Making 1970's Midwestern-Style "Salads"

It’s been awhile since my last update on Have Dog, Will Drive! Soon, I will share more about the rollercoaster of a summer that Grace and I have had. You can also tune into our podcast, which is the best place to get updates these days. But I still really love blogging and plan to always keep this space alive :)

The reason I’m popping in now is to share a post that accompanies our latest podcast episode, all about making old-school, midwestern-style, church potluck-esque salads.

“Salad” is actually not the operative word here.

This whole idea started a couple of months ago when Grace posed a question to Instagram: What is the weirdest salad you’ve ever had? People wrote in with all kinds of crazy things, like Snickers salad, hot cheeto salad, strawberry pretzel cream cheese salad, “frog eye” salad, and more. Then it became a running joke on the podcast. Grace wanted to do a “salad episode” where we talked about the weirdest salads we could find, and did some taste testing. Honestly, I thought it was too weird and people would think we’d really lost the plot. But I was slowly proven wrong…

I got SO many messages about fond church potluck salad memories. Probably more than any other topic we’d floated, our listeners wrote in via email, DM, etc., to say they wanted a salad episode!

Right around the time we started thinking it might actually be time to do this, we noticed that we hit 100,000 downloads on Under Our Roof. YAY! It’s such an honor to know that people tune in each week, and I get a little bit emotional when I think about the fact that we’ve actually gathered a little community through this fun project. We’ve even met some of our listeners in person! And I’d LOVE to do more of that.

Anyway, the 100,000 download mark seemed like the perfect time to do a salad episode to celebrate. So as of the time this blog post goes live, you can hear all about our experimental “cooking” day!

Because we wanted to offer some kind of visual component for this one, I decided to dust off the blog and share some of the photos. The best way to fully experience The Salad Episode is to listen to the podcast and then also check out these pics. I’m also sharing the recipes (and a couple of extras below) in case you want to try to recreate this! I really hope you enjoy this weird podcast/blog digression :)

Orange Fluff Salad

Recipe (sent in by a podcast listener—thanks, Lauren!):

ORANGE FLUFF SALAD

8 oz frozen whipped topping, thawed

3 oz package orange gelatin mix, just the powder

16 oz of 4% fat cottage cheese, small or large curd will work

14 oz can mandarin oranges, drained

1 cup mini marshmallows

Combine the thawed whipped topping and orange gelatin powder together in a large bowl and stir until combined.

Add in the cottage cheese, mandarin oranges and mini marshmallows and gently fold in until mixture is combined.

Enjoy right away or chill covered in the fridge until ready to serve.

The orange fluff salad was probably the weirdest thing we made. Not my personal favorite (you can hear more about it on the podcast), but apparently very authentically church potlucky. I grew up in a church where such things were not on the menu, haha.

Grace loved it!

Next up…

Pea ‘n’ Peanut Salad

Linking the recipe here—from Taste of Home.

We knew we wanted to do one fully savory/salty salad, and peas seem to be ubiquitous in a lot of these kinds of recipes. This one has just a few ingredients: peas, roasted peanuts, red onion, celery, bacon, and a dressing made from Italian dressing + mayo.

This one was great!! The only thing I would have changed is making my own homemade Italian-style dressing, but I wanted to be true to the recipe making it for this challenge. The finely chopped red onion and celery add crunch (along with the bacon + peanuts). It was overall just a great side dish I thought.

Then for a super dessert-y salad, we made…

Snickers Salad, a.k.a Candy Bar Apple Salad

The recipe for this one is linked here, also from Taste of Home.

This might have been the salad that sounded the weirdest to me when I was first rounding up some recipes. But it ended up being really delicious!

The ingredients are all things I would normally eat on their own—Snickers, apples, cool whip, vanilla pudding. Mixed all together and set in the fridge for a couple of hours, and it was actually a delicious crunchy sweet velvety treat. Still weird, but good!

We spent such a fun morning creating these concoctions, tasting them, and recording the podcast episode.

I’m going to leave you with a couple of extras. First, Lauren, our listener who sent in the Orange Fluff recipe, also sent the following recipes:

LUTHERAN SALAD

2 sm. pkgs. lime Jello

2 c. hot water

1/2 pkg. miniature marshmallows

1 c. crushed pineapple, drained

1 c. cottage cheese

1 c. Cool whip

1 c. walnuts, cut fine

Dissolve the Jello in hot water. When Jello begins to set, add the remaining ingredients. Decorate the top with maraschino cherries if feeling wicked. Place in refrigerator until ready to use.

(I've also seen this done with shredded coconut mixed in. Go crazy!)

---

STRAWBERRY PRETZEL SALAD

2 c. crushed pretzel sticks, coarse

3/4 c. melted margarine

1/3 c. sugar

1 8-oz. pkg. cream cheese

1 c. sugar

1 9-oz pkg Cool Whip, thawed

1 lg. box Strawberry Jello

2 c. boiling water

2 10-oz. pkgs sliced sweetened strawberries, thawed

Preparation

Combine pretzels, margarine and 1/3 cup sugar and press into bottom of 9 X 13-inch baking pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes. Cool. Combine softened cream cheese and 1 cup sugar. Mix until well blended. Fold in whipped topping. Spread on top of pretzels and chill. Dissolve gelatin in boiling water; add strawberries. Chill until partially set. Pour over cream cheese layer. Chill until firm.

Lastly, a link to my all-time favorite Martha Stewart coleslaw recipe. We reference it in the podcast episode, so I wanted to include it here. I can’t take credit for it, but I have made it dozens of times for Grace and it’s a staple for summer celebrations. I’m not a “coleslaw person”—wouldn’t normally order it at a restaurant or anything. But I CRAVE this coleslaw. Don’t skip out on the grated onion, trust me. If you can, chop all the veggies yourself—I’m convinced that pre-shredded, dried-out cabbage and carrots is the culprit behind a lot of mediocre coleslaw.

Happy salad making!

The Rare & Special Loquat Crumble

There are many reasons why springtime is my favorite season of the year. But one of them is definitely loquats.

If you’ve never heard of this little fruit, I’m sure you’re not alone. They are not sold commercially pretty much anywhere in the United States. In fact, this LA Times article has a fascinating story about what is believed to be the only commercial planting of loquats in the US (located right near me in Malibu, California). Apparently they can sometimes be found in farmer’s markets, but I’ve never seen them.

In our neighborhood, they grow EVERYWHERE. The streets are littered with them. They only grow and ripen a few weeks each year, but in April, it’s basically raining loquats in Southern California. They’re surprisingly common all over the world, despite being very under-the-radar. They originated in China, where they are sold still on the branch, tied with decorative string. In Japan, they are prized, and sold in white boxes like candy or jewels. And they are popular in Italy and Australia as well.

But, they spoil very easily, and oftentimes the “best” fruit looks dented and bruised—that actually makes it sweeter! But also less appealing in a supermarket.

I had never heard of them or tasted one until moving to Southern California, but now it is one of my most special yearly traditions to pick a harvest of ripe loquats and bake a crumble every spring.

This past week, that’s exactly what I did. I’m on such a happy high from eating these delicious gems, which taste like a mix between plums, apricots, cherries, and peaches. Today I want to share my recipe with you—and you might be surprised to find that they grow near you! I loved reading this article from one of my mom’s favorite magazines, Garden & Gun, about all of the places they can be found in the American South.

This is the loquat recipe I’ve used the past couple of years, and I have to say it is absolutely delicious. 10/10! Adapted from Allrecipes.com.

Ingredients:

~8 cups fresh loquats, de-seeded and cut in half (skins still on)

Juice of 2 lemons

1 cup sugar

1/4 cup cornstarch

1 cup all-purpose flour (I actually used type 00 flour this year because I was out of regular, and it was still delicious… this is a very forgiving recipe)

1 cup packed light brown sugar

1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Small pinch of table salt

7 tablespoons butter, very cold, and cut into pieces or grated

First, you pick your loquats, if you are lucky enough to live near a tree.

Second, wash, de-seed, and cut up the loquats.

Each loquat has large, glossy seeds in the middle—around 1 -3 seeds per loquat. Apparently there are some seedless varieties, but that is not the kind that grow near me.

Third, pre-heat the oven to 400 degrees F.

Fourth, toss the cut and cleaned loquats with the juice of 2 lemons.

Fifth, transfer the loquats to a large pot/saucepan on medium-low heat and simmer for about 15 minutes, until they become really juicy and start to break down. Stir often.

Sixth, whisk together the cup of sugar and 1/4 cup of cornstarch, then add it into the simmering loquats. Stir until combined and simmer for a couple minutes—this will start to get thick like pie filling!

Seventh, heat a cast-iron pan (empty) in the 400 degree oven for about 5 minutes. Take the cast iron out, add the loquat filling.

Eighth, mix together the rest of the ingredients: flour, brown sugar, cinnamon, vanilla, salt, and cold butter in small pieces. Combine thoroughly with a pastry cutter or your hands until the mixture resembles coarse, wet sand.

Ninth, cover the loquat filling evenly with the brown sugar mixture and then put the cast iron pan back in the oven.

Tenth, bake for about 25 minutes until bubbling and golden.

Let cool for about 20 minutes, but serve while still warm. Recommended: vanilla ice cream on the side!

Omg, writing this post makes me sad that my loquat crumble is all gone. It’s the most special dessert of the whole year, because (a) it’s so delicious, but also most critically (b) it can only be made in a very tiny window in April each year.

I love slowing down and making my life special by marking the changing of the seasons with rituals and traditions like this. The loquat crumble is incredibly special in our little family, and making it helps me feel connected to the earth around me. So wild to think that all of the fruit (lemons included) grew within walking distance of my house! I love living in Southern California so much.

If you can get access to loquats, I hope this post gives you some inspiration to try them if you haven’t already! In the future, I would also love to try making loquat jam and loquat cocktails.

My Recent Fav No-Recipe, VERY Simple Meal

If you follow me on Instagram, you know that I love a good home-cooked meal. And I honestly really enjoy making more complicated things—IF I have a good amount of time in the evening. For me, spending 2 hours in the kitchen making something special and beautiful is a great way to unwind. I know a lot of people might not relate to that, but it is one of my passions!

BUT this post is not about that. This is about a meal I’ve been making recently that checks every box that I need on certain weeknights. It is quick, it is easy, it is healthy (tons of veggies and a bit of protein), and I find myself craving it.

I don’t even know what the name of this dish would be. It’s basically a big bowl of pasta with sauce, but you just use roasted vegetables instead of any pasta! I don’t know why I’ve never done this sooner, but it’s strangely DELICIOUS.

I almost feel silly making an entire blog post about this, because it’s one of those no-recipe recipes. There are no measurements. This is all you do:

1. Roast vegetables. Anything you like. My personal favorites are Romanesco (a green cousin of cauliflower—TRUST me on this. It’s one of my favorite veggies ever), regular cauliflower, zucchini, peppers, mushrooms, asparagus, green beans, the list goes on. In the pictures I’m using Romanesco, zucchini, and bell peppers. I roast them for maybe 20 minutes at 415 degrees with just some olive oil, salt, and pepper.

2. Meanwhile, heat some sauce in a saucepan until it is lightly simmering. This is where you really want to go for quality. I know you can make your own sauce of course, but this is for an easy weeknight meal. In my opinion, Rao’s Arrabbiata (which is like a spicy marinara) is the best of the best. They sell it at most groceries, at least where I live.

3. Slice and cook some type of sausage—it can be vegetarian “sausage” links, chicken sausage, regular Italian sausage, whatever. Lots of options for every diet at most grocery stores.

4. Once the vegetables are roasted, put them on a plate and cover with the hot Arrabbiata sauce (however much you like).

5. Add the cooked sausage on the top.

6. Finish it off with a squeeze of lemon, drizzle of olive oil, and some flaky sea salt.

I don’t know why, but this is such a satisfying, filling, & delicious meal to me. It’s way more simplified than what I normally cook, but it’s so nice to be able to throw it together really easily. I also feel like I’m getting tons of veggies and enjoying the comfort of a big bowl of pasta, but without the heaviness and tiredness that can come with digesting a bunch of carbs.

Enjoy!!

30th Birthday Wish List // Spring & Summer Gift Guide

I haven’t written a wish list/gift guide in awhile, but with my thirtieth birthday coming up in a couple of months, I thought it was high time! In the past I’ve written my personal wish lists as general gift guides because (a) it feels weird to write an entire post just about things I want, and (b) I like to think my tastes would appeal to people in a similar phase of life :) So, if you’re reading this and you happen to be looking for a thirtieth birthday present for me, here are some ideas. And if you’re shopping for your wife/sister/girlfriend/mom/bestie/etc., I hope this will give you some inspiration! A lot of these would be great for Mother’s Day (May 9) and for your Taurus/Gemini/Cancer/Leo babes with upcoming birthdays.

Here’s what’s been catching my eye lately (not in any particular order):

1. Set of Wine Glasses

We got a beautiful set of wine glasses as a wedding gift, and to be honest we’ve already broken half of them. I realize that might not be the biggest endorsement toward giving me MORE wine glasses, but I think breaking things is just part of life and they are replaceable :) So I would really love to upgrade with a set of six nice wine glasses. This set from Williams-Sonoma looks perfect ($84 for 6).

2. Gold Jewelry Staples

The older I get, the more I like to simplify my jewelry based around nice staple pieces. In general, I only wear gold (rather than platinum, silver, etc.). My engagement and wedding ring are gold and I just think yellow gold is so pretty and classic. For my thirtieth birthday I would love to add some simple gold jewelry that I’ll keep forever (I think this is a great gift for a lot of people for big birthdays, graduations, and life milestones). Here are a few pieces I love:

White Sapphire Trio Necklace

Three stones for three decades?! Love. (Mejuri, $295)

Crescent Necklace

Slightly more affordable but lovely, simple staple necklace (Mejuri, $70)

Pearl Hoops

I absolutely love these, and pearl is my birthstone! These would be a great gift for any June babies with pierced ears. (Mejuri, $90)

Crescent Moon Ear Climbers

These are so fun! (Sequin Jewelry, $68)

“Emma” Hoops

These seem like the perfect combination of chunky yet lightweight. (Shop Ange, $38)

“Jordan” Chain Choker Necklace

I’ve been looking for something like this for awhile, and this one seems like the perfect weight/length. (Sequin Jewelry, $118)

3. Classic White Sheets

I am a big lover of crisp white sheets, which obviously need to be replaced every few years. I would love to get another set—these Brooklinen sheets (in white, King size) would be absolutely perfect. ($160 for a King set)

4. My Favorite Underwear

I have a bunch of these pairs of underwear and they are ALL I wear! I can never get enough! They have so many super pretty colors. This is an easy gift where you can get one pair ($22) or a whole set, for either a “stocking stuffer” type gift or a whole array. Also, I personally do not think it’s weird to give underwear to people as gifts… my sister and I give each other these pairs all the time because we love them so much! These are a “one-size-fits-all” situation, which I realize is not going to be 100% accurate, but they happen to fit me really well and are a very stretchy material.

5. Candles

I go through phases of being really into candles. Well let me tell you… I am VERY INTO them right now. But I don’t have many. It’s the kind of thing that I find hard to treat myself on, but would love to receive as a gift. I bet a lot of people feel the same way, so unless you know the person you’re buying a gift for doesn’t like scented candles, this is a pretty safe one to make someone smile!

Pic by Ashley Hosmer on Instagram

I’m kind of picky about candles. Here are a few that I love and/or have read great reviews of that I trust:

Diptyque - the gold standard; you cannot go wrong with this. My favorite scents are BAIES, TUBEROSE, and ROSES. ($68 each)

Boy Smells - Slow Burn. This is a perpetual favorite of a lot of people. ($39)

Matte Gallery - Sun Burn. My godmother often has this burning in her house, and it’s just so good! Ethereal. ($45)

Otherland - Canopy. I’ve not smelled this one yet, but I’ve heard enough people talk about it that I would love to try it! It has fig notes, which is a big plus for me. ($36)

Roen Candles - Ojai Nuit. I REALLY want to try this one! It is named after Ojai, my favorite town (and where I will be spending my thirtieth birthday), so this would be a perfect gift. They have a bunch of candles named after different areas in Southern California, so pick the one that matches a place you (or the recipient of your gift) love. ($28)

Also, as a side note, I would love to get a wick trimmer (this one is sold by Boy Smells, but they’re sold pretty much everywhere). I think a wick trimmer would be a really nice add-on to a gift if you are giving someone a candle.

6. Super Plush Dog Bed

I guess this is kind of a gift for my pets, but seeing them happy makes me happy! And I bet many pet lovers feel the same way. I have one 15-pound dog and one 65-pound dog, but they both really like to lie in big dog beds. The ones I have are a few years old at this point and feeling a bit deflated. I love these options:

Casper (size large, $229)

Jax & Bones (size large, $178)

Orvis (size large, $189)

7. Gummies!

In terms of a birthday treat, gummies are one of my favorite things to get as a gift. I am definitely that girl that wants gummies, Swedish fish, jelly beans, etc. on Valentine’s Day instead of chocolate. I have always loved gummies and fruit candies more than any other candy, so this is a “last but not least” item on my list!

I am in love with this rainbow “bento box” gummy set from Sugarfina, which includes rainbow bears, heavenly sours and baby butterflies.

Also, Dylan’s Candy Bar has bulk gummies you can order online and my mouth is watering reading through the list.

I hope this list gives you some gift-giving inspiration for the upcoming birthdays and special occasions in your life!

April 2021 Goals + March Recap

It’s halfway through the month and I’m just now blogging my goals… whoops! The good news is that I’ve had them written down in my journal since the last day of March. But I do like to document them here as well, and now I’m finally getting a chance.

I always get a bit of high this time of year. I am a spring and summer girl through and through, and every single April/May it feels better than I remembered it would. I majorly get the winter blues, and I just feel like myself again in the springtime.

Here’s how I did in March:

• Map out my ideal day/week and try to base my daily schedule around that as much as possible (yes and this is changing my life! I want to blog about it in detail soon)

• Personal writing project (progress, but not perfect)

• Reorganize and spring clean the guest room/my office (sort of…. I feel like I got it clean during March but then ended the month with it messy again! I’ve been working on a lot of projects, so it’s kind of an ever-evolving workspace right now)

• Replace our smoke detectors (yes!)

• Go to the beach (yes, so beautiful!)

• Make a Spring bucket list (yes—I posted it on Instagram)

And here is what I’ve been working on in April:

• More of my personal writing project

• Cut my hair

• Repaint our front door

• Do some at-home yoga

• Celebrate Easter (done, it was very special this year!)

• Pick loquats in my neighborhood and make a crumble (I did this last year and am excited to do it again)

• Celebrate Willie’s birthday

I hope you’re having a lovely month of April, whether it’s spring or autumn for you!

March 2021 Goals + February Recap

I can’t believe February is already almost over. Grace and I have said this on our last couple of podcast episodes, but I think February 2021 has been one of our busiest months EVER. Both of us, for different reasons. In such a short month, we packed in a ton of work and exciting growth, but I’m kind of ready to say goodbye to this very hectic month. And I’m SO excited that March will mean all of the new beginnings of Spring!

I’m happy to say that I did well on my February goals! Here’s a recap:

• Don’t check email or social media for the first hour of every day - not 100% of the time, but most of the time and it made the biggest difference in my day! I can’t believe I didn’t start doing this sooner.

• Enjoy a quarantine Valentine’s Day - yes, sweet and simple. We were honestly too busy to do that much, but that’s okay because it’s all for really good reasons.

• Support Grace through the release of her EP - I think so! Grace says yes :) I’m so, so proud. Over half a million streams now and it hasn’t even been out for a month yet!

• Drive to see snow and the ocean at some point this month - no. There is no way this could have happened. I barely had time to eat 3 meals a day, haha.

• Tweet a few times - yes! Follow me on Twitter here.

• Create a linktree so I can better share my podcast, blog, TikTok, etc. all at once - yes, link here!

And now for my March goals (trying to keep it simpler in hopes that this next month is not as busy as February):

• Map out my ideal day/week and try to base my daily schedule around that as much as possible

• Personal writing project

• Reorganize and spring clean the guest room/my office

• Replace our smoke detectors

• Go to the beach

• Make a Spring bucket list

Have a beautiful month!

Simple Mood Boosters When You're Stuck at Home

Lately it feels like everyone around me has been saying that the last few weeks have been the hardest part of the never-ending Covid year. I guess it’s because the vaccine is here, but not a lot of people have been able to get it, and it’s winter, and it’s been almost an entire year of this. I actually don’t feel the worst I’ve felt since March 2020 - don’t get me wrong, it’s rough, but there have been lower points. I can completely empathize with the sinking feeling of quasi-quarantine going on and on… but lately I’ve actually felt pretty optimistic. And I attribute that in large part to small steps I’ve been taking at home to make life happier :)

Here are a few of them that I hope help! These are not a cure-all, and if you’re really feeling down, I sincerely hope you will reach out to someone you can talk to. But if you just need a little boost on what feels like day 23908347 of Covid, here are my best tips!

Waking Up Early/Waking Up Before Everyone In Your Household

Don’t hate me, I know not everyone is a morning person. But I can almost guarantee that if you wake up an hour earlier than you’re used to for a week, and devote that time in the morning to drinking a nice morning beverage (whether it be lemon water, matcha, coffee, whatever your favorite thing is), journaling/making your one-sheet for the day (more on that below), tidying up and getting ready for the day, you will feel SO good. I recently fell into a rut during quarantine of sleeping later than I intended almost every day. From that point on, I would feel like I was playing catch-up to deal with my inbox, the dogs, a messy kitchen, and on and on. Waking up before Grace and the dogs and getting some time to myself has been HUGE for a mental reset and just feeling more productive and happy lately.

Listen to Ambient Sounds While Working

I am not someone who can listen to music or a podcast while I work. Most of my work involves writing, so I just get too distracted trying to listen to words while I type words. But sometimes there are noises in the house that are distracting - Grace will be on a call that I can hear the muffled sounds of behind her office door. Or the dogs are playing with a squeaker toy. Lately I’ve been listening to YouTube videos of nature/ambient sounds, and they really help me block out distracting noises and just create a cozy vibe for working. Here in LA, we hardly ever get any weather, so these put me in the mindset of being in a library when it’s raining outside. Here are a few favorites:

Old Library Ambience

Cozy Cabin Ambience

Snowstorm/Howling Winds

Victorian Era Ambience

Tea Party Ambience

Classic Rain Sounds

Not really related to this post, but this is the sheet pan Korean chicken bowl from the Half Baked Harvest blog. It’s been Grace’s absolute favorite meal I’ve made in the past year - highly highly recommend!

Make a Daily One-Sheet

This is something I’ve done in one variation or another for years, but I feel like I’ve particularly hit my stride with it lately. Every day, I open my notebook and write the date at the top of a fresh sheet of paper. Then I organize the priorities for my day (this is usually while I’m drinking my morning coffee). I’ll write my top three priorities that must get done, and then from there I’ll add the rest of the things I’ll ideally get done that day. I also write out any specific times when I have something on my calendar like a call or deadline. I’ll cross-reference against my planner and write down if it’s anyone’s birthday or important milestones that day, that way I remember to text them or shout them out on social media at some point during the day. And that’s it! I reference this all day long to keep myself on track. It’s been a huge productivity help.

Taking A Break from Alcohol (if you drink)

So I’m on an alcohol break right now. I haven’t drank since 2020! And I’ve kind of never felt better. I am not at all speaking as an expert on sober living and wouldn’t even call myself “sober” since I plan on enjoying a glass of wine again eventually. But that being said I think this is the longest intentional drinking break I’ve taken in like a decade. I want to go at least 100 days (I’m a little more than halfway into that right now), but to tell you the truth I feel so clear-headed and healthy that I don’t know exactly when I’m ending my break.

Hot/Cold Showers

Hear me out. I saved the best for last. The last couple of weeks I’ve gotten very into this routine of taking a hot shower every morning and then turning it super cold for the last minute or so. I’ve been hearing for a long time how great this is and I’m 100% converted. When the water turns freezing, you have to really intentionally catch your breath because your body naturally starts to hyperventilate. But now that I’m used to it, it feels SO good and refreshing. I truly look forward to it every morning. It really helps me de-puff from sleep and is better than a cup of coffee for feeling alert in the morning. This will change your life, seriously!

Hope these tips make your time at home a little brighter!

A Letter from the Pandemic to The Children I Hope To Have In the Future

I was recently organizing some files on my hard drive and I found a Word document titled simply, “A Letter To You.” I was momentarily mystified. A letter to me? Then, opening it, I realized it was a letter I wrote back in May of 2020. We were two months into the pandemic at the time, and I’d finally been able to catch my breath and desperately wanted to capture some of the feelings of the moment. I wrote a letter to my “future children,” hit save, and promptly forgot all about the letter.

Reading it back now almost a year later, it’s surreal to think about all that has changed (and all that hasn’t -we’re very much still in lockdown). I’m glad I took the time back in May to write down my thoughts, and I decided that (although I do hope future children read it one day), I wanted to share it here, as well. Maybe someone can relate. So here it is! And here’s to believing that the best is always yet to come.

May 12, 2020

To my future child(ren):

In some ways I feel less ready and farther away from being a mother now than I felt five years ago.  I was twenty-three then, and I hadn’t done a lot of things I would eventually do: get married. Finish school and face reality as an adult. Become a lawyer. Dream up goals and longings for the future—some completely unexpected. Live through a pandemic. Grow a different, truer faith than the one I was raised with.

I still haven’t fully done some of those things. I haven’t lived through a pandemic—I am living in one as I write this. But at twenty-three, I knew I wanted babies. Wanted you. And I still do. If you are reading this, then you’re a dream-come-true in more ways than you could ever know.

At twenty-eight, I don’t want to be a mother any less than I did five years ago. But the things I’ve seen and learned in those intervening years has made me feel more unsure of the future than I ever realized up until now. I have thought of you my whole life. So when life as I knew it changed forever on or about March 13, 2020, my thoughts immediately flew to you. When the news was pouring in so fast and frightening it left me shivering uncontrollably at the end of each day, I’ll never forget what Grace said to me as she wrapped her arms around me. “I don’t want it to be the end of the world. We never got to have kids.”

But we quickly realized that this probably wasn’t the end of the world. A virus ripping across the globe and killing millions of people would have been unthinkable to me six months ago—it would have truly sounded like the end of the world. Since then, we’ve all found out that life finds a way, and though everything looks different now, there’s joy all around.

As that joy gets stronger and more confident in spite of the horror stories and death tolls, I’ve been thinking about what I want to write to you. I’ve wanted to journal about what I’m going through during this time since day one. Will you learn in school about the COVID-19 pandemic and wonder what your parents felt? But journaling has been harder now than it has been at other stage of my life. At the beginning, I was too shaken up to hold a pen steady for long enough to explore my feelings through words.

I also think I subconsciously knew that journaling to you wouldn’t be as simple as “we stocked the freezer with food to last us weeks at a time” and “we were afraid.” What’s going on with this virus is a piece in a larger picture of my life and everything that’s swirling around in it right now. I want to tell you all about it—in person one day, I hope, and also through the journaling I’m going to start doing more regularly to remember what this feels like. But I wanted to start with this letter, because a chapter of life this wild really needs a prologue.

I’ll close by telling you something Grace and I have thought about for a long time. We’ve always wanted you, individually and as a couple. And even though we can’t know exactly what you’ll be like, we feel strongly that you’re going to be part of our lives. So we often picture ourselves sitting at a table. It’s a long, sturdy table, set in a garden. The table is covered with good food and drinks, set with flowers and candles and all kinds of beautiful things. I picture it like a Renoir painting. It’s early evening—or maybe late afternoon—and Grace and I are sitting at the table. We’re waiting for everyone else to arrive, and we might be enjoying a glass of wine or an Aperol Spritz in the meantime. It’s a casual, sprawling, family-style setting, not meticulously set with forks and napkins and name cards. We don’t know exactly how many places there will be, but we know we’re just relaxing and waiting for our family to sit down at the table with us. We’re not anxious about when everyone we’ll get here; we’re having fun just us for now.

But even though I try to hold those table settings loosely in my heart rather than with clenched fists, let me tell you straight up: I cannot wait for the day you arrive. Sometimes it’s hard to believe you’re real—or will be, one day—but at the same time, the love I already feel for you is one of the only things I’m certain of in this crazy world.

Until we meet, I love you.

West Coast 30th Birthday Road Trip

Grace turned 30 this past November, and despite not being able to gather with friends due to Covid, we knew we wanted to do something special. Road trips have always been a big part of our relationship - we took a road trip all over California back in 2015 when we were newly dating, and in 2017 we drove all the way from LA to Alaska and back. So a very fun and indulgent road trip felt perfect to ring in a new decade. We actually left the dogs in LA (being well taken care of), just to make it feel a little more like a true vacation. We missed them but loved having the extra flexibility in our schedule (and being able to sleep in)!

Today I want to recap where we stayed and share a few fun pictures. I’ve shared some of these on social media already, but I’m also peppering in some photos from a disposable camera we got developed. I haven’t shared these anywhere else yet!

A little “Covid Caveat” - obviously travel is not carefree during a pandemic, and Covid precautions played a heavy role in the planning for this trip. I know that California has gone on various stages of lockdown in the past year, but interstate travel on the West Coast was not restricted on the dates when we traveled. Still, rest assured we wore masks at all times when around other people, cooked our meals at “home” in our Airbnbs or got Covid-safe takeout options, and generally had about the same or fewer interactions with others than we do here in LA. Also, all of the photos of us together were taken via a tripod and self timer (there was no one with us to take a picture). I would say overall we were extremely careful and conscientious on this trip. Just want to get that out there at the beginning of the post!

Without further intro, here’s the play-by-play of our road trip! If you are interested in a 7-10 day itinerary leaving from LA, I highly recommend our route.

Days 1-2: LA to Carmel Valley Ranch

The first day of our trip was November 7, the day the US Election results were finally called in favor of Joe Biden. As we drove through the streets of West Hollywood on our way out of town, cars honked excitedly, and it was just a great feeling to start off our trip! We drove about seven hours up to Carmel and checked into the beautiful Carmel Valley Ranch.

I’d been hearing about the Carmel Valley Ranch for several years, and it was lovely in person. I booked us one of the Hilltop Suites that comes with a beautiful patio/balcony with an outdoor bathtub overlooking the golf course. I’m actually not a huge golf course person, despite the fact that I was a member of my high school’s golf team. But it was a sublime view nonetheless, and we pretty much just enjoyed chilling in our room for the first night of the trip. The open-air bath was awesome, and we also turned on our fireplace and watched a few episodes of The Haunting of Bly Manor.

The next day, we went for a hike around the property before hitting the road to our next destination.

Days 2-4: Carmel to Trinidad, California

Never heard of a Trinidad in California? I think a lot of people haven’t! It is a seaside town near Eureka, in far northern California. I first heard about it a few years ago and had always wanted to visit. It did NOT disappoint - I think Grace and I both agree this was our favorite stop of the trip. I booked this Airbnb - which I cannot say enough good things about - and we stayed for two nights.

We arrived after dark the first night, and we picked up some extremely delicious pizza from Headies Pizza & Pour which was an approximate 2 minute drive from our Airbnb (the whole town is TINY in the best way).

We didn’t totally know what to expect out our windows since we arrived after dark (though I knew from the listing that it was pretty), so it’s an understatement to say we were blown away when we woke up to all of THIS:

It was truly a magical, divine, cinematic, kid-on-Christmas-morning experience staying in Trinidad. We spent a lot of our time just drinking in the view, but we also did a little bit of light hiking (Grace famously hates hiking) and exploring in the area.

The house itself was stunning, too.

I have such happy memories of going to the little grocery store in town, getting some local seafood and delicious fresh veggies, and hanging out at the house for happy hour and cooking dinner. Heaven!

We both love an Old Fashioned on occasions like this.

I’m holding myself back from posting about a dozen more pictures of Trinidad, because it is hands-down one of the most beautiful places we’ve ever been. But onward!

Days 4-7: Trinidad to Lakeside, Oregon

As you can imagine, we really did not want to leave Trinidad, but we were also excited to visit Oregon. On the drive between Northern California and Southern Oregon, we stopped and saw some super pretty sights just on the side of the road. Including a giant redwood tree that you can drive through! A picture of us driving through it was actually our Christmas card this year.

This is the Tour-Thru Tree in Klamath, California. It cost $5 (cash only) to drive through, and when we were there, we were the only ones around for miles it seemed like (we put the money through a slot to go in). We set up our self timer and tripod to get a video of us driving through it, and I also took some fun disposable camera pics including this one of Grace.

These are natural land bridges in Brookings, Oregon. Just off the highway. So gorgeous!

This was roughly around Gold Beach, I think, although I don’t actually remember exactly where we were at this point. It was literally the side of the highway, which was so fun to just pull over!

My best friend lives in Oregon, but sadly we didn’t really figure out in advance how we could plan with Covid and everything (plus we weren’t going as far north as where she lives), so I didn’t see her on this trip :( But aside from the pain of being so-close-yet-so-far-away with my bestie, we such an amazing time in Oregon! We stayed for three nights at this Airbnb, which was sooo cozy and homey. And with an incredible view from the deck too!

Such a cute wine + espresso setup at our Airbnb!

This part of the trip was also over Grace’s *actual* 30th birthday (November 12 - little sneaky Scorpio), which is why I planned for us to have 4 days here. It was so nice to be able to really unpack, relax, rest, and enjoy the beautiful Oregon scenery. We honestly spent most of the time just sitting around, reading, and being cozy! That’s exactly what we both want out of a vacation. It really could not have been more restful.

Seemed fitting for a road trip through Oregon :)

Can you tell which photos were taken with a disposable camera? I think they add such a fun, nostalgic feel to our trip memories.

Celebrating Grace’s birthday!

We also got the BEST local oysters at Clausen Oysters, which was about 20 minutes from our Airbnb. There was a cute picnic area to sit outside, and we were the only people there.

Days 7-8: Lakeside to the Hummingbird Estate outside Ashland, Oregon

Once again, we were sad to leave such a wonderful destination, but on day 7 of the trip it was time to move on to a night of wine tasting at the Hummingbird Estate in south-central Oregon.

The Hummingbird Estate is a winery with a small bed & breakfast (7 rooms total) on site. We stayed in the Japanese Maple room, named for the stunning red-orange leaves right outside our windows!

We were just at the Hummingbird Estate for one night, but we got a chance to try out a bunch of their wines, and I seriously loved every single one!

It was the perfect, cozy, storybook vibes kind of place to enjoy some red wine and a good night’s sleep.

Days 8-9: Southern Oregon to San Francisco, California

Our last destination of the trip was San Francisco, California. The end of a good trip can be a little bit sad, so I wanted to counteract that by booking a really fun, splurge hotel. We stayed at the newly-opened Four Seasons at the Embarcadero in a Golden Gate view suite. It was truly fabulous! And the hotel’s Covid protocols were top-notch (temperature checks, welcome bags filled with masks, sanitizer, wipes, etc., completely contactless check in and room service).

Does it get any better than this?!

We spent our last night just enjoying the view, ordering delicious room service, and watching a movie. I lived in the Bay Area for years, so we have gotten to do all the fun San Francisco touristy things in the past and weren’t too sad to miss them on this trip.

The next morning, we got room service again for breakfast and then hit the road before it got too late (since we had about a 6 hour drive ahead of us).

After 9 days away, we were so happy to get home and see our dogs again! We got In-n-Out for our last meal of the trip and made it home safe and sound. We did quarantine for two weeks after we returned, though thankfully we had very minimal contact with anyone on the trip and felt super safe.

And that’s all! Hope you enjoyed this (long overdue) recap. I feel so lucky that we were able to visit these beautiful places, and I really hope to return to all of them eventually (especially Trinidad)!

Favorite Podcasts in Quarantine

I’m back with another podcast recommendation roundup post!

I first shared a few favorite podcasts in 2018, then I posted a 2019 update, and most recently in 2020 I shared my favorite podcasts that aren’t true crime.

One big exciting change since my last podcast post: I started my own podcast!

Grace and I now have a weekly show called Under Our Roof, and it has quickly become one of my favorite hobbies. We’ve been so lucky to cultivate a really supportive listenership and we are so thankful for everyone who has taken the time to check us out! If you’re interested, you can find us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and anywhere else you listen to podcasts.

Anyway, self-plug aside, I wanted to share a few new favorite podcasts that I’ve been listening to in quarantine. I don’t repeat my past recommendations in this list, so if you want even more, go check out the previous posts that I linked above.

These are in no particular order:

Home Cooking

This podcast is all about the unique challenges of being stuck inside for quarantine and experimenting with - as the name suggests - home cooking! The hosts are Samin Nosrat (chef, author of the book Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat) and Hrishikesh Hirway, podcaster (Song Exploder, The West Wing Weekly). Their dynamic is so fun, and I learned a TON about cooking while listening to this podcast over the past year. Listeners will write in with questions about the random pantry items they’re trying to use in quarantine and the hosts will suggest incredible ways of using them. I feel like this podcast really elevated my home chef hobby and is just so fun to listen to. I feel like whenever I recommend this podcast to people, they’ve never heard of it, but TRUST me when I say it’s really good. It was named one of the best podcasts in Time, Rolling Stone, Vulture, The Atlantic, Vanity Fair, etc. I don’t think they’re currently making any more episodes, but this would be a fun binge listen for the past ones while you’re stirring up a risotto in the kitchen :)

Even the Rich

This podcast has a bunch of seasons, and I’ve listened to most but not all of them yet. Each one chronicles a different modern dynasty or icon - the British Royals, Beyoncé and Jay-Z, Britney Spears, the Murdoch Family, Paris Hilton, etc. It’s an entertaining listen on a road trip. Grace and I listened to the whole Britney Spears season in a day on our West Coast road trip back in November.

Chameleon: Hollywood Con Queen

I liked this show a lot because it has the mystery and intrigue of true crime, and I guess it technically is true crime (crimes of fraud), but without the scary gruesome factor. The podcast covers a really bizarre scam that has been going on in Hollywood for the past several years. I don’t want to give anything away by saying more, but it’s such a fascinating story! I highly recommend this one.

Pants

Okay, a little backstory for this: I am unashamed to say that I was OBSESSED with the TV show the L Word in high school. It was recently rebooted, but I’m talking about the old seasons that started airing in 2004 (that was actually while I was still in middle school, but I discovered the show a couple years later in high school). Those early seasons do feel somewhat dated now, but in terms of queer representation, it was huge at the time. Anyway, two of the actors from the show are best friends in real life and they have a podcast that is super fun. They sometimes reflect on the heyday of the show and it’s just a good conversational podcast. I don’t know if it would appeal to someone who hasn’t seen the L Word, although it is not a recap podcast specifically about the show. Maybe a little niche, but I love it!

Scientology: Fair Game

I am fascinated by different religions and cults. I think that’s especially because I myself grew up in a religious tradition that I now question through a pretty critical lens (even though I am still religious - I just think a lot of the specific things I experienced and was told in church growing up were wrong). That’s probably why I really enjoy hearing about deconstructions of other religions, and this podcast about scientology delivers on that. Leah Remini and Mike Rinder are both ex-scientologists and in this podcast they explore the phenomenon called “Fair Game,” which they say was a policy of scientology to discredit its enemies. There are a lot of really wild stories about it and it’s a gripping listen. I do kind of wish there was more of a structure to the episodes, but overall I really like this podcast.

Do No Harm

This is an investigative podcast centering on two child protective services interventions that “got it wrong.” The short version is that a couple of different families in Texas had accidental injuries with their babies (and it’s pretty much unquestioned now that they were in fact accidents - not abuse), but the State took the kids away because of concerns of abuse. The podcast follows the story of the families working to regain custody of their children. I always enjoy podcasts that highlight problems with bureaucratic systems, and this one is exactly that. I don’t have children yet, but I imagine this might be especially hard to listen to if you do.

Guru

Kind of in line with what I wrote above about being interested in cults, this podcast tells the story of a quasi-cult that went very wrong. The focus is a superstar self-help “guru” who ended up not being quite what he claimed to be. More broadly, it explores the psychological effect that a person like that can have on vulnerable people. Super interesting, especially in the time we’re living in now, where we can see how dangerous a “cult of personality” can be.

Sha Rants A Lot

I also have to give a shout-out to my neighbor, Sha, who recently started her own podcast! If you follow me on Instagram, you might have seen me post about Bean’s best friend, a little white chihuahua named Tonks. Tonks’s mom is the host of this podcast, and it truly feels like having a glass of wine and catching up with a friend. If you like our podcast, Under Our Roof, I think you’ll also love Sha’s.

If you have other recent podcast favorites, please let me know! I always love to discover new ones.