was the most divine food imaginable. Grace ordered the traditional Hawaiian plate, which was a huge spread of everything from taro and plantains, to poi (a traditional Hawaiian sauce--kind of an acquired taste), to ceviche, to poke, to octopus, to grilled kanpachi (fish). She tried it all and loved it. I got the signature meal at Mama's--a fresh catch of fish (that night, Kanpachi) stuffed with crab and lobster and baked in a macadamia nut crust, with a lobster tail on the side. OMG. It was unreal. We also shared the Maui onion soup and a crab cake to start. We got some delicious cocktails to wash it all down, and just generally we were in heaven. It was truly a perfect meal and the hospitality at Mama's was unlike any restaurant I have ever been to. If you are in Maui on your honeymoon (or any trip, though it's kind of a splurge/special occasion place), GO THERE! And make sure to tell them it's your honeymoon when they call to confirm your reservation! They asked if we were celebrating anything and I didn't think anything of it, but I was so touched when they had a special congratulatory note waiting at our table when we sat down. Of course I saved it and will be tucking it into our honeymoon album when I get one made, along with a few other special notes we got on the trip :)

The next day, it was sadly time to check out of Hotel Wailea! We were so sad to leave, but excited for the next leg of our trip. I think if Hotel Wailea had been the final stop of our trip, it would have been impossible to leave, but having more stops on the island gave us motivation to actually hit the road.

Grace's Hawaiian road trip outfit :)

It wouldn't be an "us" vacation without a road trip somehow involved, so on this morning we set out to drive the Road to Hana. I won't say anything more about that on this post--it will be my next recap--but it was incredible. You can drive it in any car, but I decided to rent a Jeep Wrangler because I knew Grace would have fun driving one. There's an Enterprise counter at the nearby Marriott, so we took one last ride in the house Teslas down there and picked up our Jeep. We were ready to hit the road and so excited! 

And that's where I'll leave off until recap #2! I'm going to try to write about one of these a week for the next month or so to recap the whole honeymoon. Thanks for following along--it's so sweet to relive it through writing these!

August Goals + Farewell Until After the Wedding!

Well friends, August is HERE. I am writing this live on August 1, and I get married in 3 days. As the wedding day draws nearer, I have had less and less capacity to blog and keep up with social media etc. Not really because I'm running around with a mile-long to do list, but because I'm appreciating more and more the value in just being present with everyone who has traveled so far to be with us this week and weekend. Both sets of parents are in town, we've had close to a dozen people roll through our little house already, and it's such a full and happy time. With that in mind, I didn't end up getting to pre-write blog posts for during our honeymoon, so HDWD will be pretty quiet for the next 3 weeks or so. I can't wait to write a whole slew of posts on everything that will have happened once I'm back!

For now, here are my August goals:

1. Marry Grace Baldridge.

2. Spend a relaxing 2 weeks in Hawaii celebrating our marriage.

3. Give thanks endlessly for 1. and 2.

I hope everyone has a super sweet month! xoxo

Wedding Planning Update #3

It has been a minute since my last wedding planning update! And SO much has happened. I truly cannot believe our wedding week begins in 3 weeks. We’re in the final stages now, and if there’s one piece of advice as a bride so far that I can give, it’s to front-load your wedding planning. I have been like a little squirrel for months storing away everything I could get done in advance, and it has really paid off because there’s not a long to-do list at this point. I have cards to write, vendors to do final check-ins with, but I’m not scouring Etsy for last-minute decorations I realize I need, I’m not still mulling over song choices, and overall, I’m not missing any key pieces for our wedding day.

Like my other posts on wedding planning, I’ll keep this one somewhat general because I don’t want to give away pictures of décor or visuals for the wedding day yet so everything is fresh for our guests. But here are some of my favorite moments from wedding planning the past few months since I last updated:

• Getting our wedding rings. I am beyond excited for us both to wear them.
• Doing final dress fittings with my seamstress. A couple of weeks ago, I had one of those special moments where I really “felt like a bride”: I was in my seamstress’s atelier, wearing my dress while she measured and cinched and marked all around me to get it closer to fitting perfectly. The atelier is on the first floor of a shared loft space, and the front door is a glass pane, and as people walked by on their way to other shops, they stopped, smiled, and admired my dress through the glass . . . it was just special and made everything feel so real.
• Getting some fun details in the mail that are now filling our guest room (custom cake toppers, table numbers, gifts for special people who are playing a role in our wedding day, etc.)
• Doing my hair and makeup trial with the most thoughtful and calming stylists ever. I am so excited for them to recreate the look on my wedding day!
• Writing our vows together and planning out our ceremony with our officiant. I have gotten chills so many times thinking about saying those words on our wedding day!
• Sending out invitations and getting our response cards in the mail! It’s so fun reading the sweet little notes some people have written to us with their response!
• Doing our cake tasting. So fun. We liked so many flavors and had such a hard time deciding that we ended up choosing a different one for each tier.
• Getting our marriage license!!

With each week that passes, I feel more ready for our wedding, and so I really do think we’ll be in good shape come August. I can’t wait to share every detail of our wedding day on the blog, and more details about the planning process once all the fun designs and surprises are out of the bag!

To close, here are some of my favorite “outtakes” from the planning process lately:

Visiting our venue with my mom (who took this picture). I get overwhelmed with a sense of peace and tranquility every time I go. It's such a beautiful and serene spot.

Going to the showroom to pick out our furniture, plates, and linen rentals.  This setup is not at all what ours will look like, just showing a glimpse of the showroom :)

Getting a couple hundred of these cute fans in the mail to keep our guests cool during our outdoor ceremony!

Getting our marriage license at the Beverly Hills courthouse! (I edited the picture to block out our information, haha). This was SUCH a sweet and special moment, and it's when I officially initiated my name change to Baldridge :)

Doing a cake tasting. SO delicious and festive, and the people were so sweet.

Getting super fun and cute responses with our RSVP cards in the mail every day! I'm almost sad we've gotten all of our response cards now, because I loved checking the mail and getting a few every day. This one is from my best friend (and one of my bridesmaids).

This is what we sign for purposes of our church's records (not an official document but just something we do with our officiant). I loved the wording so much I wanted to share it here.

Since we only have 26 days left (!!) until the wedding, I'm not sure if I'll write another one of these planning posts before then, but I will be blogging all the details over the next few months! Thanks for following along.

July Goals + June Recap

This season of life doesn’t keep. That’s what keeps running through my head—it’s cliché, but I just cannot believe how fast our engagement has flown by. Our wedding is NEXT MONTH! And because it’s right at the beginning of August, our wedding week actually starts THIS MONTH! What?! I’m feeling overwhelmed by love and so excited for this next chapter. Having two weeks in Hawaii for our honeymoon immediately after our wedding doesn’t hurt, either.

As you might imagine, my goals list for July is stacked. Although I majorly front-loaded wedding planning, there are just some things that can’t be done until roughly a month out. So this month is full of those things. First, a look at how I did on my June goals:

• Get our marriage license (in California, you can get one starting 90 days out from your wedding, and we're well within that now)--yes! Such a special moment.
• Make all wedding-related playlists (as I said above, we have a live band, but we need playlists for getting-ready music in the morning, and also for times when the band takes breaks throughout the reception)--yep
• Touch base with all vendors and schedule meetings as necessary--yes, and met some of our vendors in person for the first time last month, which was great!!
• Decide on our alcohol order for our reception--done
• Check in with our wedding party to make sure everyone has their attire and give wedding weekend details--yes. We have the best wedding party ever
• Order ceremony programs--ordered! Can't wait to see them in person
• Put together some final DIY projects (that I'm keeping a surprise for now)--done & done
• Update our wedding website with a couple of details--done, but need to add one more thing now
• Make a payments schedule for remaining vendor payments--yes
• Finalize honeymoon details + recommendations--yes and I cannot wait to be there
• Enjoy my weekend in Virginia with half of my bridesmaids! (I'm spending a special weekend with the other half in July)--yes and it was SO sweet! I will blog about it for sure!
• Close the chapter on my 101 in 1001 goal list and create a new one: 60 Before 30--yes. Post here.

And now, my July goals:

• Finalize the gift and letter I am giving Grace on our wedding day
• Practice our first dance
• Finalize rehearsal dinner details
• Wrap/prepare all gifts and cards for people who are playing a role in our wedding
• Place alcohol order for delivery to venue and get backup disposable cups in case we run through our glassware at the bar
• Check in with everyone who is giving a toast, doing a reading, or making an announcement at the wedding
• Create/assemble all details and accessories for photographing + signage, etc.
• Backup and clear our all iPhone and DSLR photos to make room for photos of our wedding weekend + honeymoon
• Fully pack for honeymoon + wedding week
• Get guest room and West Hollywood guide ready for visitors staying with us around the wedding
• Nail down details of my bridesmaids luncheon
• Meet with all necessary vendors
• Create seating chart for reception dinner
• Keep up with thank-you notes for wedding gifts
• Schedule some blog posts in advance to publish during our honeymoon

The next time I publish one of these goal posts, we will be only days away from our wedding! Wahoooo!

60 Before 30

It is no secret that I love goal setting. From setting monthly goals, to my overall yearly goals/guideposts, to longer-term goal setting like 101 in 1001, I absolutely love the way goal setting helps me prioritize both long- and short-term, and especially in this season of wedding planning, I don’t know how I’d get it all done without the structure of intentional goal setting.

While my monthly goals are usually very practical, I love setting long-term goals that are essentially more like bucket list items than to-do lists. Since 2015, I have been working on a 101 in 1001 goals list, where you attempt to complete 101 goals in 1001 days. I blogged my list here. My 1001st day was June 1, 2018, and so even though I didn’t accomplish everything on my list, it’s time to turn the page and start a new long-term goal setting chapter!

Partway through my 1001 days, I noticed on a few blogs I read a trend of doing a number of goals based on a specific age. One common one was 60 Before 30. This could work with any age, i.e., 100 before 50, 80 before 80, etc. To me, this isn’t about being scared of turning a certain age—I have no qualms at all about turning 30, when I do—but instead it’s about defining a set of ages in your life and dreaming about all they could hold. I have almost exactly three years until I turn 30 (minus a couple of weeks), and so this set is just a little longer than my 1001 days, which seems perfect to accomplish and experience some big things, and make some little-but-important things happen too. In my list you will see a mix of mundane and over-the-top, but that’s real life. A lot of my list is relationship, family, health, and travel-related. I have a few items that I prefer not to put on the Internet, either because they involve a surprise I’d love to pull off, a personal health-related topic, or the “story” of the goal isn’t fully mine to tell. For those, I just wrote “personal” and the general topic it is.

My way of keeping my list organized is I have each goal written on a page of a journal (pictured at the top of this post). As I go through the list (not necessarily in order), I write a short journal entry about it, and I can also tape tickets or other mementos of goals I’ve completed right in the journal. I did this for my 101 in 1001 list, and I love that it’s a tangible thing I can keep forever, even though that list is now over. I will also plan on blogging various 60 before 30 goals as I complete them!

With that introduction out of the way, here’s my 60 Before 30 list:

1.     Marry Grace Baldridge

2.     Go on a honeymoon

3.     Legally change my last name to Baldridge

4.     Build an emergency fund of 6 months’ living expenses with Grace

5.     Start a collection of Christmas decorations

6.     Increase planned/intentional charitable giving

7.     Host a baby shower or a bridal shower

8.     Switch to all natural beauty, cleaning, and laundry products

9.     Personal (career)

10.  Get first Christmas tree of my own (for my first married Christmas)

11.  Personal (spiritual)

12.  Go somewhere wild/exotic/remote (some initial ideas are Bora Bora, Antarctica, or Kenya)

13.   Personal (family)

14.  Personal (spiritual)

15.  Make a beautiful heirloom-quality wedding album

16.  Make a beautiful heirloom-quality album of pictures from our Alaska road trip

17.  Make a beautiful heirloom-quality album of pictures from our honeymoon

18.  Make the outdoor spaces of our house special

19.  Make an awesome and welcoming guest room

20.  Combine all finances with Grace and have both our names on all bank and credit accounts

21.  Personal (surprising someone)

22.  Celebrate my mom’s graduation from divinity school

23.  Celebrate my sister’s graduation from college

24.  Go back to Elon with Grace (maybe for her cousin’s graduation, or for homecoming?)

25.  Visit D.C. to see two of my best friends and my grandmother, who all live there

26.  Do a month-long contentment/spending freeze challenge

27.  Celebrate our first and second wedding anniversaries

28.  Find a dentist in LA

29.  Personal (health)

30.  Send out our first ever Christmas cards (as the Baldridges!)

31.  Personal (career)

32.  Personal (career)

33.  Go a week without social media

34.  Be able to say, at least at some point, that I’m in great physical shape

35.  Go back to Grace’s hometown in Belgium

36.  Fix our closet and hallway lights

37.  Give a speech at a wedding or rehearsal dinner

38.  Have my blog featured somewhere

39.  Personal (surprising someone)

40.  Personal (health)

41.  Blog every detail of wedding planning and the day itself

42.  Personal (surprising someone)

43.  Upgrade/change up my car when my lease expires in 2019

44.  Replace our foundation mattress (we just got it, but it’s from IKEA and not good…)

45.  Offer to help a friend with some aspect of their wedding: hand-addressing invitations like I did mine, serving as an informal day-of coordinator, passing down my collected wedding décor items, etc.

46.  Personal (misc.)

47.  Personal (gift/surprising someone)

48.  Start a tradition with Grace of having tea in the evenings

49.  Take a trip with both dogs (instead of boarding Bean like we’ve been doing while he’s a puppy)

50.  Take Grace to my parents’ place on the Chesapeake Bay

51.  Hang art or photos over our bed

52.  Introduce Grace to my grandmother (finally!)

53.  Have 10+ baby books in my collection (Grace and I started a tradition after we got engaged of collecting baby books on special trips we take . . . it might sound crazy, but I love the idea of having an amazing collection of books from special places for our babies if we’re lucky enough to have them one day)

54.  Swim (actually swim) in the ocean 10+ times

55.  Visit Ojai at least once a year

56.  Have a dinner party using our beautiful new kitchen wares we’ve gotten as wedding gifts

57.  Get orthotics/generally get my flat feet assessed by a professional (I truly have the flattest feet on earth—like the palm of a hand—and I need to be more proactive about the health problems my lack of arches will cause me as I get older)

58.  Go skiing with Grace (and stick to the bunny slopes because of the knee issues we both have!)

59.  See Carly Rae Jepson live with Grace

60.  Have professional photos taken of Grace and me each year of our marriage

Have you ever set monthly or long-term goals? I would love to hear about them!

Thanks for reading. Xoxo

Birthday Weekend in Ojai

This past weekend Grace and I drove up to Ojai for my birthday, and I am so grateful. Leading up to this trip, even though it had been booked for weeks, I refused to let myself be excited for it. I've been in the busiest season of my life and honestly a bit down--feeling like it's impossible to count on any plans or set good boundaries with work. Up until we were physically in the car driving to Ojai, a big part of me didn't believe the trip would happen. But I fought for it, and it was so worth fighting for! A couple days before the trip, I asked Grace if we should still go, given that I'd probably be working a good bit of the trip and had been in a stressed-out mood for days. She said it was my call, but she reminded me that road trips are our sweet spot, and what sets us on fire as a couple. I knew she was right and we had to make it work.

I feel very humbled by the fact that this trip happened at all, and the down-to-the-wire nature of whether we'd get to go actually set me up for a really beautiful experience of letting go of control with planning trips. Normally, for a weekend getaway, I'd spend a good bit of time researching the area and having a few options in mind for each meal or activity, and maybe even some advance reservations. But because I didn't know until that day whether we'd actually get to go, I didn't spend any time planning ahead, and it was actually SO special. Everything felt really magical, like we'd just stumbled upon things, whereas if I'd researched in advance, it would have lost a bit of that wonder I think. I'm not saying I'm now totally converted to only spontaneous travel--I did book this hotel weeks in advance after all--but I think it was really meant to be that we got to just wing it.

For example, on Friday night when we drove up, it turned that there was an oyster food truck right in the parking lot of the hotel! We'd already eaten dinner on the road, but we decided to get some raw oysters as an after-dinner snack, and they were SO good. It put me in the best mood and just felt so FUN--an oyster food truck steps away from our hotel room--how cool and serendipitous is that?! But had I researched in advance, I would have seen that it was on the hotel's schedule, and I would have pressed Grace to make sure we got there in time to go to it. We ended up getting there only 20 minutes before the food truck was supposed to leave, which would have stressed me out had we been counting on going to it, but because I didn't know in advance, it just felt like perfect timing. And had the truck driven away before we got there, well, ignorance is bliss.

It's a good reminder, especially with our honeymoon coming up, that knowing all the local hot spots in advance can actually minimize your ability to stumble upon something and make the trip your own, not the internet's version of the perfect trip to that area. 

Now with that dose of travel philosophy out of the way, here's the recap of our trip!

We stayed at the Ojai Rancho Inn, which is now our favorite place in Ojai! This was our third trip; we previously stayed at the Ojai Valley Inn and Spa and a Hipcamp treehouse in Ojai. By the way, if you have never heard of this small town and are perplexed at how to say the name, it's pronounced like this: OH-hi. Kind of like Ohio, but without the "o" at the end, and the emphasis is on the first O rather than the hi. Hence lots of "Oh hi, Ojai" puns. It is a beautiful, lush town in the foothills, historically an artists' community. Similar to Palm Springs in some ways, but more of a green hilly feel than the desert like Palm Springs.

Here are some pictures I snapped for a visual feel for the property at Rancho:

While we had a fabulous time at both the Ojai Valley and the Ojai treehouse in the past, we both agreed that Ojai Rancho just felt like the "Goldilocks" of places in Ojai. The Ojai Valley was our first foray into all that Ojai has to offer, and it's really special that we got to go there with Casper. But it's more of a golf course resort/pool scene kind of place, which is fine, but a little bit less our style. It's also slightly more removed from Ojai town, which is SO cool. The Ojai treehouse is also incredible but VERY removed from town (up a mountain), and rustic. I would totally go back there for camping, but it's not ideal if you want to explore the actual town.

Ojai Rancho was a dream. It's sort of rustic, but spotlessly clean, and had a funky cool vibe that just put us in the best mood. Our room, which felt more like our own cabin, was one of the coolest hotel rooms we've ever stayed in. Here are some pictures of that:

Having the piano in the room was clutch because Grace is working on tracking for her new record. Psst--you can get in on her record early here.

Since we don't have cable, watching House Hunters when we're on vacation is one of our guilty pleasures.

A little in-room picnic before dinner with all of my favorites for my birthday eve :)

And the Rancho is dog friendly! We decided not to bring Bean (although they do allow up to two dogs per room), because I just never want to be "that person" who brings a puppy that ends up peeing on something or disturbing guests. Bean got some extra social time being boarded at his favorite home away from home, Posh Pet Care in West Hollywood, and Willie got to be reminded of the good ole days when he was an only child. Just kidding :)

If you're curious, the room we stayed in was the King Garden Cottage. It's the only one like it at the hotel, and if you stay at the Rancho, I HIGHLY recommend the little bit extra it costs to rent this room. The other rooms seemed nice from pictures, but this one is a little bigger and more special. You also have direct access to the pool from your room (which we didn't use, but would be perfect if traveling with kids), and out the other door, you walk straight out onto a little patio and green space for your dog. Plus, the piano, cool leather sofa, and record player make a stay all the more unique and cozy. I think the other rooms are more like traditional hotel rooms with just a bed, though some have a Jacuzzi, which ours didn't have. I didn't take any photos of the bathroom, but it was nice and big.

Since we didn't have any plans in advance, we decided to just explore the town and have down time in our room, pretty much alternating those two things the whole weekend. It was great. The first night we stayed in and had the above-mentioned oysters.

On Saturday morning we went down the street for some breakfast and to walk around in the parks with Willie. Funny story, the road in front of the hotel is kind of busy so we drove (2 mins) into town, later realizing there is an AWESOME greenway trail that runs behind the hotel and all the businesses in the main district of Ojai! So everything is super walkable and pedestrian--I just didn't know in advance that you could get there by strolling behind the actual street where things are. Here's a picture of us on the greenway:

The first morning we ate breakfast at the Marche Gourmet Delicatessen--so good and friendly! Super European, right in the middle of Ojai.

Ojai is a very small town and easily walkable, though old man Willie was a little tired. We saw the sights and then headed back to the hotel for some rest time (after our extremely busy morning, clearly).

Ojai has the prettiest tile work everywhere. I love it. Walking around Saturday morning is when we really started to both say we could see ourselves living here. It's not that we don't love LA, but we are the type of people to think about retirement when we're 27, and this is exactly where we want to be when we retire. And maybe even buy property earlier than that so we can fix it up and spend time on the weekends there. A part of me even wants to move to Ojai to raise a family, because it seems like such a great place to do that. But that's probably not in the cards in the immediate future.

Anyway, after some down time in the afternoon, we ventured back out on the greenway for dinner. We had a few names in mind of places that had outdoor seating for Willie, and ended up selecting The Nest, which was a really cute place with a nice patio. The food was yummy. Grace got an anchovy margarita pizza and I got calamari tacos.

I also had one of my favorite cocktails I've had in a while there. The one I got was called the Ventura Fog, which was fitting because it was a pretty foggy/chilly weekend. It was made with earl grey infused gin, lavender, meyer lemon, and egg white. It reminded me of a lavender macaron, but not super sweet, which I always prefer in drinks.

After dinner we got some fro yo and walked back to our home away from home! Walking along the greenway, we passed right behind a local amphitheater with an event going on, and we heard some familiar tunes trickling through the trees. I looked up the schedule for that amphitheater and saw that it was actually the band Vampire Weekend playing. I had never heard them live so we lingered a little bit on that part of the walk, thinking how fun it was to unexpectedly hear a band we knew playing in the park in this little town. It was a sweet, simple night. We drank some champagne when we got back and randomly watched the original Jurassic Park which was on TV.  I'm not sure if I'll see the new movie coming out, but the original has always been a favorite.

The next day was my birthday! And also the one year anniversary of Casper (our first dog) dying. It felt really full circle to wake up on my birthday and hug Willie (last year I was awoken on my birthday at 5am to basically Casper's last moments/getting really sick) and just feel grateful for all the healing--and new fur babies--we've had in the year following Casper's death. 

I opened some gifts and then we checked out of our hotel and drove to the Ojai Coffee Roasting Co. for breakfast. It was definitely the hot spot in town that morning (which was also Father's Day), and Grace waited in line while I sat outside with Willie. We got some lox, a really good PB&J, a parfait, and some coffee and a chai latte for me. It was all delish.

And after that we headed back to LA! We clocked how long it took for us to get down to the coast, and it was only about 15-20 minutes. That was also a big selling point on our plans to move to Ojai one day--I think of Ojai as being more inland, but it's actually quicker to the beach than where we live in West Hollywood! 

All in all, the weekend away was just what we both needed. I honestly could have spent a week at Ojai Rancho Inn, and we hope to go back for a longer vacation soon! I can't wait to spend more time in Ojai and get to know it better. We feel like we just scratched the surface of all there is to do there. Ojai also has a big wine scene with a bunch of tasting rooms, which is something I would love to try out next time. If you are looking for a getaway in Southern California that isn't a far drive but feels like a world away, I cannot recommend Ojai enough. The sign below says it all--Ojai vibes are very real!

June Goals + May Recap

Rabbit rabbit! June is here. I'm hoping this month will be very sweet, expectant, and celebratory. There are SO many things going on: Pride. My birthday. Also, marking a year since Casper died. Taking a trip to the East Coast to celebrate with some of my bridesmaids before the wedding. And in a way, June feels like the last *full* month before the wedding, because our wedding is at the very beginning of August, so the first half of our wedding week is actually in July. 

Though there are still things to do, I have to say, we feel ready for our wedding day. During these months of planning, I have really really wanted to avoid feeling stressed in the few weeks leading up to the wedding. I don't want to be DIY-ing late into the night right before, or being nervous if shipments will come in time. I think some online vendors have thought I'm a little over the top with placing orders in February for things for our August wedding, but now that I have everything in-hand, it just puts me at so much peace. There are a few little things we're still waiting on (an engraved cake cutting set, a special vintage of champagne for our toast with cake cutting, and other tiny details like that), but nothing that our wedding would be incomplete without at this point. I have outfits planned out for my bridesmaids luncheon, rehearsal dinner, wedding morning, and day-after-the-wedding, and if you know me, you know that this makes my heart SO full. I'm a planner through and through, so this wedding has been like my Olympics!

My goals for June are still mostly focused on getting ready for the wedding, but I also want to slow down and celebrate all the good things happening this month. Lord willing, Grace and I will be celebrating our fifth West Hollywood Pride together, then the next weekend we'll go away for my birthday, then the next weekend I'll fly to my favorite place on earth to be with some of my favorite people on earth. So one of my overarching, big goals is just to celebrate and truly soak it all in.

So how did I do on my May goals? I had an incredibly busy month work-wise and was lagging on many of my May goals, but in the last few days I turned it out and made several happen! That's one of the things I love about monthly goals--having that "deadline" of the end of the month helps me knock things out even though there isn't really any consequence to not completing them on time. Mainly, I like to get it all done to make way for the next month's goals, so I don't have to roll things over (though there are a couple of roll-overs this month).

To recap May:

• Meet with Rev. Ed (our officiant and dear friend) to plan our ceremony--yes. I think our ceremony is going to be so, so good. It's a very traditional Episcopal ceremony, which I think might be a surprise to some, but we've written it in a way where people don't need to have familiarity with Episcopalianism to follow along.
• Order and design ceremony programs--somewhat; I figured out what I want the programs to say and where I'm going to order them, but I need to confirm all the details of the ceremony are correct with Rev. Ed before sending it to print (so this is a roll-over goal)
• Send out our wedding invitations--yes! It's been SO fun getting response cards every day in the mail!
• Decide on all music and give notes to our band about what types of music we want played at our reception--yes, I'm suuuuper excited about the music. We have a 9-piece band for our reception that I think is going to be so energetic and fun.
• Decide on and purchase all details for reception (little things like cake toppers, decorative ribbon, etc.)--yep! Our guest room is filled with them right now, haha! Our custom cake toppers might be one of my favorite details of our wedding.
• Shop for and purchase our wedding rings (!!)--yes and omg, I am SO EXCITED for us to wear our wedding rings. Grace knows, I look at photos of my wedding ring every.single.day. (I don't have it currently because it's getting sized, and Grace's is getting custom made). My engagement ring is a 4+ generations-old family heirloom from Grace's family, and my wedding ring goes so perfectly with it, it's like they're long-lost twins.
• Catch up on thank-you cards I need to write--woefully behind on this. Working on it today, though!
• Blog a home tour--yes! This is one of those goals I wasn't sure would get done this month, but in the last few days of May I pulled it off. You can find that post here.
• Decide on some additional honeymoon details and gather recommendations--booked a couple things, but need to make a list of recommendations for each island.
• Shop for and purchase my wedding shoes--yes, I'm obsessed. I had a VERY specific vision in mind and I found exactly what I wanted. They also couldn't be more comfortable!
• Really soak in being engaged. Only 3 months left!--yeah, feeling very sweet on each other :) Now it's technically June, but we are going on a cute date night tonight continuing the theme of soaking in being engaged.

And now, my June goals:

• Get our marriage license (in California, you can get one starting 90 days out from your wedding, and we're well within that now)
• Make all wedding-related playlists (as I said above, we have a live band, but we need playlists for getting-ready music in the morning, and also for times when the band takes breaks throughout the reception)
• Touch base with all vendors and schedule meetings as necessary
• Decide on our alcohol order for our reception
• Check in with our wedding party to make sure everyone has their attire and give wedding weekend details
• Order ceremony programs
• Put together some final DIY projects (that I'm keeping a surprise for now)
• Update our wedding website with a couple of details
• Make a payments schedule for remaining vendor payments
• Finalize honeymoon details + recommendations
• Enjoy my weekend in Virginia with half of my bridesmaids! (I'm spending a special weekend with the other half in July)
• Close the chapter on my 101 in 1001 goal list and create a new one: 60 Before 30

I hope you have a super sweet June! Thanks for reading.

Our Little Yellow House

I am so excited to finally share this post! I've been looking forward to doing a home tour since we moved into our house last October. Grace and I chose not to live together before getting engaged, so sharing a space, combining our styles, and coming home to each other at the end of every day is all super new. We took our time decorating, which was intentional, as we wanted to create a layered, collected look. And we're still building that! But I thought it was "ready" enough to share, and I hope you enjoy.

A little bit about our house: I'm not sharing photos of the outside of our house because this is on the Internet, but we live in a one-story, two-bedroom house in West Hollywood. We LOVE our neighborhood so much--we both lived in West Hollywood in apartments prior to this, and our house is almost in the exact middle of our old places. West Hollywood is my favorite part of LA, and I feel very lucky to live here! 

If you're curious where anything is from in these photos, I have a bunch of links at the bottom of the post :)

The right door of the two doors in the above picture is our front door, so when you walk in, you step into our living room. We chose to have the sectional face both the fireplace, on one side, and the TV on the other. I personally like living room setups that are not entirely focused on the TV, though let's be honest--we end up there most nights! Lately we've been watching Riverdale (just finished season 2), the Handmaid's Tale, Evil Genius, and Jersey Shore (ha).

Across from our couch area is our entryway with a long table that we set mail, keys, etc. on.

Next, after walking through the living room, you get to our dining room. 

The built-in bar area behind our dining room table is one of my favorite parts of our house! I love the shelves and the mirrored back.

And above the bar are three photos from our Alaska trip:

We have a cute little record player corner in one corner of our dining room. It also is home to one of my favorite pieces of art in our house: the painting of Casper that Grace commissioned for me as a gift a few years ago.

Then on the other side of the dining room is our music nook! This spot has probably been the most "work in progress" of the house. There's this little bump-out in our dining room with kind of weird tile and huge windows, and we weren't sure what to do with it. Then Grace had the idea of making it a "music nook," and her parents so sweetly sent us their piano they weren't using. 

The music nook is one of the areas of our house that I'm most proud of, because it really mixes functionality with style. I love the look of the guitars on the wall, and I love that the piano is a gorgeous family heirloom, but it's also a space Grace uses every day to practice her music.

Just past the music nook is Grace's office. This space is a HUGE bonus of our house. We knew Grace needed a home office, but we assumed we'd find a place with two bedrooms and turn one into an office. So when we found our house, with an office separate from the two bedrooms, it was a dream come true!

Next up: our kitchen! I love our kitchen view right now; it's filled with bougainvillea (the pink flowers). 

Some favorite Polaroids taped to the fridge

A coffee cart I bought & styled for Grace's birthday a couple of years ago. Coffee is Grace's love language for sure.

And then our laundry room is right off the kitchen. It's also where we keep most of our dog food and supplies.

Swinging over to the other side of the house, we have a long hallway with our two bedrooms and bathroom off of it. First I'll show you the bathroom. I love it because it's so bright, open, and airy. When we first started looking for a place, having a window in the bathroom was a non-negotiable for me. We ended up with three!

And if you're curious, here's what our hallway connecting the two bedrooms and the bathroom looks like:

Here's our bedroom. We were determined to fit a king size bed in here, so the room is very full (of bed) but it feels super cozy to me. As a result, we have very little else in our bedroom, but I personally think that makes it feel extra restful!

We definitely need some kind of artwork or something over our bed, but we have been slow to pick something out. It might be a good spot for wedding photos, so I'm fine leaving it empty for now.

Right across from our bed, we have this skinny dresser/decorative shelves. It was actually an IKEA "hack" that Grace put together. We then have another little dresser and a wall of shelves inside our closet, which is basically a very small walk-in closet (in case you were wondering how two people fit all their stuff!).

This little bunny lamp is one of my favorite details in our bedroom. I had a pet bunny a few years ago who was (and still is) very special to me. Bean reminds me a lot of her, actually!

Last (and probably least) is our guest bedroom. Grace almost said I just shouldn't include it on the home tour, because we've done SO little with it, but I think it's still a cute-enough room, and we've already had several guests stay with us in it! We have nothing on the walls in there and it's currently kind of a catchall for wedding related crafts, and all our wedding gifts we've gotten so far (I'm superstitious about unpacking anything from the boxes until after the wedding). But I like to think it's still cozy and comfy, and will only get more so as we have more time to devote to making it nice.

I love that the bougainvillea is visible from this cozy corner of the guest room too.

I'm really excited to work on this house even more over the years and create an even more "gathered" decorated look as time goes on. We feel incredibly lucky to live here!

To close, I had Grace tell me her three favorite things about our house (without telling her mine).  Here are both of our answers:

Mine: 1. Our fenced in yard for the dogs; 2. Our hardwood floors throughout (with tile in the bathroom and kitchen); 3. That we have a washer, dryer, dishwasher, and central A/C and heat (all things I never had in my previous 2 apartments in California). Honorable mention: the lemon tree in our backyard!

Grace's: 1. My office; 2. Music Nook--love that it's an open space that flows to the rest of the house, so making music is a part of the house (and not a closed off space); 3. Our living room and how we almost always have fresh flowers there.

Sources, in photos from top to bottom:

 Living room curtains: Crate & Barrel

Living room curtain rods: Target

Letterboard: Letterfolk

Lantern Lamps: Blueprint Furniture (on sale, found in the back of the store gathering dust)

Couch: Blueprint Furniture

Globe Floor Lamp: Target

Throw Pillows: assorted from Anthropologie, Target, and World Market

Coffee Table and matching TV Table: Aiden Collection from World Market

Corner pouf seat: World Market (from a few seasons ago)

Basket for blankets under TV: Target

Entryway Table: World Market

Round Mirrors Over Entryway Table: Target

Basket for Dog Supplies on Entryway Table Shelf: Target (no longer available online, similar here)

Blue Chair in Entryway: World Market (apparently only comes as a set of 2 online)

Eucalyptus Wood Dining Room Table: CB2 from a long time ago, similar here

Mirrored Tray in Bar Area: Amazon

Black Frames Above Bar: Framebridge

Custom Framing for Casper Painting: Aaron Brothers

Drop-leaf Table for Record Player: IKEA

Speaker: Marshall 

Record Player: Grace Can't Remember Where She Got It

Basket for Records: Target

Curtain Rods in Music Nook: Target (same as in living room)

Curtains in Music Nook: Urban Outfitters (in Mint)

Armchair in Music Nook: World Market (as are the faux-fur throw and pink velvet pillow)

Side Table in Music Nook: World Market (no longer available online, similar here)

Lamp on Side Table: World Market Shade: World Market (no longer available online, similar here)

Plant Basket: IKEA

Music Nook Runner Rug: Rugs USA (I'm obsessed with Rugs USA)

Guitar Hooks: Guitar Center

Piano: Baldridge Family Heirloom

Frames for Grid Wall in Grace's Office: Aaron Brothers

Grace's Desk: World Market

Grace's Desk Chair: World Market

Sheepskin Throw: IKEA

Wall Sconce: World Market

Bookshelf in Grace's Office: Target

Letter Light Box: Target

Round Rug in Grace's Office: Rugs USA

Kitchen: pretty much everything has been collected for a long time and I can't link, but I will link the coffee cart here

Eyelet Shower Curtain: Target from a long time ago, similar here

Wooden Bench in Bathroom: IKEA (no longer available online, similar here)

White Bath Mat: Target (no longer available online, similar here)

Hallway Gray Sheepskin Rugs: IKEA

Master Bedroom Bed Frame: Crate & Barrel

White Duvet: IKEA

Throw Pillows: World Market

Bedside Table: World Market

Lamp: World Market (same as music nook lamp but with a different shade)

Leaning Floor Mirror: Target

Master Bedroom Curtains: Crate & Barrel (in silver/cream)

Master Bedroom Curtain Rods: Target

Master Bedroom Rug: Rugs USA

Dresser/Shelves: IKEA

Bunny Lamp: World Market (no longer available, similar idea here)

Guest Bedroom Curtain Rods: Target

Guest Bedroom Curtains: Urban Outfitters

Guest Bedroom Bed Frame: IKEA

Guest Bedroom Duvet: Marimekko from years ago, similar here

Guest Bedroom Rug: World Market (no longer available online, similar here)

Guest Bedroom Chair & Ottoman: IKEA

Thoughts on Grieving the Loss of a Pet Long-Term

Next month will mark one year since Casper died. Casper was our first dog together, an old brindle gray, black, and white pit bull we adopted from the West LA Shelter when he was probably about 8 years old. We had just under three years with him, and those years changed our lives forever. We have a huge painting of him in our house that Grace commissioned for me as a gift while Casper was still alive, and Grace always says to our other dogs, Casper is the only dog that gets a painting. He started it all.

A few weeks after Casper died, I wrote this post about fear and anxious thoughts after losing a pet suddenly. It is actually one of the posts that I've gotten the most emails about, and I was thinking that it would be worthwhile to post an update on how I'm feeling. SO much has changed since Casper died. We've adopted not one but two new dogs, we got engaged, we moved in together and made a home in our little house in West Hollywood, and honestly, life is good. I don't post much at all on this blog, or on IG or anywhere else, about continuing to grieve Casper because, well, it's not easily explained and doesn't feel right to solicit sympathy months and months after the fact. Without any ill-intention, people do expect you to move on. 

That being said, I know that the loss of a pet can stay with you for a long time (and really, forever), so I just wanted to write this post to say that you are not alone if you're not "over" the loss of a pet! I also want to share a little bit of my feelings in case anyone reading this is just now experiencing the loss of a pet and is wondering how they might be handling it in several months. Of course, everyone's way of processing is different, but here's how I feel a little less than a year out:

I still sometimes, out of the blue, feel like a shot of ice water floods my veins remembering losing Casper and the fact that he's not physically on earth any more. Random little things can make me feel this way. Recently, on the first day of spring this year, I just had this sick feeling of time being relentless, of another season without Casper, and how spring was the last season we had with him. Last fall, when I went through a couple of months of the worst anxiety I'd ever felt, I remember crying my eyes out and thinking that Casper had never seen me in such a dark season, and he would have protected me from this. I know this all sounds like TOTAL crazy dog lady stuff, but Casper was like my little baby and my big brother all at once. Without him, I would (and sometimes still do) project hard feelings onto his absence and feel like I would "feel better" if only he was still here with me.

One of the most persistent, unbearable thoughts I had after Casper died is imagining my life stretched out in front of me--decades and decades, if I'm lucky--and never seeing Casper's face again in all that time. Being an old lady, still lonely from missing my first baby (and I have a huge lump in my throat typing this). Feeling like his exact features and quirks would become a distant memory is too painful to dwell on. 

One thing that I think less and less about is the actual day he died. I grappled with a lot of trauma after that day, but that has subsided. Though I realize this post is probably coming across as BEYOND extra if you're not as much of a dog person as I am, Casper's death was nonetheless very traumatic for me. He literally died in my arms, in the back of Grace's car in the middle of nowhere, and I held his (80-pound) body for two hours before we could reach our vet to get him cremated. It happened so fast--only three days from the first sign of illness (after which we immediately took him to the vet, but they said he was okay for the time being)--and only about an hour where he was actually dying. I had never witnessed any death before that, except maybe a bug or something. So this was huge for me. I'd had family members and family pets die, but I'd never been there. After we took Casper to be cremated, Grace and I went home alone and just cried beside each other for so long. I felt like we were so impossibly tiny, and that the huge powers of life and death had just ripped through us and left us like little leaves blowing in the wind. I have never felt more drained. I replayed what had happened thousands of times in my head, and I had to tell the story to so many people who were as shocked by his sudden death as we were. But actually, telling it helped. It got easier each time. And writing it out was so healing. So even though I felt like I would never get my strength back after what happened, I of course have.

Lastly, I am definitely okay. And if you've lost a pet, or are worried about losing one in the future, you will be okay too! It's a bit overwhelming to think about losing either of my current dogs, because as this post shows I'm not done grieving Casper . . . so I don't know how I could handle going through another loss. But, I know I could. Also, my best advice is to adopt another dog or two as soon as you can :)

If you're going through this, hang in there!