Our Wedding: Gift Exchange

I’ve always loved the idea of exchanging gifts with Grace before walking down the aisle. Because we didn’t do a first look on our wedding day, giving each other a gift and a message while getting ready was something I was really looking forward to.

Back in 2015, once Grace and I had been dating for about a year in half, I knew marriage was my end game. We both really believed in focusing on the season we were in, and since we were “just” dating—and long distance at that—we did not discuss marriage in anything but the abstract. That meant I spent a lot of time pining for us to end up together and journaling/texting my best friends about it. At some point, I was so antsy to just tell Grace how I felt (but knowing it wasn’t the right time), and somehow I ended up writing Grace a letter pouring out my heart. But I didn’t give it to her. I sealed it up, wrote the date on the outside, and put it in a folder hidden behind my dresser. Through the years that followed, I wrote dozens more letters. Frustrated letters, impatient letters, joyful letters. I kept them hidden and never mentioned a word to Grace. Until our wedding day, August 4, 2018. I bought this house-shaped glass box to hold them all, and had my bridesmaid (and both of our best friend) Tina give it to Grace a couple of hours before we walked down the aisle.

I wrote one last letter explaining the whole thing to her. The box of letters lives in our house now, and every now and then, Grace pulls one out and reads it. It’s been really sweet and funny going through them all now that we are newlyweds.

Knowing that I had this collection of letters to give Grace, I told her I wanted to exchange gifts and gave her some ideas of what to get me :)

I figured Grace would get me some kind of jewelry but what she ended up finding was so meaningful. She gave me a beautiful gold necklace in the shape of a mountain, which looks like one of the first tattoos she ever got and also reminds me of the mountain ranges we saw on our drive to Alaska.

I love it and have been wearing it often since our wedding.

I also gave my parents gifts the day of our wedding, as a small way to thank them for the huge role they played in our wedding day and honor my last day as a Capel.

I gave my dad a gold compass engraved with the words, “I’ll cherish this walk forever” because he was walking me down the aisle.

I got my mom a gold locket that had a photo of her holding me as a baby on one side, and a recent photo of us on the other.

I love the idea of giving meaningful gifts on a wedding day. If you do a gift exchange, make sure to tell your photographer this is something you want captured! I’m so glad we have all of these reactions in photos.

All photos are by Jesse Marble and Jimmy Marble for Our Labor of Love

Our Wedding: Intentional Time Together

One thing I consistently heard as advice from people who have gotten married recently was to make sure we carved out some time on our wedding day to just be together, take a breath, and soak in the fact that we were now married. There is so much pressure to be with your guests who have traveled for your wedding—which is so important!—but it can also be hard to get any meaningful time with your new spouse. While the majority of our wedding day was of course spent with guests, with our families, and with our wedding party, making sure we had some intentional time together was a priority too.

I can think of four separate times on our wedding day when I felt like we got some alone time and could be giddy newlyweds together. Remember, we didn’t see each other before walking down the aisle, so we wanted to be sure to get at least some face time “just us” between the ceremony and the end of the night. They were:

Our Private Dinner. We asked our caterers to set up a small table around the corner from the lawn where our guests’ dinner tables were set up for a quiet dinner just the two of us. We also had two seats at our families’ table, but we quickly ate a separate dinner and were able to really enjoy our wedding food and just talk about the fact that we were now the Baldridges! It was so sweet and I’m so glad we chose to do it that way. Our caterers plated our dinners before the guests ate, so we were able to eat dinner and then rejoin the reception without being away too long. Our guests could also see glimpse of our table, so they weren’t wondering where we were.

Our Sunset Photos. While cocktail hour was going on, our photographers whisked us away for some golden hour magic. We actually got in their car and drove down the hill where they had noticed some beautiful golden grasses growing! Even though we were with our photographers, and not totally alone, this still felt like some time for us to take a deep breath and have fun together. Plus, our photographers are amazing, and it felt like we were sneaking away from the reception to goof off with some old friends :)

Waiting for Our Grand Exit. As I’ll share about in an upcoming post, we had a big sparkly “grand exit” from our reception that I was so excited about. It turned out gorgeous! While the guests were lining up and our wedding party and coordinator were directing everyone, Grace and I waited back inside the ranch house where we’d gotten ready that morning. We probably only had 5 minutes until our exit, but it was so fun to kick up our feet (after dancing all night) and take a minute to reflect on how much fun we’d had at our reception.

Our Getaway Car Ride. After our exit, we hopped into the back of a fun 1983 Rolls Royce convertible I had rented (with a driver so we didn’t have to worry about driving it!). We stayed at the nearby Westlake Village Inn and had about a 10 minute drive from the venue to our suite. Our venue has a very long (2-mile) driveway, and it’s in the middle of a nature preserve, so it’s very quiet. Driving down the driveway with the convertible top down, staring up at the stars and floating on cloud 9, was one of my favorite moments of the night. As much fun as our wedding was, it was even more fun to drive away from it, knowing we were stepping into our new lives!

We left on our honeymoon about 36 hours after tying the knot, so we had plenty of time to revel in our new season of life once we got there. But I still think it was so important that we spent some time on our wedding day itself intentionally focusing on each other and sharing in the joy of the vows we had just made. All told, we spent less than an hour alone on our wedding day, but because those times were so intentional, they meant a lot.

I highly recommend working with your coordinator to carve out these types of moments on your wedding day! We cherished ours!

All photos are by Jesse Marble and Jimmy Marble for Our Labor of Love

Our Wedding: Why We Didn't See Each Other Before Walking Down the Aisle

Grace and I did not see each other from our welcome drinks party the night before our wedding to when I walked down the aisle at 5:30pm on our wedding day. I knew from the beginning of wedding planning that I wanted to keep our wedding day very traditional in many ways, this being one of them. But I was surprised at how some of our vendors assumed we were doing a “first look” and how we even got push back from some prospective vendors on this (we didn’t hire any of them!).

For those who haven’t heard of it, a first look is when the couple sees each other in their wedding attire prior to the ceremony to take some photos and potentially avoid being as emotional walking down the aisle. I have nothing against first looks and think it’s a great choice for some couples. But I’ve always dreamed of walking down the aisle in my beautiful gown to my future spouse and seeing them for the first time that day. My mom had never even heard of a first look and many people in her generation seem to be surprised at the concept. But for people getting married these days it’s incredibly common. There are so many photographers and wedding blogs promoting the idea of doing a first look that I want to add a dissenting opinion: seeing each other for the first time when walking down the aisle is incredibly meaningful, and while we were both nervous prior to the ceremony, I’m so, so glad we kept with tradition on this one.

Yes, it’s old fashioned, but hanging with my best friends all day, hearing tid bits of what Grace was up to from girls running between the two bridal suites, and not seeing her until our ceremony gave me butterflies like nothing else and was so much fun. Because we knew our nerves would be running high, Grace and I decided to exchange a few texts the morning of our wedding, telling each other how excited we were.

Having a huge wedding party also helped, and we both got lots of pep talks and shared excited jitters with our best friends.

This is my best friend who also happened to set me up with Grace 5 years ago. She gave me the best pep talk when I was getting super nervous leading up to walking down the aisle.

After keeping my dress a secret for almost 9 months and not seeing Grace for about 16 hours before our ceremony, it was the most special thing in the world to walk down the aisle to her. I didn’t even notice our beautiful floral arch or “floating” white and green florals at the entrance to our aisle (you can see in the first photo in this post) until later, because I was so transfixed on Grace as soon as we locked eyes. Being able to finally hold hands and face each other was more joyful than I can ever describe. I know some wedding traditions are rooted in outdated ideas, but no matter the history, this one was beautiful.

Also just a reminder (this might be obvious) that just because you’re not a “traditional” bride-and-groom couple doesn’t mean you can’t claim traditions like this one as your own! I think part of the reason some prospective vendors were surprised at us waiting to see each other until our ceremony was precisely because we’re a gay couple. But I for one think there is nothing wrong with being old fashioned. You can look like a less traditional couple but still have an old fashioned love story, and I think that’s beautiful.

The one tricky thing about not doing a first look is that all of your wedding portraits as a couple have to be taken after the ceremony. But for us, as I’ll share in another post soon, having our wedding photographers whisk us away for some fun and beautiful sunset portraits together was one of my favorite parts of the night. I didn’t feel that not doing a first look hindered us at all in terms of getting amazing photos, but you do have to be sure to plan your whole day around the light. The sun didn’t set until almost 8pm on our wedding day, so we had a lot of time to take great pictures. If you’re having a fall or winter wedding, it’s a little more difficult, but I believe it’s still doable.

We had some prospective photographers doubt the ability to make our timeline happen without doing a first look, and our photographer’s willingness to go along with our vision was a big reason why we hired her. I encourage you to make it happen if waiting to see each other until walking down the aisle is something meaningful to you!

All photos are by Jesse Marble and Jimmy Marble for Our Labor of Love

Our Wedding: Reception

After becoming the Baldridges and taking our first photos as married couple at sunset, joining our reception felt too good to be true. It was so much fun! All of our favorite people were in one place, everyone was enjoying a delicious dinner, and our incredible 9-piece live band got everyone dancing. We wanted our reception to feel like an easy, romantic summer party under twinkling string lights on the sweeping lawn of a family home.

We decided to have long tables with low floral arrangements and cozy votives candles (battery powered because of California’s fire risks) so that guests could easily carry on conversation across the tables and not be blocked by large flower arrangements.

As guests moved through the buffet and ate dinner, we were able to stroll from table to table and quickly hug and speak to each of our guests. It was really important that we get some face time with everyone there, since so many people had traveled so far.

As dusk fell, we had our first dance as a married couple! We danced to Let’s Stay Together by Al Green, which we’ve always said was “our song” since 4 or 5 years ago :)

Our band did a great job covering the song!

Having a great live band was one of our biggest dreams and splurges for our reception. It was so worth it and everyone raved about how good they were! We used the Lucky Devils Band.

After our first dance, everyone joined in and I was SO happy to see everyone dancing.

Our dance floor under a canopy of oak branches and beautiful lights was so magical. I was so glad we were able to pull off a big outdoor dance party!

We took a break between the band’s sets for some toasts. Our siblings gave a group toast, my mom said a few words, and lastly Grace and I got up to thank everyone for coming.

Later we cut the cake and popped some champagne!

I had our custom wedding cake toppers made through this Etsy shop

We had so much fun and truly never wanted our reception to end! But having a big sparkly grand exit and beautiful getaway car to look forward to helped, and in the end, driving away from our wedding was the best feeling of all because we knew we were stepping into newlywed life. I’m so glad we had an amazing party to celebrate our marriage, but real married life is even better. We’re so grateful!

All photos are by Jesse Marble and Jimmy Marble for Our Labor of Love

Our Wedding: Catering

Today I am sharing all about our wedding food! Having really delicious food was a huge priority at our wedding. We probably talked to more potential caterers than any other vendor. We realized we had two big decisions to make: what to serve and how to serve it. I am so happy with what we ended up with. We decided to center our menu around vegetables, breads, grains, and seafood, which reflected the outdoor summertime Southern California feel of our wedding.

We ended up booking Fundamental LA after our tasting with them because they offered a bunch of fun extras that went above and beyond the standard fare other caterers proposed. As just a few examples, we had a passed “raw bar” during our cocktail hour (raw oysters and sea salt-poached shrimp), a cheese and mezze station for guests to graze before dinner was served, a s’mores cart with torched-to-order s’mores alongside our wedding cake, and deliciously creative main dishes. Our tasting was so much fun!

After trying Fundamental’s food, we decided to serve three passed appetizers: seafood on ice, fig and ricotta bites, and veggie burger sliders. We also had the cheese and mezze station set up during cocktail hour.

For dinner, we opted for a buffet set up. It fit with the laid-back, fun outdoor party we wanted for our reception. At our buffet we served the BEST mac n cheese, blistered green beans, dill and walnut crusted salmon (probably my favorite dish we served), a cauliflower shakshuka bake with tahini-yogurt dressing, and a chopped salad with roasted tomatoes and burrata. We also had a selection of breads on the tables for guests.

As I will share about in an upcoming post, Grace and I chose to eat a quick dinner by ourselves before joining the reception to greet our guests, so we actually ate a full meal of our wedding food! After hearing so many stories of couples who don’t eat a thing at their own weddings, this was important to me. Our wedding food was amazing so I’m happy we were able to enjoy it!

For dessert, we served wedding cake by Susie Cakes, and Fundamental had torched-to-order s’mores for our guests. Our wedding cake was three different flavors (one per tier): red velvet, carrot cake, and coconut-pineapple cake. I can’t wait to eat our top tier on our first anniversary in about 9 months! It’s in our freezer right now :)

If you’re in LA, I highly recommend trying Fundamental LA’s food! They have two locations (one in Westwood and one Downtown) and everything is delicious!

All photos (other than my photos from our tasting) are by Jesse Marble and Jimmy Marble for Our Labor of Love

Our Wedding: Bridal Party Attire

As you can see from the photo above, we had a huge wedding party. Involving our loved ones in our wedding and rolling deep (as our florist said-haha) was a major part of our vision for our wedding, and I loved it. But it did mean having to figure out a lot of logistics when it came to creating a cohesive look for our bridesmaids and bride’s men (or bride’s butlers as I like to call them).

While having 10 bridesmaids each might seem excessive, I can’t tell you how much it meant to both of us. I’ll be writing more about this in depth, but our wedding was the first gay wedding either Grace or I attended. I was (and still am) a strong believer in the idea that our wedding was just a WEDDING, not a “gay wedding,” but let’s face it, our wedding was still different than 99% of the weddings most of our guests had been to. Knowing that, we kept with tradition on a lot, but we also felt free to set things up the way we wanted. Having all our besties up there with us as we said our vows was part of that. As a kid coming out, you worry about how you’ll be accepted by your friends. And when Grace and I imagined our future wedding when we were young, I think we both had a cloud of uncertainty over it.. would we be legally allowed to? Would people want to celebrate with us? Would it be weird?

Having 20 people—yes, TWENTY—in our wedding party felt like a redemption song after years of worry. We feel so lucky. Now, onto what they wore!

With 16 ladies and 4 men in our wedding party, I knew that asking all the women to wear the SAME dress would be ridiculous. I’m pretty sure the height variation among our bridesmaids went from 5’1 to 5’11. Plus, I had always loved the “mismatched bridesmaids dress” look, if done right.

Grace and I came up with this color palette—cool blues, soft pinks, and some grays and periwinkles mixed in—on our drive back from Alaska right after we got engaged. We were in the car watching a sunset and Grace commented how pretty the blues and pinks streaked across the sky were. We had been talking about wedding colors and decided to model them off of that, particularly given the meaning that trip held for us.

Once we got back, I started gathering some inspiration pictures so we could give people an idea of what we had in mind. I also found links online to dresses in a range of prices that would work well for what I had in mind. Once I had collected all of that, I sent out a huge email and Google Docs spreadsheet to help all the bridesmaids figure out what we had in mind for dresses. Even though I sent a few specific dresses as examples, I also left it open for people to find their own dress that fit the palette. Everyone sent me photos as they tried on dresses over the next few months, and I even got to go with one of my friends in person since she lives in LA! Many of Grace’s bridesmaids live in Europe, so I’m glad we had it be flexible since it would be hard for them to find the same dresses as the girls in the US were buying.

With 16 different bridesmaids shopping for dresses, I truly had no idea what the whole palette would look like together until our wedding day. To say I was thrilled with how it turned out would be an understatement.

Our friends have great style :) I was blown away by how beautiful everyone looked, both individually and as a group! I am so grateful to everyone for going along with my vision, and I LOVE looking at the photos of the whole group together. I’m biased, but I think it looked stunning.

These colors! Such eye candy.

For the guys, we had they all wear the same exact suit as Grace, from Suitsupply. The only difference was that they all wore the jacket, while she wore the vest. I had them all pick out ties that would match the bridesmaids’ color palette, but in the end, it was too hot to wear them! And I think the open-collar look works with the Southern California outdoor vibe of our wedding.

I absolutely loved the way our bridal party looked all together, and I recommend the mismatched look if you have a large party! I think it worked because everyone had a dress that worked for THEM and their body and style :) We love our bridesmaids and bride’s butlers so much!

All photos are by Jesse Marble and Jimmy Marble for Our Labor of Love

Our Wedding: Bride & Bride Attire

While I always knew I wanted to wear a dreamy white dress on my wedding day, Grace didn’t have a lot of examples of what someone with her style might wear. Today I am sharing both of our (very different) processes for finding our wedding look! Grace did not see my dress until the moment I walked down the aisle, but I helped Grace figure out what she wanted to wear (and get it custom fitted) and as a result she didn’t want to hide it from me until the wedding.

I loved the way our outfits looked together on our wedding day, and I was especially glad Grace loved her wedding attire, as someone who had to “go rogue” without a lot of examples of what her wedding outfit could be.

Finding “The Dress”

Going into wedding dress shopping, I knew a few things: I wanted a very classic look, I did not want a strapless dress, I wanted a lot of tulle and volume in the skirt, and I wanted to keep my dress a complete surprise from Grace and almost everyone else (a few bridesmaids saw photos beforehand, but my dad didn’t even see my dress until my wedding day!).

The day after Thanksgiving when I was in my hometown (Raleigh, North Carolina), I went to a local bridal boutique called Traditions by Anna with my mom, my sister, and one of my oldest friends and bridesmaid to try on gowns. But before we headed out that day, I had to look through my parents’ wedding album for some inspo. Doesn’t my mom look so classic?!

Because this was going to be my first time trying on any wedding dresses, I wasn’t that concerned with whether or not I would find “my” dress that day. But as I went through the store and saw so many stunning gowns, I started to get a strong feeling that I would find my dress there.

I pulled 7 dresses to try on, and honestly, I could have ended up with almost any of them. They all felt magical and I was feeling smitten with several. The dress I ended up getting was the last one I tried on. My mom had mentioned beforehand that she was really excited to hear Traditions by Anna carried Carolina Herrera, as she had always loved that designer and would love if I ended up in one her gowns. Well, sure enough, the Carolina was the last dress I tried on, and we all agreed, it was perfect.

I wasn’t an emotional mess by any means when I found my dress. I didn’t tear up, but I had a strong instinct that this was my dress, and it felt effortless to say “yes.” As soon as I did, our attendant in the store popped some champagne and we all celebrated!

The way it works in a lot of bridal boutiques, and did in mine, is that you don’t just walk out with the dress—they take your measurements, and the designer makes one especially for you. For my particular dress it took about four months to make, and the boutique then mailed it to me in California.

I also bought my veil at the same time, which I LOVED—you can see the beading at the edge in the photo above.

Revealing my dress to my bridesmaids for the first time!

On my wedding day, my dress felt like a dream. It was long and dramatic, which I loved, but we bustled it for the reception so I could actually dance without tripping myself. I wish I had a reason I could wear it again!

Finding Grace’s Attire

Grace wasn’t exactly sure what she wanted to wear at our wedding, but she knew she didn’t want to look like a woman in ill-fitting menswear. Because of that, we knew she would probably need something custom. What we ended up going with was somewhere in between. We both liked the idea of a bright, summery blue—lighter than navy—and she ended up finding a beautiful color at Suitsupply. She went with her mom and one of her bride’s men, Jack. What she decided was that the guys in our wedding party would wear the exact same suit, but they would wear the jackets, and she would wear a vest instead. That way, she stood out a little bit and had her own look. I think the vest ended up looking amazing.

Similar to the situation with my gown, Suitsupply makes their suits custom, so Grace had to wait a few weeks to get hers in. But once we got it, it still didn’t have the perfect fit we were hoping for, so we went to an incredible tailor that we both loved—MH Tailoring & Alterations in Beverly Hills. They took the suit from something just-okay to a perfect custom fit that Grace was so excited to wear on our wedding day. Getting it re-tailored (even though it was already custom made) made all the difference in the world, so I highly recommend that for women who want to get married in a suit.

Finding the little flying heart collar clips was such a fun detail for Grace’s look. She also decided to wear a boutonniere that our florist made for her.

Overall, even though my wedding look was very traditional, my advice is to wear what YOU want. Questions about what Grace would wear was one of the most consistent things people would ask leading up to the wedding, and I think that kind of stressed her out, but in the end we were able to find something that we were both so happy wearing. It’s cliche, but it’s YOUR wedding and you are the one wearing the clothes—so remember that you have to be happy with them not only on your wedding day, but for years to come as you look back on photos of your wedding. I’ve seen photos of many beautiful weddings where there are two brides both wearing dresses, but that wasn’t Grace’s style at all, and I’m really happy with what she picked. I’ll be swooning over our photos for the rest of our lives!

All photos, other than my dress shopping photos, are by Jesse Marble and Jimmy Marble for Our Labor of Love

Our Wedding: Vendors

I have wanted to plan my wedding my whole life, and assembling an awesome team of vendors was one of the hardest (but also most “worth-it”) parts of pulling off my dream wedding. Every detail turned out even better than I could have imagined, and I am so grateful to all of our vendors for making that happen!

Our vision for our wedding was a big, summertime, outdoor party. We wanted it to feel like everyone had gathered on the grounds of a family home to dine al fresco and dance the night away. We only ever looked at one wedding venue, because as soon as we stepped onto the Upper Las Virgenes Canyon Open Space Preserve (yes, longest venue name ever), we knew we’d found where we were getting married. Our venue is a historic ranch house, with a long history as a filming site (parts of Gone with the Wind were filmed there), surrounded by a 3000 acre nature preserve. It really felt like we had our own little hilltop all to ourselves. It is located in Calabasas, about 45 minutes to an hour from where we live.

Once we had our site booked and our date reserved, we moved on to booking other large vendors, like photography, catering, an event coordinator, florals, etc. One thing I loved about our venue was that it was an entirely blank slate—we could bring in any vendor we wanted and make the space our own. However, that also meant it was a LOT of work, as we had to bring in everything from rentals, to outdoor lighting, to sound, to linens and china. We even had to build out an outdoor kitchen on the back of the house. I loved being able to customize the look of our wedding, and to me, it was worth it to have a lot of leg work in booking vendors.

I would go back and relive our wedding in a heartbeat if I could. Here’s the team that made it happen:

Venue: Upper Las Virgenes Canyon Open Space Preserve

Site Management and Event Hosts: Diablo Dormido Weddings

Event Coordination: Claudia Casanova for One Darling Day

Photography: Jesse Marble and Jimmy Marble for Our Labor of Love

Florals: Whit Hazen

Catering: Fundamental LA

Reception Band: Lucky Devils Band

Paper Goods: Shine Wedding Invitations

Event Rentals: Smart Party Rents

Vintage Lounge Rentals: Salt Buffalo

Custom Outdoor Lighting: Pacific Event Services

Guest Shuttle: Riz Transportation

Rolls Royce Getaway Car and Driver: Classy Chassis

Hair and Makeup: Absolutely Beautiful Brides

My Gown: Carolina Herrera

My Shoes: Bella Belle

Grace’s Attire: Suitsupply

Wedding cake: Susie Cakes Bakery

Custom Cake Toppers: Etsy

We had our ceremony and reception all on one site, which was a big part of our vision to make things easy for guests and have them be able to move seamlessly between the two. The way our wedding was set up is that our ceremony was around the back of the ranch house, overlooking a beautiful canyon, and then after the ceremony guests moved back toward the front for cocktail hour and then dinner and dancing. Because it was a hot day, we had our caterers set up infused waters and agua frescas for guests to grab when they arrived at the venue for the ceremony. All of our tables for dinner were set up on the lawn, and I’m SO glad we opted for the big wood tables rather than using smaller tables with tablecloths. Then under a canopy of oak tree branches was our dance floor, with our 9-piece live band set up at one end of it. Two of our musicians played instrumental music for our ceremony, and then our whole band played during the reception. They were one of the most fun parts of the night!

I could stare at images of our wedding flowers all day. I was head over heels for my bridal bouquet, and our florist Whit Hazen made our INCREDIBLE wedding arch for our ceremony as well as 16 bridesmaids’ bouquets, a handful of boutonnieres, garlands of flowers in the trees where our reception was held, and several other arrangements. Hiring her for our florist was one of the best decisions we could have made in terms of the look of our wedding.

I will do a whole separate post about catering and our vision behind that, but Fundamental knocked it out of the park. I am hungry right now just thinking about our wedding food! And the best part was that we actually got to eat it (which so many people have told me is rare for the couple at a wedding). I was honestly so full from eating at my wedding that I couldn’t try it all, haha!

You can expect more posts in the coming days and weeks about our reception, attire, food, sunset portraits, grand exit, details, invitation suite, and many more, but I wanted to take this opportunity to give a shout-out specifically to all our amazing vendors. I wish I could throw another huge party and bring them all together again!

Last but not least - I have gotten so many questions about our wedding cake toppers (they were custom made to look like our two dogs). Here is a link to the Etsy shop where I ordered them. They were amazing to work with!

All photos are by Jesse Marble and Jimmy Marble for Our Labor of Love

Our Wedding: Ceremony

I am so thrilled to begin my wedding blog series today. When planning this series, I knew without a doubt that I wanted to begin with a post about our ceremony: it’s the reason all of the other details exist. Our ceremony was the most important part of our wedding day, and I will always treasure the memory of promising my life to Grace with all of our family and friends as witnesses.

We chose to have a traditional Episcopalian wedding ceremony, and our Priest and dear friend Rev. Ed Milkovich married us. It was important to us that our wedding officiant was someone who knew us both, encouraged us in our faith and in our relationship, and would be in our lives after our wedding. We love Rev. Ed and are so happy he officiated. The morning of our wedding, he gifted each of us with beautiful rosaries that he made by hand, selecting special stones for them and writing out a prayer for us to read before walking down the aisle.

During our ceremony we exchanged vows and rings, Rev. Ed said beautiful prayers over us, and our guests were invited to affirm and witness our marriage.

We had a very large wedding party (we had 26 people to get down the aisle, between our 20 total bridesmaids, our 4 parents, and ourselves), which was so wonderful. Being surrounded by a 20-strong SQUAD up there as we said our vows was one of my favorite parts of the wedding. Grace’s bridesmaids (and men) processed first, followed by Grace walking down the aisle with both her parents, followed by my bridesmaids, with my sister (and maid of honor) going last, and then my brother escorted my mom to her seat, and then my dad and I walked down the aisle together last of all. As I’ll share more about in a future post, Grace and I chose not to see each other all day before I walked down the aisle to her (we did not do a “first look” before the ceremony), so the emotions were running high as we finally saw each other. It was a precious moment and I wouldn’t change a thing.

Our vows were a mix of the classic lines, “to have and to hold, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health, to love, and to cherish, all the days of my life,” as well as some additional lines we promised each other. We both started our vows with, “[Grace/Elizabeth], today I give myself to you,” which was one of my favorite parts. I told Grace, “I will care for you, stand beside you, and share with you all of life’s adversities and all of its joys, and I believe in you from this day forward.” She promised me the same with a little bit of variation: “I will protect you, encourage you, and share with you all of life’s adversities and all of its joys, and I believe in you from this day forward.” We both ended our vows the same way: “With these words, and with all my heart, I marry you, and bind my life to yours.”

When exchanging our rings, we both said in turn, “I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow. With all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you in the name of God.”

Another meaningful part of the ceremony was when Rev. Ed joined our hands together and wrapped them in his Priests’s stole while he pronounced that we were now married. If you watched Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s royal wedding, you might have noticed that Bishop Michael Curry did the same thing with their hands. It’s a special Episcopal tradition that I am so glad we included.

We also had some of our close friends do readings and lead our guests in a prayer for our marriage. I’m so glad we were able to incorporate even more of our loved ones in this way, and we cried as each of our sweet friends came up for their readings. We had a reading from Romans that we both have always loved, a reading from the Willie Nelson song “Hands on the Wheel” (yes, our dog is also named Willie Nelson), and a traditional Episcopal prayers of the people reading.

It was a hot summer day the day of our wedding, so we had handheld fans on each seat and parasols available at the beginning of the aisle for guests to grab. We also had little packs of flower petals on each seat for our guests to toss as we walked back down the aisle together as Grace and Elizabeth Baldridge. Hearing Rev. Ed say “you are now married and bound to each other as long as you both shall live” and walking out through a flurry of rose petals were two of the sweetest moments of the whole day. We headed back into the house to sign our marriage license and then take sunset portraits with our amazing photographers!

All photos are by Jesse Marble and Jimmy Marble for Our Labor of Love

Wedding Planning Update #3

It has been a minute since my last wedding planning update! And SO much has happened. I truly cannot believe our wedding week begins in 3 weeks. We’re in the final stages now, and if there’s one piece of advice as a bride so far that I can give, it’s to front-load your wedding planning. I have been like a little squirrel for months storing away everything I could get done in advance, and it has really paid off because there’s not a long to-do list at this point. I have cards to write, vendors to do final check-ins with, but I’m not scouring Etsy for last-minute decorations I realize I need, I’m not still mulling over song choices, and overall, I’m not missing any key pieces for our wedding day.

Like my other posts on wedding planning, I’ll keep this one somewhat general because I don’t want to give away pictures of décor or visuals for the wedding day yet so everything is fresh for our guests. But here are some of my favorite moments from wedding planning the past few months since I last updated:

• Getting our wedding rings. I am beyond excited for us both to wear them.
• Doing final dress fittings with my seamstress. A couple of weeks ago, I had one of those special moments where I really “felt like a bride”: I was in my seamstress’s atelier, wearing my dress while she measured and cinched and marked all around me to get it closer to fitting perfectly. The atelier is on the first floor of a shared loft space, and the front door is a glass pane, and as people walked by on their way to other shops, they stopped, smiled, and admired my dress through the glass . . . it was just special and made everything feel so real.
• Getting some fun details in the mail that are now filling our guest room (custom cake toppers, table numbers, gifts for special people who are playing a role in our wedding day, etc.)
• Doing my hair and makeup trial with the most thoughtful and calming stylists ever. I am so excited for them to recreate the look on my wedding day!
• Writing our vows together and planning out our ceremony with our officiant. I have gotten chills so many times thinking about saying those words on our wedding day!
• Sending out invitations and getting our response cards in the mail! It’s so fun reading the sweet little notes some people have written to us with their response!
• Doing our cake tasting. So fun. We liked so many flavors and had such a hard time deciding that we ended up choosing a different one for each tier.
• Getting our marriage license!!

With each week that passes, I feel more ready for our wedding, and so I really do think we’ll be in good shape come August. I can’t wait to share every detail of our wedding day on the blog, and more details about the planning process once all the fun designs and surprises are out of the bag!

To close, here are some of my favorite “outtakes” from the planning process lately:

Visiting our venue with my mom (who took this picture). I get overwhelmed with a sense of peace and tranquility every time I go. It's such a beautiful and serene spot.

Going to the showroom to pick out our furniture, plates, and linen rentals.  This setup is not at all what ours will look like, just showing a glimpse of the showroom :)

Getting a couple hundred of these cute fans in the mail to keep our guests cool during our outdoor ceremony!

Getting our marriage license at the Beverly Hills courthouse! (I edited the picture to block out our information, haha). This was SUCH a sweet and special moment, and it's when I officially initiated my name change to Baldridge :)

Doing a cake tasting. SO delicious and festive, and the people were so sweet.

Getting super fun and cute responses with our RSVP cards in the mail every day! I'm almost sad we've gotten all of our response cards now, because I loved checking the mail and getting a few every day. This one is from my best friend (and one of my bridesmaids).

This is what we sign for purposes of our church's records (not an official document but just something we do with our officiant). I loved the wording so much I wanted to share it here.

Since we only have 26 days left (!!) until the wedding, I'm not sure if I'll write another one of these planning posts before then, but I will be blogging all the details over the next few months! Thanks for following along.