September Goals + August Recap

If you have spent any amount of time with me in the past year, you know how excited I am for September 2017 to begin. Last year on Labor Day Weekend (for those outside the US, the first couple of days in September), Grace and I went camping near the Sierra Nevada mountains in the Eastern part of California, and we spent the whole time talking about driving to Alaska in exactly one year. Dreaming about where we'd go along the way, how much Casper would love it, and (real talk) how/whether we could afford it. In a lot of ways, that camping trip feels like just a few weeks ago, and I cannot believe that September 2017 is already HERE. But of course, the past year has changed us, too. We have grown and adapted and one member of the Alaska trip dream team is no longer with us. And Mr. Willie has joined us.

A few days ago, less than a week before leaving for Alaska, I bawled my eyes out when it suddenly hit me afresh that Casper isn't coming with us (physically) on this trip. I probably looked incredibly psycho as I cradled his cedar box of ashes and just lost it. Why I am writing this down? Just to try to convey all that this trip means to us. A year ago when we dreamed this trip into existence, I thought, this will be FUN. I will get AWESOME PHOTOS. We will be CAREFREE. Now, I think about it differently. The trip will be meaningful. We will get to know each other more deeply and grow in our relationship and in faith. We will see beautiful places on this earth and stand in awe of it. I want my goals for September (which look very different from my typical monthly goals) to reflect that.

I don't often talk about spiritual beliefs or faith on this blog, but this past Sunday we received a beautiful traditional Celtic blessing at our church that was so perfect for our upcoming journey that I just had to share it.

“Deep peace of the running wave to you.
Deep peace of the flowing air to you.
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you.
Deep peace of the shining stars to you.
Deep peace of the gentle night to you.
Moon and stars pour their healing light on you.
Deep peace of Christ,
of Christ the Light of the World to you.
Deep peace of Christ to you.”

So, how did I do on my August goals?

• Simplify and prepare my work/home/heart for ALASKA! Yes. I feel so ready.

• Match quiet nights to read, journal, and rest with early mornings to exercise (on nights that I stay in, I wake up early the next day!) Not the best. Why is this so hard?

• Leave my job, and my replacement hire, equipped and with a clean slate. Yes! Today is my last day at my current job, and though it's hard to give up the reins, I feel I left everything in a good place.

• Set up my new phone to sync with my car bluetooth, transfer notes and photos, and set up my email (this could probably take some people an afternoon . . . but these things are challenging for me so it has to be a monthly goal, haha!) Amazingly yes.

• Host Grace's sweet parents for a week in LA. Yes. One of my favorite weeks of the summer!

• Spend at least a few minutes of each day in silence (inspired by this article I read recently) Yes.

And now, my September goals!

• Be active as much as possible, especially on long car ride days

• Find ways to serve Grace throughout the trip

• Keep up with journaling, reading, and some blogging from the road

• Take in moments with my eyes, not just my camera

We leave tomorrow morning bright and early! I have never used the Instagram Stories feature before (grandma status), but I am planning to start using it during our trip in case anyone is curious to follow along and see some of the parts of the US and Canada we'll be driving through! You can follow along on my Instagram here :) Happy September!

The Making of Red Rover

I can't put into words how excited I am that Grace's new song and video has now been shared with the world! She released it yesterday after having kept it mostly "secret" for months. Red Rover is the name of the song, and it will be part of an E.P. coming soon! If you haven't seen the music video yet, watch it below:

You might notice a familiar face in the video . . . it's true, Grace convinced me to play a role in the video and to be honest it was so much fun. I was very hesitant initially but what made it so comfortable and easy was that literally every person involved in this song and video--from recording the song, to storyboarding the music video, to filming, to editing, to hair and makeup--is one of our dear friends. Grace and I are lucky to have such talented and generous friends here in LA, and working with them on this music video was a dream! Here is a rundown of the people involved in this project:

Original song written and performed by Grace Baldridge

Music recorded at our friends Jack and Zack's studio, Big Bad Sound

Video directed by Irina Nichita 

Produced by Amir Nikoui (he is also the executive producer for Grace's shows on TYT!)

Filmed and Edited by Mary Ignatova 

Hair and Makeup (and general cheerleader on set) by Tina Tozzi

 and finally, Craft Services and "Acting" by yours truly.

About to start filming in downtown West Hollywood

If you're like me, you know nothing about producing any kind of professional-level video, but thankfully these people are in the business and pulled it off seamlessly. I am still in awe of what they were able to create, and I thought it would be fun to share a little behind-the-scenes today! Also, we did take a road trip with Willie while filming, so this was a very on-brand music video shoot for Have Dog, Will Drive.

Believe it or not, this entire video was shot in two (very long) days. Because our "crew" was only 6 people including Grace and me, it was all hands on deck at all times! We all helped with things like setting up lighting and arranging props. Fun fact, I found myself in the middle of the desert digging a hole for a fire pit at one point:

But backing up, here's how the weekend went:

On Saturday morning, the crew showed up at my apartment to film the bedroom scene as well as the final scene where I close the spell book. Seeing lighting equipment, huge cameras, and monitors in my apartment was pretty wild! Irina talked to Tina about what kind of "look" she wanted for this scene, and Tina did Grace's and my hair and makeup based on that.

We used a metal C-stand to create the look of a sheet-fort over the bed. While filming this scene, Amir was about 2 feet away from us holding a fan to create some movement, haha! We were all in very close quarters. Also, the weekend we shot the video was the hottest of the whole summer--about 100 degrees. We were totally wiped out by the end of it from the heat, and staying hydrated was a big priority throughout the shoots.

Next we shot the scene where I throw the roses at Grace. Willie was nearby the whole time acting very mischievous and distracting us! A fun fact from this scene was that we only had one bouquet of roses and I threw them about 10 times until we got the perfect shot. I guess we could have gone and bought more roses, but we were working on kind of a tight schedule. So each time after I threw the roses, we would carefully collect them from the ground, pick out any crushed petals, and reassemble the bouquet so that I could throw it again.

After that, we headed to downtown West Hollywood to film the scene with the teddy bear. We wanted to wait until dusk, so we killed some time by all getting frozen yogurt at Yogurt Stop--if you haven't been, it's an amazing gay-themed fro-yo place in West Hollywood. 

Tina and me goofing around in front of the rainbow wall at Yogurt Stop

Filming the scene where Grace gives me the teddy bear was probably the time where I had to "act" the most, because it had to look like I was actually surprised by the bear but also laughing at how cheesy it was. In the end, almost none of that made it into the video, but it was a fun/interesting exercise. Also, Mary came prepared with about 5 different bears in case we needed to swap them out (particularly when we burned them later in the desert fire), which she referred to as "doppelbears."

The next day, Sunday, was desert day! First we went to Tina's house to get our hair and makeup done. We then drove out to the Lucerne Valley Desert, about 2 hours Northeast of LA, to shoot the desert scenes. Grace and I listened to Red Rover in the car on the way there to get into the right "vibe" for the shoot :)

En route to the filming location

Our base camp for the desert shoot

We were out in the desert for several hours, and it was HOT. The only time I was in a scene was right at sunset, so leading up to that I was in charge of keeping everyone fed and hydrated (which I lovingly called my Craft Services job). I also was the celebrity dog handler, keeping Willie and Mia (Amir and Irina's adorable Frenchie) safe in the shade and drinking plenty of water.

My Craft Services lunch spread for our crew

Willie and Mia keeping cool in the shade under the trailer

As the sun started to sink lower, we worked on the more "dramatic" desert scenes. We had to dig a pit for the fire ring and collect rocks to set it up. We really did burn all of the objects (rest in peace teddy bear), which made me really nervous because I didn't want to start a wildfire! Just to clarify, we made the fire in an area where we were allowed to do so, and other than it being hot, there weren't any conditions that would make it unsafe to have a fire. We weren't irresponsible about it. But that said, it was still a little nerve-wrecking to be burning all of the items from the video. Especially because we only got one take for each! 

When it came time for my scene in the white dress, we only had about 5 minutes of sunset to work with. Amir was using a leaf blower to create the effect of wind. And with every step I was wincing in pain because I was stepping on thorny sand spurs! Ouch. I think I complained to Grace about it the whole drive home. Ultimately, I don't think those things showed through in the video, so it all turned out fine. Also, for anyone who's curious, Amir created the effect where I disappear by putting a pink scarf over the end of the leaf blower and then letting go so that the scarf flew in front of the camera. Mary then edited the video so that I wasn't standing there anymore once the scarf flew by.

Here are some more behind-the-scenes glimpses:

Grace with our glamorous director, Irina

Grace freestyling in between takes

Touching up hair and makeup before filming my scene

Some more trivia and stories from filming:

I purchased both the nightgown from the bedroom scene and the white dress from the desert scene the day before shooting. The nightgown was $4.99 at Goodwill, and the white dress was also inexpensive, from Forever 21. I tried on a few long white dresses in the store and texted photos to Tina, Grace, and Irina, and they unanimously agreed on the one I ended up wearing. All of the other clothes I wore in the video were things I already had. You'll notice that I exclusively wear white or light colors in the video, while Grace wears black. That's a pretty good representation of our real-life wardrobes, too, so it wasn't hard!

The spellbook is actually a personal family heirloom of mine. You might notice in the video that the title of the book is "Mrs. Beeton's Savouries and Hors D'Oeuvres." Beeton isn't my last name, but one side of my family is the Beeton Family, and my family on both sides is from England through and through. "Mrs. Beeton's" was a series of English books on household management and cooking, and most of the women in my family have a copy of these now out-of-print books. My godmother gave me my copy. Grace and the crew thought it had the perfect "look" of a spellbook, because it's authentically very old and well-loved. If any of my family is reading this, don't worry--we took great care of the book during filming!

On the drive home from the desert, Grace and I were craving ice cream or milkshakes and said out loud how perfect it would be if we passed a Sonic. I have never seen a Sonic in California (I know they exist but they aren't common where we live). Well lo and behold, about 30 minutes into our drive we passed a Sonic and started screaming and pulled over. However when we drove up to where you order, there was a huge sign saying they were out of ice cream and milkshakes! It was a cruel twist of fate. (If you're worried, we ended up stopping somewhere else for shakes about 15 minutes later, haha!)

Ever since we wrapped filming, I have been so excited to see what Mary would create through the process of editing all of the raw footage from the weekend. I couldn't be happier with the result. I'm so proud of Grace and of our friends. Keep an eye out for the full E.P. soon!

Road Trip Capsule Wardrobe + Gear

Do you want to know a little secret that shows just how neurotically excited I am for this trip to start? I'm already packed. Yep, my bags are even zipped up and sitting under my bed, ready to go. I have memories of trying to fit everything into my suitcase the night before leaving to study abroad in college, crying, stressed, and having BAD pre-travel jitters. For this trip, I wanted things to be different! While I still sometimes have a nagging feeling that I could be forgetting something important, for the most part I feel good about what I've decided to bring.

A few months ago, Grace had to sit me down for a little chat. We weren't going to be bringing large suitcases on this trip, she gently told me. 3 pairs of shoes each would be the maximum. I guess she has this idea that I'm an overpacker. No idea why she thinks that . . .

Moving on. After Grace broke the news, I started thinking right away about bringing a capsule wardrobe instead of trying to come up with specific outfits for the trip. I had read blogs about using capsule wardrobes for travel (and even just day-to-day life), and the idea really appealed to me. If you aren't familiar, this is the gist of a capsule wardrobe: you pick a relatively small number of clothing items (for a vacation, let's say 12) that are all part of the same color scheme and can be mixed and matched. Each item must go with all of the other items. You can't have a crazy shirt that only matches one of your pairs of pants. Even accessories should be pared down and intentionally chosen to go with everything. A novel concept, but it also made a lot of sense to me! I did something along these lines when Grace and I took our Europe trip last spring. That was easy because it was damp and rainy . . . I just brought a bunch of dark clothing and one big trench raincoat and basically wore the same thing over and over. If you want to read more about capsule wardrobes, the blog Un-Fancy is awesome and has tons of resources on them.

But, the one thing that has always bugged me about capsule wardrobes is that they seem to be geared toward people who wear a lot of shirt-and-pants combos. It's all about having things that match, so it's aimed at a rotation of shirts with pants/shorts/skirts. The problem is, 90% of my wardrobe is dresses. I wear dresses (or sometimes a top and a skirt) almost every. single. day. I'm just not a pants gal! It's not my style. For capsule wardrobes, that makes things tricky because you can't mix and match as much. A dress is your whole outfit, plus shoes and accessories. So with that in mind, I decided to make my own variation of a capsule wardrobe with the focus being dresses. The result is that I end up bringing a couple more pairs of shoes, jackets, and accessories than a typical capsule wardrobe calls for, because that way I have options to style my dresses (the base of my wardrobe) up or down and get more "looks" out of them. 

The photo above shows a few of the things in my capsule wardrobe for our Alaska trip. You'll notice that for my color scheme I chose neutrals with pale pink as the accent color. I'm also taking a handful of "athleisure" clothing items for long car rides and hikes/outdoor exploring. The list below is a basic snapshot of the stuff I'm bringing:

• 3 casual dresses
• 1 "nicer" dress
• 2 solid color tops (1 black, 1 light pink)
• 1 pair of black ankle jeans
• 1 pair of jean shorts
• 2 casual light/pullover jackets
• 1 medium-weight cardigan
• 1 heavier all-weather coat
• Plus things like athletic clothing, sweatshirts, pajamas, accessories, a bathing suit, etc.

Then for shoes, I'm bringing my favorite pair of ankle booties, sneakers, flat sandals, and maybe rainboots if I can squeeze them in the car without Grace noticing. Haha!

Does the above amount of clothing look VERY small for a month to me? Yes. But, we'll have access to laundry pretty regularly, and like I said, everything matches! So I have confidence that this will work. And I'm pretty proud of how much I limited myself. Having less stuff will make our trip more manageable--the car won't be as overloaded, getting our bags into our hotel or house rental won't be as much of a pain, etc. etc. And that's the overall goal.

As you would imagine and as the first photo in this blog post shows, we are also bringing a bunch of gear and stuff we'll need other than clothing. I feel like every day I think of a new thing that we need (yesterday it was bug spray). I've gone to Target every day for the past 6 days. And while I'm still convinced I'm not thinking of everything, here's a basic overview of the gear we are bringing and what I recommend based on our past experience with camping road trips:

• A good tent (we are so grateful to Grace's aunt Annie, who sent us the most incredible tent for our trip)
• Folding chairs
• Sleeping pads (we use the REI camp beds that are inflatable)
• A sleeping bag or sheets and a cover
• Pillows
• Lanterns and flashlights (and extra batteries)
• Portable chargers for cell phones
• Camera and laptop with chargers 
• Cooking gear: cast iron skillet, spatula, tongs, brushes for grilling, aluminum foil, cutting board, knives, utensils, enamelware plates and mugs, wine opener, bottle opener, can opener, scissors, dish towels and cloth napkins, candles, oven mitts (for taking the cast iron off the fire), long lighters, matches, newspaper for starting fires
• Basic kitchen essentials: oil, vinegar, salt and pepper, other most-used spices, tea and coffee
• Kettle for heating water and pour-over apparatus for making coffee
• Big bag of favorite non-perishable car snacks
• Sunscreen
• First aid kit
• Basic toolbox
• Lint roller
• Sponge + biodegradable dish soap for washing dishes at campgrounds
• Small shovel/trowel
• Trash bags
• Toilet paper
• Paper towels
• Plastic zip-lock bags (I try not to go crazy with these . . . but there ALWAYS seems to be uses for them on the road)
• Maps/guidebook such as the Milepost (for driving to Alaska specifically)
• Bug spray
• Umbrella and/or other foul weather gear (we are going to be encountering many, many different climates on this trip--from 100 degrees in Utah to possible snow in Alaska and British Columbia)
• Portable fan (my brother recently gave me the most amazing fan that can clip to the top of your tent and be a ceiling fan for inside the tent--thanks, Blair!)
• Gallons of water and water bottles
• Dog stuff: food, water and food bowls, treats, long line (basically like a 20-foot long leash that we use to keep Willie nearby when we're cooking or whatever at a campground and don't want him to wander off, but don't want to have to hold him on a leash), Lambchop (Willie's baby), flea and tick medicine if needed, blanket (Willie likes to make nests), memory foam mat (we use this in a pinch for a dog bed or for Willie to lie on while we're doing other things around the campsite), raincoat and fleece coat
• Travel documents and essentials (passports, Canada parks pass, rabies certificate for Willie)
• Laundry bag to collect dirty clothes until we can do laundry
• Personal toiletries

This list would need to be adjusted based on the type of road trip, but this is most of what we're planning on bringing with us! 

If you have any capsule wardrobe tips or tips on what gear to bring on a month-long road trip to Alaska, I'd love to hear it! Happy trails :)

Amateur Photography for Camping and Life

Let me start by saying that I am the farthest thing from a professional photographer. A couple of years ago I didn't even really know the difference between shooting in manual and using automatic settings. I don't have super fancy photography equipment, and I have no formal training. BUT, I love to take photographs! I don't aspire to have it be anything more than a hobby, but I am passionate about taking good photos of our adventures and, perhaps most importantly, actually printing those photos so they don't just live on my phone or computer.

I have recently gotten some really sweet and touching messages about my photos as well as questions about what camera I use, etc. Today I want to share a little bit about my journey to going from an occasional iPhone photographer to using a "real" camera and exclusively shooting in manual. 

In summer 2015 Grace and I were preparing for our first big road trip: a weeklong journey North-to-South across California. I wrote about it in this post. It was during that time that I felt inspired to invest in a DSLR camera and no longer rely on phone photos only. I knew we'd be seeing some of the most gorgeous landscapes in the state, and I wanted to create a big book of photos and memories from the trip (I did, and it's one of my most cherished possessions). That summer I saved up and bought a Canon Rebel. Real photographers might be rolling their eyes because I know this is nothing fancy, but at several hundred dollars, it was still a big investment for me and a BIG improvement from iPhone photos. And guess what? Two years later, I still use that camera all the time. It's what I'll be taking with me on our Alaska trip. I might invest in a more powerful camera down the line, but it has been an amazing starter and learner camera for me. If you're curious, here's a link to something similar (the one I bought in 2015 is no longer the current model). 

A photo I took this past spring of my best friend, Anna, on a foggy morning in Malibu

Once I bought my camera, though, it quickly became apparent that I had no idea how to effectively use it. I follow a few photographers' blogs and had always read that beginners should start shooting in manual right away. Using the automatic settings really makes your DSLR more like a point-and-shoot digital camera. And the photos I took using automatic just didn't have that dreamy, light-filled quality that I loved seeing in the work of photographers I admired. That said, I had never heard of ISO, aperture, didn't know how to meter light, or any of that. Around that time (just prior to our 2015 California road trip), I decided to take an online course for shooting in manual on a DSLR. Let me tell you, that was the BEST investment. It totally changed my relationship with photography! I used a course offered through one of my favorite blogs, A Beautiful Mess. I'll link the actual course itself here. I went through each lesson and did the assigned homework over a few weeks, but you can do it at any pace you want. I suddenly knew how to adjust my depth of focus, where to set my shutter speed, how to find the best light, how to take portraits, and more. Total game changer.

My favorite sunset of all time at Pismo Beach, California, in August 2015

Ever since then, I haven't taken any more classes or formal training, but I have been practicing constantly. 99% of the photos on this blog are ones that I have shot in manual with my DSLR (there are a few iPhone photos thrown in too), and I always bring my camera on road trips or weekends out and about. I've heard a saying from a few photographers that I totally agree with: the best camera you have is the one on you. I know so many people who have nice cameras and never use them because they think it will be bulky or they just forget. So training myself to bring my camera with me all the time has been a big part of getting beautiful photos from my vacations and day-to-day life! 

My cutie baby brother up in the clouds on a mountaintop

Over time, things like ISO, shutter speed, and f-stops have become second nature. I've also developed my own shooting style. I really like crisp, clear, light-filled photography. No crazy effects or angles for me. I have friends who are photographers and who underexpose photos or take them in low light, and they look awesome. It's just not my style. If anything, I tend to intentionally overexpose photos in many situations. It's been good to learn what I like my photos to look like and not to emulate the work of others (though of course, we're always inspired by others all the time and that translates to creative pursuits in a good way). 

I'm not a purist when it comes to taking photos. Some of my all-time favorite photos were taken with self-timer on a tripod or balanced on top of a stack of books (for what it's worth, you can still shoot in manual while using self-timer! I do it all the time). I also recently upgraded my iPhone from 2014 for a new iPhone 7+, and the photo quality is AMAZING. In some situations, it's actually (dare I say) better than a DSLR because it's so quick to grab and take a photo, and you don't have to mess with the settings.

My goal is to capture meaningful moments and beautiful settings for Grace and me to look back on. Not to impress people or win any photography awards. We absolutely love to flip through the photobooks I've made from our travels, and I have a few stacks of printed photos lying around my house that guests always thumb through. That's the point. Not for Instagram or anything else online. Photos are heirlooms to me. I love thinking about looking back at my prints, photo books, and framed memories as I get old.

Just a few of my printed photos, photobooks, and journals from over the years.

I hope you enjoyed reading about my philosophy and process for amateur photography! I can't wait to take a billion photos in Canada and Alaska next month!

And of course, the best photo of all is always the one with those you love in it.

Budgeting for a Month-Long Road Trip

As I shared in my post about planning our Alaska road trip, this isn't a cheap vacation by any means. I think a lot of people (including myself, initially) think that a road trip is an economical way to travel. When covering short distances, it is. For example, driving from LA to San Francisco is always going to be cheaper overall than buying a plane ticket. But when you start thinking about being on the road for several weeks or a month, it adds up SO much because you have to pay for accommodations for every single night. Also, Grace and I will be making $0 during the time we are gone--we're not using paid vacation time or anything like that. So I've had to save up about 2 months worth of rent and other bills to provide a safety net for that gap. 

If you're not planning a long road trip or particularly interested in finances and budgeting, you might want to skip right over this post. It's hard to make this stuff anything but dry. However, my hope is that this post will be helpful for someone who is starting to plan a long road trip. Below, I'm going to talk about all of the major categories of budgeting and spending that went into planning this trip, as well as a few random expenses that you might not imagine would crop up!

But first, I want to link to a blog post that was inspiring to me, from photographer Jenner Kutcher who recently spent a month in Hawaii with her husband. She writes, "The truth is, nothing is promised. What would it look like for you to set aside a few hundred dollars each month? What would it look like if you sat down and ran the numbers to see if you could make that dream happen? What would it look like for you to budget so that these dreams could become a reality? When you hear we will be in Hawaii for a month, instead of wondering how we are making it happen or questioning if we won the lottery and didn't tell anyone, understand that when you learn how to budget, save, and spend carefully, you are granted opportunities that might not be in reach otherwise!"

Yes. That is my philosophy for this month-long vacation in a nutshell. I hope this post inspires you to consider the same!

Basic Costs of the Trip Itself:

The first and most obvious cost of a trip like this is accommodations. Per night, our costs of accommodations range from free (thanks to my sweet college bff Anna who is hosting us in Portland), to $30-40 for a campsite, to around $500 for some splurge hotel stays. All in all, we're averaging about $80/night, which isn't too bad in my opinion. But there are clearly some major outliers on either side of that. In some places, we could have certainly saved money and chose not to, but be prepared that in some of the tiny towns in remote parts of British Columbia there is usually 1 dog-friendly motel that costs about $150 a night, and that's your only option. And it might be 100 miles to the next town. I'm personally not comfortable (safety-wise) with pulling over to the side of the road and sleeping in our car, but people do that for sure. So your costs could vary completely based on what type of experience you want to have.

Next, be sure to budget for fuel. We're expecting to fill up once or twice a day (Grace's car can make the drive from LA to San Francisco on one tank of gas, which is a little longer than the average distance we'll be covering per day). I've heard that in Alaska and some remote parts of Canada, gas can be extremely expensive. Gas is sold by the liter rather than the gallon in Canada, and it also is (obviously) going to be in a different currency. I found this formula for translating the price in CAD per liter to roughly the price in USD per gallon: multiply the price per liter by 3.785, and then adjust for the exchange rate (multiply the result by roughly 0.8, based on the current exchange rate).

Food and incidentals along the way. I'm not expecting this to be way higher than our usual cost of food at home (especially given that we live in a very expensive locale to begin with), but I've budgeted a bit extra than usual in this category so that we can try everything we want!

The Backend, "Real Life" Costs:

One thing I was adamant about on this trip was that I wouldn't go into any debt and wouldn't financially disadvantage myself for when we come back (sidenote: we paid for this trip 100% in cash/debit and plan to do so the entire time we are traveling. I know you might be thinking we're crazy for not utilizing credit card points or whatnot, but we are big big believers in just paying for things outright; neither of us has ever had a cent of debt in our lives and we consider ourselves extremely lucky! We love the feeling of the financial side of things literally and figuratively being in the rearview mirror the whole way--we're not the "enjoy it now, pay for it later" type of people. Also, this isn't to say that it's bad to pay for things with credit or that people who use credit cards are necessarily in debt. Take with a grain of salt, this is just our philosophy). So, with all of this in mind, a very real and not-so-fun budgeting portion of this trip has been that I have saved up enough to cover 2 months of living expenses for when I get back. I'll be starting my new job in that time, but I don't want things to be tight, so I built this safety net and I'm so glad I did. I think I will enjoy the trip 10 times more because of it.

More Piecemeal/Random Costs:

• Dog-related stuff if you're bringing a dog (so far, we've paid for: vet bills to make sure he's all set for the trip and get him on parasite prevention for parasites/ticks they have in Alaska that we don't have in LA; a doggy raincoat we had to special order (laugh if you want, but it's probably going to rain on this trip a lot and we want him to be comfortable); pet fees where applicable for hotels and home rentals; food in small bags (you can't bring opened bags of dog food over the Canadian border, so we've had to get several 3 or 4 pound bags of food which is not as cost effective); and probably other things I'm forgetting).
• Car storage if necessary (mine is about $150 for a month if you're curious)
• Canada parks pass if you go after this year (it's free for 2017 but will cost after that)
• Car servicing (Grace's car is only a year old but given that we're putting over 7,000 miles on it in the span of a month, she wanted to get it fully serviced before leaving and budgeted a few hundred dollars for that)
• Essentials to keep in the car (probably budget $100 for this--sealed emergency gasoline if we run out; non perishables food items to keep in the car; toilet paper/paper towels/trash bags; firewood and gallons of water, etc.)
• We already have a decent arsenal of camping gear, but if you are doing a camping road trip and need to buy your gear, this is a big area to budget for!
• Fees due at check-in for hotels, like valet parking, pet fees not included in the rate, resort fees, etc.

How Do I Budget?

If you're interested in the nitty-gritty, here is how I stay within budget all month long. First, of course, I make my budget. I carve out my fixed expenses (rent, car, insurance, internet bill, etc.) plus the amount per month I want to save for Alaska. Then I see how much I can spend on everything else and write out a detailed budget. Day to day, I use a modified version of the envelope system. (If you're not familiar with the envelope system, it's where you use 100% cash and have an envelope for each category of spending. When the envelope runs out, you're done with that category for the month. It's like budgeting training wheels because you can physically see how much you have left. If you want to learn more, I found this blog post about the envelope system very helpful). That said, I am not okay with carrying around everything with me in cash everywhere I go. I live in a huge city, alone. It just doesn't seem smart. So instead, I use my debit card and sometimes cash, and I have a tiny budget notebook that fits in my wallet with a page for each category and the amount for that month written at the top. With each purchase I make, I add up the new total and write it down. It honestly gives me so much peace knowing I'm totally within budget on each category! It has made me feel like I actually have MORE money and can spend more freely than I did when I was just "winging it" (which I was for a long time). For example, for August I budgeted $100 for Willie-related expenses. So far I've gone to the pet store three times and spent $16, $16, and $45. I think in the past, without a clear-cut budget and knowledge of how much I can responsibly spend, in my mind I would have been thinking, "ugh, I've already gone to the pet store three times for Willie and I feel like I'm constantly spending on him!" But now, I know that I safely set aside $100 for him and I'm well within that number. It sounds so nerdy, but I LOVE budgeting because I have no doubts if I'm ever over-spending. Also, as soon as I get a direct deposit pay check, I transfer my monthly trip savings amount to a separate bank account. Just to be candid, I've been saving about $700 per month this year for the trip and to cover two months of living expenses. I transfer that immediately so that I'm not even tempted to eat into it. I'm proud of how well it's gone!

Here's some truth: budgeting this strictly for this trip has been hard for me and not always fun. I have had to pick Trader Joe's over Whole Foods for groceries almost every time (nothing against good ol' TJ's). But the pinch is SO worth it. There's a Dave Ramsey quote that has been inspiring to me throughout this process: "Live like no one else so that later, you can live like no one else." I feel like with how much I have limited myself (I've spent maybe $100 on clothing in the past YEAR, for example), I am living like no one else around me, and that is hard. But on this trip we will also be living like no one else--able to have a whole carefree month of travel, with savings for when we get back, totally paid for in advance. That has been my motivation and it's really worked. If you have budgeting inspiration and tips, I'd love to hear it! I hope this post has been helpful, and as always, feel free to Contact me with questions.

Planning the Drive from California to Alaska--and Back!

Hi there! If you've just found this page through Google and are interested in driving from California to Alaska, you are in the right place. Since blogging our trip, this post in particular has gotten a lot of search engine traffic, so I wanted to write a short new introduction for anyone just starting out on planning their drive. The blog post below, on planning the route, is from August 2017. We drove to Alaska and back in September 2017. If you want to see all of my posts on that drive--recaps, takeaways and musings, recommendations, packing lists, etc.--click here. Overall, if you are thinking about doing this drive, just GO. I was unemployed for a month and threw caution to the wind and had the best month of my entire life (so far). I can't recommend the experience enough. And if you have logistical questions, feel free to ask on my Contact page.

Without further ado, here's the original post on planning the route:

I cannot tell you how excited I am to start a new category on my blog today--our California to Alaska road trip! A big part of the reason I started this blog when I did was to share about this upcoming trip. We dreamed it up a year ago. I'm not exactly sure how it even popped into our heads, but I've wanted to see Alaska my whole life and have never been. When we started talking about going, it quickly became clear that we could not go without Casper. He always loved road trips, and this one (all 7,200 miles of it) would be his crowning glory of all road trips.

One of the clearest memories I have from the "wake" we had for Casper is sobbing to our LA friends and family, barely able to choke out the words, "I just wish he could come with us to Alaska." Even though it stings to remember that day because I was SO incredibly devastated, it's a warm memory, too, because I can still feel the love and physical presence surrounding me during that sob-fest--friends' hands holding mine and arms around me. I remember standing in the kitchen that day with one friend, wondering aloud how this could ever be okay. Will we still go on the trip? How can we do it without our dog? Well, as the weeks have passed, healing has happened. This trip is going to be more meaningful than we ever imagined when we started planning it in 2016. In the car with us will be Willie, Casper's chosen brother, and also a cherished wooden box of ashes, all that we have left of Casper. Yes, we are going to scatter (some, not all of) Casper's ashes on the trip.

But backing up a bit, I want to share our planning process for this trip. I would conservatively estimate that I have spent 100 hours just researching for this trip (not counting the hours we have spent shopping for supplies, talking about it, packing, getting the car ready, etc.). A LOT of that research (probably the majority) has been reading people's blogs who have driven from the continental US through Canada to Alaska. I've learned so much and been so inspired reading about others' travel. Here are a few favorite blogs that detail their trips North:

Gone with the Wynns--amazing blog written by a couple who drove their RV through Canada to Alaska. They have dozens of posts about the journey and provide a lot of detail about things like road conditions, crossing the border, etc.

My Itchy Travel Feet--good practical advice and city-by-city recaps of driving the Alaska Highway

Mali Mish--another good guide to the distance they covered each day

North to Alaska--this is a company, but they have a page called "Community Routes" with dozens of little travel journals from people who have done the trip!

This isn't intended as a criticism of any other blogs, but one thing I felt myself craving when reading about people's road trips to Alaska was detail. I wanted to know everything about their planning process, each stop they made, and just generally how they did it. So get ready for a TON of detail in this post. If you are planning a similar trip (even if you're reading this long after I post it), I would love to answer any questions you have--Contact me!

Though I am a big fan of spontaneous trips (our Yosemite trip was planned in less than a week and our recent Santa Cruz mountains getaway was pretty last-minute, too), the #1 thing I can recommend in planning a trip where you're traversing a continent is to plan it well in advance. From what I've read, in summer months it's totally possible to drive to Alaska with no advance reservations for lodging and without a clear plan of a destination each day. That said, for us this is a trip of a lifetime. In planning it I tried to build in flexibility and room for spontaneity, but I also wanted the best of the best for us. I wanted to stay at the coveted campsites that you have to book the day they become available online (true story, I set my alarm for 5am to book some campsites the minute they opened--and later that day the whole campground was full). I wanted to find a dreamy suite overlooking Vancouver, and I wanted to rent adorable cabins in the wilderness that fill up months ahead of time. Yes, you can fly by the seat of your pants, and that would be fun in a different way. But for all my fellow type-A people reading, here's how we planned our Alaska trip!

Trip Stats:

Origin: Los Angeles, California

Farthest Point: Anchorage, Alaska

Ending destination: Los Angeles, California (7,200 miles total; 123 hours in the car--almost the distance of driving between my hometown of Raleigh, NC, and Los Angeles three times).

Dates on the road: September 2 to September 25, 2017

States and Provinces Covered: California, Nevada, Arizona, Utah, Idaho, Montana, Alberta, British Columbia, Yukon Territory, Alaska, Washington, and Oregon.

International Border Crossings: 4

Time Zones: 3

Here's a map of our route (as you'll see, we're taking one way up and another way back down, so we can see more of the continent). Taking the seemingly-less-direct route through Utah, Idaho, Montana, and Alberta on the way up only adds a few hours to the entire trip, and it lets us see Banff and Jasper National Parks in Canada.

Planning Timeline:

10-12 months out: decide dates and destinations within the trip. Grace and I did this over two days at favorite coffee shops, looking at a map and doing a lot of googling where to stay and information about the various towns along the way. I ended up tweaking a few things as I later went and actually booked accommodations for each night (i.e., sometimes I would end up picking a town 30 minutes further down the road if it had better hotel or campground options, etc.), but it was really helpful to have a general structure that Grace and I had agreed on together for each day of the trip.

6-10 months out: reserve accommodations for the trip during this time. The reason I did this over such a long span of time was because (a) I didn't want to drop around $2000 on accommodations all at once (sidenote: this trip hasn't been cheap as far as road trips go. I am going to talk about the financial side of things and budgeting in a separate post coming soon); and (b) some reservation windows didn't open until a certain number of months out, especially for campgrounds. So instead, over a period of 5 or 6 months I made reservations little by little. The first things I booked were Airbnb's and campsites (especially at the more desirable places like Banff and Jasper) because those tend to fill up quickly. Hotels seem to have more availability. It might seem daunting to book accommodations for several weeks' worth of travel, often only staying one night in each location, but it's the BEST feeling when you book everything. We have over 20 different reservations for our road trip, and the day I booked the last one I opened a bottle of champagne to celebrate. That was back in May--and having it all done months before our trip even begins has allowed us to go into it relaxed, not frantic.

Also 6-10 months out: locate your passports if you're driving through another country, make sure they won't expire within 6 months of your travel, and look into car insurance for the country you'll be going to if necessary. 

4-5 months out: decide what you're going to do with your job, home, car (we're taking Grace's car and I normally park on the street and don't want to leave it out that long, so I'm putting mine in storage), etc. If you're going on a trip as long as ours, it's probably a good idea to figure out how that will work with your job well in advance.

2-3 months out: start thinking about packing lists, supplies, and dog-related needs if you're bringing a dog. Canada has certain requirements for bringing a pet (as well as pet food) over the border, so we made a special appointment with our vet to talk about it. 

1 month out/last few weeks before leaving: purchase supplies you will need, get your car serviced to make sure it's in tip-top shape for the drive, call your credit card company to make sure they know you'll be traveling and won't freeze your card, get some cash (including Canadian dollars) in advance, set up an international cell phone plan (I have Verizon and they have a good deal for using your phone in Canada), pack your bags, and say goodbye to friends and family for a few weeks!

How I Have Prepared and Stayed Organized:

A couple of weeks ago (at the one-month mark 'til leaving for our trip), I surprised Grace with this:

Now affectionately called "The Book." It is the product of months and months of research, planning, saving, booking, and more. Basically, I have a tab for each day of the trip and under that tab I have a printout of our accommodations reservation (whether campsite, hotel, or vacation rental), a list of addresses and phone numbers we need, a breakdown of roadside attractions and recommendations, and details like what time the sun rises and sets (we are changing time zones frequently and sometimes the sunset time will shift by as a much as an hour from day to day on the trip). I also have maps for each area where we'll be spending time. Making something with this level of detail might not be your travel style, and that's fine! But we want to be able to unplug and not look at our phones as much as possible, so that's why I made The Book instead of planning on using apps or notes on my phone constantly.

Before The Book was complete, I used (and still use) a google spreadsheet to keep me organized. This was especially helpful while I was going through the slow process of booking all of our accommodations. Here's a screenshot of my setup (with the exact places we're staying removed--sorry Internet, but I don't want to put the exact day and campsite number of where we'll be camping--after our trip is over I'll be more than happy to share every single detail of where we slept).

As you're probably gathering from this post, my dream and heart for this trip is that it will be carefree, without the need to find a place to stay on the fly or do research while we travel. With that in mind I've tried to be extremely detail-oriented and do everything I can possibly do ahead of time. An example of that is pre-ordering our Canada Parks Discovery Pass, which you have to have to go into the Canadian National Parks (seen in the first photo of this post). This year they are free to celebrate Canada's 150th anniversary of confederation (such a happy coincidence once I found that out--we had no idea when we planned this trip), but you still have to get a pass and hang it in your car. They take about a month to ship. I'm glad I found that out back in February or March, because now we can breeze right into the parks without having to wait at a ranger station or get in line to get a pass. I'm hoping little things like that will make our travel smoother, especially on days when we're cramming a lot in.

Good Rules of Thumb:

As much as Grace and I love camping, we also really love being comfortable and well rested. For that reason, we are doing no more than two back-to-back nights of sleeping in a tent on this trip. Three is doable as well, but given how many hours we're spending on the road, we really need to get a good nights' sleep each night. Also, we want to be able to take showers. So for example, once we get into Canada, we are spending our first night there at a campground in Banff National Park.  We are spending the next night at a campground in Jasper National Park. We bookended those two nights in a tent with more traditional accommodations on either side--the night before we get to Banff we are staying in a home rental in Helena, Montana, and the night after we leave Jasper we rented a hotel room in Dawson Creek, British Columbia (yes, like the show! I don't think it's in any way related, though).

If you are planning this trip with a friend or significant other, know that it takes a LOT of work and I really recommend dividing the labor based on what comes naturally to each of you. So for us, I'm the type-A planner and Grace is most definitely not. But she more than makes up for that in other wonderful gifts. She is going to be the driver on this road trip, so I wanted to plan all of the destinations and distances with her to make sure she was okay with it. But for things like hotel and campground reservations, I'm more of the one who loves poring over yelp reviews and selecting the perfect place. So Grace was happy to leave the reservations to me, while she helped structure the outline of the trip. Grace also provided much-needed reality checks for me during the process, something that she's great at. For instance, I got a wild idea that we should try to go to Wyoming and see Yellowstone as part of this trip. Grace (not at all negatively) veto'ed that idea. I'm so glad she did. Planning it with her sense of practicality in the mix helped make this trip something we can actually do, rather than biting off more than we can chew.

Itinerary:

In case you're planning a similar trip, this is the itinerary we are planning on following:

Day 1: LA to St. George, Utah

Day 2: St. George to Antelope Island, Utah (island in the middle of the Great Salt Lake)

Day 3: Antelope Island to Helena, Montana

Day 4: Helena to Banff, Alberta (crossing into Canada!)

Day 5: Banff to Jasper (driving the Icefields Parkway, supposed to be one of the most beautiful drives in the world!)

Day 6: Jasper to Dawson Creek, British Columbia

Day 7: Dawson Creek to Fort Nelson, BC

Day 7: Fort Nelson to Watson Lake, Yukon Territory

Day 8: Watson Lake to Whitehorse, YT

Day 9: Whitehorse to Tok, ALASKA(!!)

Day 10: Tok to Anchorage, Alaska

Days 11-14: Staying at our "base camp" in Anchorage with various excursions and day trips possible (trying to keep it low key to rest)

Day 15: Anchorage back to Tok

Day 16: Tok to Haines Junction, YT

Day 17: Haines Junction to Nugget City, YT (cutest name award)

Day 18: Nugget City to Bell II, BC

Day 19: Bell II to Telkwa, BC

Day 20: Telkwa to Williams Lake, BC

Day 21: Williams Lake to Vancouver, BC

Day 22: Vancouver to Portland, OR (back in the US!)

Day 23: Portland to Weed, California (yep that's the name of the town)

Day 24: Weed to Berkeley, CA 

Day 25: Berkeley to HOME!

If you are going to make the drive and want pet-friendly recommendations for any of these places, I will gladly let you know where we stayed and how we liked it once we get back from the trip (feel free to Contact me). I also plan on blogging updates during the trip when possible (wifi might be scarce). Hope you enjoyed this glimpse into our planning process! We leave in 16 days!

Willie's Story is On MrsSizzle.com!

This is just a quick post to say that today, my friend Suzanne Donaldson (renowned photographer, writer, blogger--you can read more about her and her website in this article) shared Willie's adoption story on the front page of her incredible website, Mrs. Sizzle! If you are a dog person and don't follow Suzanne's Mrs. Sizzle account on Instagram or read her blog, you should do so immediately. Her theme and tagline is "all things chic pet," which I love. She also has a huge heart for rescue pets. I have admired her blog for years and am so touched that she wanted to repost my story from last month about bringing Willie home. 

You can read Suzanne's feature on Willie here and my original post about adopting Willie here.

Thank you so much, MrsSizzle.com!

Tips for Visiting Yosemite with a Dog

One of my favorite things we ever did with Casper was take him to Yosemite. I described the trip a little bit already in my post about my Top 5 Favorite Road Trips, but I get questions all the time about going to Yosemite and have been wanting to write about it a little more in depth. Also, people often assume that you can't take dogs there. You totally can! It just takes a little more planning.

Side note: this post is about bringing dogs to Yosemite in general, but it's written from the experience of bringing a dog to Yosemite who does not like other dogs. That was a big part of our planning--making sure we structured our visit so we'd have plenty of space to roam and not have Casper run into other pups on the trails. The recommendations I give below are tailored to that. If you are in a similar situation and want more detail about how to avoid other dogs at Yosemite, feel free to Contact me :)

Every now and then I talk to someone who hasn't heard of Yosemite. In case you're in that boat, it's a national park. One of the gems of America. It is located in Eastern California in the Sierra Nevada mountain range, about 5 hours north and slightly east of LA and about 3 hours east and slightly south of San Francisco. Yosemite was one of the first national parks created (only Yellowstone is older) and was really central to the development of the whole concept of having national parks in this country. It is pristine, inspiring, stunningly beautiful, and one of the most amazing and special places I have ever been. I highly recommend it to anyone, as there is something for everyone there. When we went we saw families, solo travelers, people with pets, people using wheelchairs, elderly people, little kids, and everything in between. It is truly amazing! It's one of the things that makes me proud of the United States. When Grace and I went we kept saying "this is like Disneyland but for nature." So incredible.

On the topic of pet-friendly Yosemite trips, I guess I'll start out by explaining what you can't do with a dog. The main thing is that you can't go on any unpaved trails. I'm sure some of those trails are really awesome and worthwhile. But I can tell you from firsthand experience that there was plenty to do staying just on the paved trails, and I don't feel like I missed any iconic Yosemite views or experiences by being limited with a dog. Yes, maybe if you're going to Yosemite for a weeklong trip with your whole extended family, it might be tedious to be restricted to the paved trails. But for a two-day trip like ours, there was more in the park than we could ever do in that time and keeping to the paved portions didn't bother us one bit. The Yosemite website has a great page describing the areas where you can go--when they say "paved," that includes portions of the trails that are wood-planked, as well as bridges.

Look at these responsible Yosemite visitors, staying on the paved pathways.

You also cannot take the shuttles around Yosemite if you have a dog (I'm assuming this would not apply to service animals, but I don't have any personal experience with that). Just to give you a picture, Yosemite is HUGE and you could never walk it all in a day or two. You have to get transported between all of the different sights to see and trails to walk. There are two primary options for getting around Yosemite: driving your own car and stopping at each location/trailhead or parking your car at a central location and then taking the shuttles around the park. I think that most people elect to do the latter because it is less stressful (you don't have to look for parking spots which can be hard to find). But that's not an option with a dog, so that's something to be aware of.

Other than keeping your dog on a leash and using doggy poop bags, the two things I describe above are really the only dog-related rules for Yosemite. That said, I think they are pretty strict and you can get fined for violating them. But besides for keeping those in mind, there is SO much you can do with your pup in the park, and it's such a cool experience for them and you.

If you watched Grace's many Instagram stories of trying to get Casper out of bed or have read my other posts about him, you know that he was not a fan of exercise or long walks. He was an old boy and had a hard life before we adopted him--can you blame him for just wanting to kick back and relax?! But when we went to Yosemite, it was a totally different story, and it was amazing to see. In one morning, he walked 4 miles without a complaint. SO wild for him! I think it was a combination of the cooler temperatures (in the 50s and 60s while we were there), the interesting new sights and smells, and the excitement of the adventure and being included with his moms that kept his energy and mood high. It made me so happy to see him so full of life and energetic. I felt the same way in such a beautiful place!

To get into the nitty-gritty, here is what I recommend if you're traveling with a dog for a couple of days to Yosemite:

First, try to travel in spring or fall. Winter is beautiful, I've heard, but the areas of the park that are open are a lot more limited because of the weather. Summer is SO crowded. We went in March, and it was absolutely perfect. A few roads and trails were still closed from winter, but it was mostly areas that we couldn't take a dog anyway. The crowds were totally manageable. And the weather was sublime. One other benefit to going in spring over fall--the ice from winter is starting to melt, and as a result all of the waterfalls are flowing in full force.

Second, embrace the 5am wakeup call. Seriously. It was my dream to see sunrise over the park, and it was SO worth the early wakeup. A really great thing about Yosemite is that it doesn't close overnight. It is open 24 hours, so take advantage of that! You can get there as early as you want, and I recommend going as soon as it's light outside. We had no line going into the park (there is a ranger station where you have to check in and pay the fee--about $25 for a weeklong pass, I think), but on the way out later that day, we passed about a MILE of cars waiting to get in. The early bird truly gets the worm at Yosemite.

Getting up early and traveling in the spring rather than summer allowed us to have such a peaceful experience--plus, we got some amazing photos of us surrounded by zero crowds in some of the most iconic Yosemite locations!

Third, prioritize what you want to see. During part of our time in Yosemite, we just kind of drove around and pulled over to the side of the road when we saw an area that we wanted to explore, but that was only after we had already checked off all of our must-see items. My favorite areas we saw (these are all dog-friendly) were:

Tunnel View. It gets its name from the tunnel you drive through right before coming to it. This isn't a hike-in spot; it's right on the side of the road. This is the most iconic, postcard picture/perfect spot in Yosemite--see the waterfall in the back righthand side of the photo?! It's just unreal. 

Bridal Veil Falls. This is probably the largest/most impressive waterfall in Yosemite that you can get close to with dog. You can feel the mist on your face when you walk up to it! There is a short hike in to get to it--more like a pleasant stroll, really (it's paved).

This photo and the photo below are just of a little creek that you pass by on the "hike" in to see Bridal Veil Falls. Everything in Yosemite is beautiful--not just the destination at the end of the trail.

This picture as well as the next two below are from the Lower Yosemite Fall Trail (I believe it's also known as the Valley Floor Walk).

Yep, that's snow still on the ground in March!

Mirror Lake. This spot is probably tied for first with Tunnel View as the most beautiful place I've seen in Yosemite. It's so peaceful and, for lack of a better word, reflective. Can you spot tiny Grace and Casper on the left side of the photo below?

This and the two photos below were taken on the Cook's Meadow Loop, an easy stroll through the meadows of Yosemite with beautiful views of mountains and waterfalls in the distance.

The truth is, there aren't any ugly places in Yosemite! Even just pulling over to the side of the road without any marked "attraction" or trailhead, we would get photos like this:

It's a magical place. For anyone who's curious, we stayed in this dog friendly Airbnb located about 20 minutes outside the park. There are lodging options within the park, too, but they tend to be more expensive and were all booked by the time we planned our trip (we planned this only a few days in advance--spontaneous travel to Yosemite is totally possible, but you'll probably need to stay outside the park gates like we did).

If you have any dog-friendly tips and tricks for Yosemite that I haven't mentioned here, I'd love to hear them! I can't wait until we can go back with Willie.

Our Experience in Dealing with Dog Aggression

Let me start by saying that I kind of hate the title of this blog post. I had originally titled it, "Our Training Journey with Casper," which sounds much more cheerful to me. But when I thought about it, the whole point of writing this post is to shed light on what it was like to have a dog with pretty serious dog aggression in the hopes of helping someone who is dealing with that issue. So I wanted to give this post a title that might help others find it. Now that that's out of the way, let me tell you about the sweetest dog in the world :)

If you've read my other posts about Casper (or met him in person), then you already know that he was an angel baby around all humans. Grace and I were always so thankful for that. However, he REALLY could not be around other dogs. We would always have (well meaning) people say to us, "but my dog is SO chill--I'm sure Casper will like him!" And sadly, we always had to respond, "No . . . seriously, Casper will try to kill your dog." But here's the good news: we were able to get Casper's issues in check and give him a peaceful life. It taught me that all things can be redeemed, and I am so grateful for all that we learned in the process.

When I started Have Dog, Will Drive, I knew that I wanted to share about this aspect of our lives with Casper, because while it felt unique (and I'll admit, at times a little isolating) to us, I know there are many others who deal with this to varying degrees. I also have to issue a disclaimer here: our experience is just that--our experience. Every dog is one-of-a-kind. What worked for us might not work for another dog. And there's a lot we won't ever know about Casper's past or what made him tick. I'm sure there are people reading this thinking, "how irresponsible that you would keep a dangerous dog that could hurt someone else's pet." Sorry not sorry, haha! Casper never hurt a fly in the years we had him. Not to toot our own horn, but we were ultra responsible when it came to his safety and the safety of other dogs. We really weren't equipped for his issues at ALL when we brought him home, but we quickly got up to speed and caring for him changed our lives. He's in heaven now, and he's not afraid anymore. He was often stressed and afraid during his time on earth. But we let him spend his final years in a loving place where he didn't have to be as scared, and I will never apologize for that.

Stepping down from my soapbox now.

In case this is the first post you're reading about sweet Casper, here's a little bit of background. He was an 80-pound older pit bull with a dark past. He was most likely fought on an amateur level, and judging by his scars, he lost most of his fights. We didn't know he had dog aggression when we adopted him. However, it quickly became apparent on walks that he would hulk out when he got near another dog. For the first year or so that we had him, going on walks was super stressful. He didn't like it, we didn't like it, and we lived in fear of him having a bad encounter with another dog. We walked him with a muzzle for awhile. 

Within a few months, we started working with a trainer (who was perfectly nice, but I don't recommend and won't link here) who was all about positive reinforcement. She claimed to have worked with many aggressive dogs in the past, but we just didn't see any progress. Casper stumped a lot of dog trainers and behavioralists--they would meet him and say "he's so sweet, like a therapy dog; I can't imagine that he's aggressive." This particular trainer would use a lifelike stuffed animal dog to try to replicate Casper's issues in a controlled setting, but he wouldn't react. We spent hours (and thousands of dollars) getting him to essentially perform tricks and be "comfortable" with Grace as his handler (he was already comfortable before we began the training).

If you can't already tell, I am now a firm believer that this type of training does NOT work for many dogs--especially dogs that are large/have a lot of physical strength, are smart and/or stubborn, or have preexisting behavioral issues. Casper checked all of those boxes. Positive reinforcement training--that is, mostly just giving treats for good behavior--only exacerbated his problems, as we later would learn.

Around the year and a half mark of having Casper, we had pretty much resigned ourselves to his issues. And we were okay with it. Training was going nowhere; he was more terrified and aggressive toward other dogs than ever. We just said to each other, "This is okay. He doesn't like other dogs. He doesn't WANT to like other dogs. What we need to do is just keep him isolated from all dogs and let him live the rest of his life in peace." Right about this time, we got a recommendation from Grace's then-boss. She had heard about a very special dog trainer/dog psychologist who worked in rehabilitating abused dogs and dealing with aggression issues. Honestly, we were skeptical. But we didn't have much to lose (other than more money down the drain, haha) and decided to try it.

Enter Brandon Fouché. There are one or two things that we don't do that Brandon recommended, but for the most part, we drank the "Fouché Way" kool-aid and are big believers in his methods. This post isn't intended as a promotion of his services or a review necessarily; I'm just sharing our experience.

When we contacted Brandon's office, they recommended that we leave Casper for a full-day evaluation, during which he would be integrated with Brandon's "pack." So we dropped him off in the morning. During that entire day, Grace and I were SO nervous. Texting each other things like, "what if Casper hurts or kills one of Brandon's pack dogs? What if we made a huge mistake?" We had read the glowing reviews of people saying he'd changed their dog's life, but it seemed too good to be true. When we went to pick him up, we were incredibly stressed and expecting the worst. We walked into Brandon's office and were shocked, amazed, and crying at the videos Brandon had of Casper calmly standing in the middle of a group of dogs, unflinching. It was unreal. However, Brandon did not "fix" Casper, and it's not like we could immediately release Casper into a crowded dog park. While some of Brandon's testimonials make it sound that way, it's not a brainwashing of your dog so that they no longer have issues. The real work only begins when you pick up your dog from Brandon's facility. But we were willing to put in the work, and it did change our lives with Casper and his relationship with the world and other dogs.

We ended up having about a three-hour training session with Brandon that afternoon--without Casper. The training was for us. We had to learn how to be the alphas. Brandon explained to us that dogs are really just "wolves in dogs' clothing." The pack mentality is so ingrained, and we need to work with that rather than against it. I won't list all of the details here (feel free to Contact me if you want more information about our experience), but basically, Brandon had a strict set of rules for our interactions with Casper. The position he needed to be in the group on our walks, the way we should talk to him, etc. etc.--these were all dictated by Casper's natural position in a pack setting, which Brandon evaluated (in case you're curious, he found that Casper was mentally submissive but physically dominant). All of Brandon's rules were overall fairly minor changes. But they had a dramatic effect. Casper no longer acted fearfully on our walks. We could pass by another dog within a few feet without any reaction. While we understood that because of Casper's past, he would never ENJOY interacting with another dog, it was no longer scary if another dog was nearby. We didn't try to get him to make dog friends, but being able to just go outside with him took the biggest weight off of our shoulders. Casper finally was able to relax because we were no longer (unknowingly) giving him the signal that he needed to protect us. It changed everything.

I'll be the first to admit that the idea of not giving treats for good behavior and not using positive reinforcement didn't appeal to me because it seemed "mean." I wanted to be a loving dog mom, not strict and withholding. But what Brandon advocates is not coldness toward your dog, it's just the implementation of boundaries that will make your dog feel safe and secure in your "pack." I should also emphasize that he doesn't use any physical negative reinforcement--no physical contact, shock collars, etc. It's all about using a commanding voice, using your presence and the way you position yourself on a walk to show your dominance in the pack, and other (non-hurtful!) techniques. I would never, ever, recommend any training method that involved pain for a dog. But having rehabilitated a dog with pretty serious issues, I can confidently say that using purely positive reinforcement isn't doing them or you any favors (in most cases).

The reason why positive reinforcement isn't great (for large/smart/stubborn/aggressive dogs; I'm not commenting on ALL dogs) is because when you give them a treat for just sitting or doing a mindless trick, you're essentially telling them, "you are smarter than I am. You deserve a treat just for doing something that you already know how to do. I praise you because you are the leader of this pack." While yes, in the moment the dog enjoys the treat, it comes with mental baggage for them. It sounds silly, but the dog now thinks, "I am supreme. I get treats for doing something as simple as sitting or doing the 'shake' trick that humans like so much. If they are giving me treats for this simple behavior, then they must be beneath me. Poor humans. I must protect and defend them, and I must lead them on all adventures and outings from the pack den." This leads to increased aggression, stress, and unwanted dominant behavior from the dog. Most dogs are happier in a more lowly pack position--Casper definitely was! This isn't to say you can never give treats, but in my experience it's actually better to give them for no reason, not as a reward. Then, you appear as a benevolent leader to the dog, giving treats when YOU feel like it. If they earn the treat, then they get higher status in the pack. That signals to them that they can climb the ladder and eventually become the alpha, which is unstable for them and stressful. It's all about the way dogs think--which is very different from humans!

I asked Grace whether she had any input for this post, and here is what she said: "If you bring home your dream dog and it later turns out that the dog has some issues, do not despair. If your first attempt working with a trainer doesn't fix anything, do not despair. If your second attempt doesn't work either, do not despair." So true. Another thing Grace says that I really agree with is that if you have a "problem dog," own that label! We were always honest and upfront with anyone who would ask about Casper's issues. On walks, we'd cross the street from a block away if we saw another dog coming down the sidewalk. If people asked if their dog could meet our dog, we didn't beat around the bush--"no, sorry--he's not good with other dogs." I was initially in the camp of thinking this was embarrassing or worrying that people would think I was irresponsible for taking a dog on walks around the neighborhood if he wasn't good with other dogs. But now having seen people on walks who clearly do have a "problem dog" but don't say anything until you're about to pass them and their dog snarls at you, I understand that it IS the responsible thing to do to just be open with friends and strangers that your dog needs space, that he's not good with meeting dogs, etc. Yes, you might get some nervous glances when you say that out loud to a stranger on the street, but it's just so much better to be honest than to act like everything is fine and then have your dog snap at another dog or a person.

One last thing Grace said that I think is so important is that humans can damage dogs and abuse them, but by the same token they can also build them up. Dogs evolved to have us as their masters. Bully breeds especially REALLY want to please. They can be so devastatingly broken by people, but they also respond to and crave love and will be directed by that just as much as they are shaped by abuse, if that's what they experience. 

If you have a dog with aggression issues, there is hope! However, please take this post for exactly what it is: just a chronicle of our time with Casper and what we went through in getting him to a better place mentally. Positive reinforcement might be right for your dog. Brandon's methods might not work. There's no "magic" to any of this. What I will advocate for, though, is working to better understand dog psychology in the course of any training regimen. While dogs did evolve with us, there are still parts of the way they think that run counter to what humans might assume. Dogs are amazing creatures. Wishing you the best of luck wherever you are on your training journey!

Santa Cruz Mountains Getaway

This past weekend Grace and I took Willie on his first getaway with us! As you can see from the photo above, Lambchop of course had to come too.  (Read my Meet Willie post to learn about his baby Lammy, haha!)

This weekend was really special in a lot of ways. It's a first and a last: first road trip with Willie, and last weekend getaway before leaving on our month-long road trip to Alaska. It was also our first getaway since Casper died. The weekend felt full-circle in many senses; to me this sweet time together was our redemption song after the heartbreak we experienced the last time we took a trip. Summer is normally my favorite season, but this one has been marked by loss and has just been a difficult season for many reasons. But summer is almost over. And I have seen time and time again that joy comes in the morning.

The setting for this lovely weekend away was a little town called Corralitos, California. It is in the mountains slightly inland from Santa Cruz, which is just south of San Francisco. We rented a cabin made of river rocks that was nestled in a grove of Redwood trees. It came with its own heated soaking tub and wide front porch overlooking the mountains. The interior was small and cozy but had all the amenities. I would recommend it in a heartbeat (linked above). This was also our first experience using the website GlampingHub, and we liked it! It honestly didn't feel different from renting an Airbnb. A lot of the listings on GlampingHub fall more on the camping side of things, but this one was not. Given that we had electricity, TV, running water, and a roof over our heads, I wouldn't really call this glamping--it was more of a vacation rental. Which was totally fine with us :)

Our porch view

We had originally planned to venture into Santa Cruz, check out the beach, and do some sightseeing during the weekend. But once we got to our destination, we just didn't want to leave. The road coming in was navigable but a little bumpy, and we decided it would be a lot more relaxing to stay at the cabin for the whole weekend. I'm so glad we did.

We played about 15 games of Scrabble, napped, enjoyed the soaking tub, ate well, and talked and dreamed about our upcoming Alaska road trip. Over fresh caprese salads and local peaches one afternoon, we brainstormed packing lists and planned our last to-do items before the trip.

As much as it pains me to say it, Grace insisted that I include in this blog post that she was the overall Scrabble champion of the weekend.

Homemade French toast on the porch

Afternoon naps enjoyed by all

A little stone pathway led down from the house to a wooden soaking tub overlooking the mountains

This might seem like just a pretty picture, but there's a story behind it. One of my best friends, Caroline, gave me a beautiful bottle of rosé for my birthday this year. I brought the bottle with me on our Joshua Tree getaway, but I never got a chance to drink it because Casper died that day. Bringing the bottle with me to the redwoods and sipping it in such a beautiful setting, with Willie waiting for us in the house, was another full-circle moment.

Another really nice thing about the cabin was that it had a piano! Grace has an amazing ear for music and can pick out most tunes on piano or guitar. Some of my favorite memories from the weekend are me cooking dinner while Grace played us music (she brought her guitar, too).

For food, I brought a big cooler of stuff and cooked most of our meals. The cabin had an adorable, old fashioned gas stove. The first night, we decided to order in pizza from Big J's in Corralitos, which amazingly delivered up the tiny mountain road to the cabin. We LOVED it and would highly recommend it. On the way into town on Friday, we also stopped at the Corralitos Market and Sausage Company, where we picked up some fresh produce, seafood, and locally-made ice cream. 

We loved this getaway. While we didn't "do" much, just getting away from it all was heavenly. Also, the much cooler temperatures in the mountains were so lovely compared with the heat waves that have been plaguing LA. On Sunday morning I woke up to walk Willie, and we were literally walking through a cloud. Even at 8 or 9am, fog shrouded the cabin and surrounding trees, making it so cozy and atmospheric. 

Thanks for reading! One last photo--Willie's request.