Grace Appreciation Post

Friends, since this is my little corner of the internet, allow me to get real sappy for one post. Lately, I’ve been feeling so proud of and grateful for Grace, and in the 2+ years I’ve been blogging, I haven’t ever written a post just bragging on her a bit.

Grace is the most multi-talented person I know. I am biased, but I love her music so much and am so proud of how she’s pushed herself to make more of it in the past couple of years! When we met in college, mutual friends of ours would occasionally convince Grace to play us covers of songs on her guitar late at night at college parties. But it wasn’t until a few years later that she really poured more of herself into music, and I’ve loved getting to see that. Some favorites:

• Her newest demo, “Drifting,” which is honestly one of my fav songs of hers ever!

• My song :)

• Red Rover, that I got to be in the music video for wayyyy back before we were even engaged

• The lyrics to Grace’s song “When I Go” from her album Six Feet Under All the Same are probably my favorite that she’s written

And lots more. But moving on—I am SO incredibly proud of the content Grace and our best friend Tina are making for Refinery29 in the web series State of Grace. The first episode (on identifying as queer and Christian) is linked here, the second episode (on sex ed in abortion-ban states) is linked here, and the latest episode was released today! It explores faith and commercialism in the context of Los Angeles megachurches. This series is so well done (I can say that because I’ve had absolutely no part in it, haha) and is touching lives, which is the coolest thing.

I’m not one to hype up online like “big things are coming”—so that’s not what I’m doing here—but I WILL say that Grace always has a million ideas and irons in the fire, and I’m so excited for all that is to come.

Recently, I got sick (only a little virus) for the first time since getting married, and Grace was so sweet in taking care of me. That’s what gave me the idea to write this post about her. Grace has such a heart for serving others, no questions asked, and it’s the best quality I can think of in a person. She is the first person to offer you a ride home, a shoulder to cry on, or promote your new creative project to the world. She is too humble sometimes so I’m here to ramble about how great she is! Chances are, if you found my blog, you probably found it through Grace and already know all of this. But if not, check out her music and/or documentary work. I’m so proud!!

Thanks for reading :)

Lessons from Dad

Happy (almost) Father’s Day! My dad isn’t much of a recreational internet user, but if he reads this post because my mom tells him to, hi dad!

This year, my birthday is the day after Father’s Day, which is exactly how it was the day I was born! I was supposed to be born the day before Father’s Day, but I was born the day after, so my dad had to wait a whole year to “officially” have his first Father’s Day (since I was his first child). Sometimes through the years my birthday falls on Father’s Day itself too, and I like to think this among many things contributes to the special relationship I have with my dad. This time of the year is always a happy one, with my dad’s birthday and the Fourth of July falling just a day apart a few weeks later. Summers were always the best times growing up. Lots of holidays, birthdays, and time spent at our favorite place on earth.

I know Father’s Day is also a bittersweet time for a lot of people, and in my family (now including Grace’s side), we have lost a lot of our fathers or father-figures. So we remember them this weekend too. It’s also kind of strange to think that Father’s Day won’t be “typical” for my future children, if I am lucky enough to have them, but I know their lives will be filled with the best father-figures AND two amazing grand-dads.

So in that spirit, I wanted to share some of the best fatherly wisdom I have gotten from my dad through the years, and that I know as a grandfather he will teach too. I was about to type “fatherly advice,” but I don’t really feel like my dad doles out advice from an armchair the way I imagine dads in movies do. Instead, he has taught me so much by the way he just lives his life. I think he teaches by example rather than by lecture, which I personally think is the best way to learn! Here goes:

1. Be prepared. Yes, this is the Boy Scout motto, and yes my dad is proudly an Eagle Scout (both Grace’s and my brothers are Eagle Scouts too!). One of the “legends and lore” of my dad is that when he was a little kid, he packed one glove on a family trip—just one—in case he “needed to pick up a turtle.” While I think my dad would NOT advocate for overpacking, he does advocate for thinking things through and being prepared for every situation, to the extent possible. I think most who know me would agree I tend to be this way as well, and my dad was a major influence in this way of thinking (which I believe has gotten me pretty far in life!).

2. “Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise”. This is definitely among my dad’s favorite sayings, and it’s just true (though I’d change it to “makes a person healthy, wealthy, and wise” :)). My dad is the hardest worker I know, and although a LOT goes into that, waking up early and going to bed early always sets you on course for a productive and meaningful day. I don’t always do this, but I know my dad is right about it so I try to!

3. Home cooking is the best food there is. Growing up, my dad always preferred my mom’s cooking to restaurant food. And my mom’s cooking is very very good. But more than just that, it’s a recognition that our bodies and minds will feel best when we make our own food from scratch. I love Trader Joe’s frozen mac and cheese more than I care to say, but the older Grace and I get, the more we do really just crave home cooked food above anything else. Being on the road a lot this spring reinforced that even more, and I got so sick of eating at restaurants.

4. Save as much money as possible. This is one where I don’t really remember my dad telling this to me, but it is so evident in the way he lives, and the life he has been able to give our family. Becoming an adult has crystallized this for me more than ever, and I can only hope to be as good at saving money as my dad! But I’m on the right path knowing the deep and inherent value in saving from a young age because of him.

5. My dad has made the same New Year’s resolution every single year: grow in his faith. In a world where goals and resolutions (including mine!) tend to be about reaching career milestones, looking a certain way, or “achieving” something tangible, my dad has kept it real with the same goal (and the only goal that really matters) year after year. It inspires me so much!

Thanks for these lessons, dad! Love you. I’d love to hear what others have learned from their fathers or father-figures!

Birthday Wish List (Gift Ideas for Friends, Girlfriends, Wives, Etc.!)

Recently Grace asked me what I wanted as a birthday gift for my birthday coming up next month, and I was stumped! For Christmas this past year, I made an old-fashioned Christmas list for Grace, and she asked me to make something like that again for my birthday. I ended up finding some SUPER cute things, so I decided to share the love and make my birthday wish list a blog post so others can get ideas. For June and July babies, or a just-because gift, I hope these inspire you:

I have been dreaming about these PJs (pictured above) ever since I saw them. I love that you can add a monogram - EHB for me! The pink and red is so cute.

Speaking of cozy, everyone has been saying I need to read Where the Crawdads Sing! I would love to settle into a new book this summer.

Also high on my list: a new pair of sunnies for our big summer trip in August/September. I love these, these, and these. Tortoise shell in classic shapes is always my go-to.

Another summer accessory I’ve been admiring: hair scarves! This set of two is so pretty.

Image via Anthropologie.

I have been thinking about treating myself to a new blush (mine is in crumbles, but I’m making it last for now), and this one looks so summery and sweet!

Diptyque’s candles have to be my favorite ever, although they are a splurge. I’d add the Roses and Tuberose scents to my wish list.

Image via Diptyque.

I don’t wear a ton of jewelry, but I actually love fun pieces. Lately I’ve been admiring this cool crescent moon necklace, and also this cool moon and star necklace.

Image via Sequin Jewelry.

Last but not at all least, I have been in such a mood of adding plants to our house, so a plant as a birthday gift would be a dream! This monstera plant has my name written all over it.

Image via The Sill.

I hope this gives you some ideas for gifts for your loved ones! Or, if you’re Grace Baldridge, for me!!

Best Podcasts for Road Trips 2019

Almost exactly a year ago, I wrote this blog post about my favorite podcasts for road trips. I feel like the podcast universe has exploded even exponentially MORE since then, and there are so many great ones that are either new in 2019 or new to me! So I decided it was high time for an updated list.

I’m not listing these in any particular order, but here are some of my favorites lately! Also, if you haven’t read my original post, be sure to check it out because there are some gems that I don’t repeat here.

And as one caveat, this list is kind of true crime-heavy, but I would say true crime in and of itself is not really my favorite podcast genre. I tend to really enjoy true crime podcasts that explore some interesting aspect of society, science, or new technology in connection with true crime (for example, the Bear Brook podcast I talk about below). I don’t think every single one of these podcasts will interest everyone, but overall these are super bingeable, well-done podcasts that I highly recommend. I listen to a lot of podcasts, and the majority of the ones I’ve listened to didn’t make the cut for this list! So you know they’re good :)

Bear Brook - skeletal remains of four people (one woman and three young girls under 10) are found in barrels in Bear Brook state park in New Hampshire.  No one knows who they are and there were never any missing persons reports matching their descriptions.  Using genetic genealogy, researchers who normally help adoptees find their birth parents are able to track down the killer and some information about the victims. In the process they discover a whole web of crimes stretching across the country. This genetic genealogy process is later used to find the Golden State killer. Best for: anyone who loves a good story. The gruesome/spooky factor is actually not as high as it sounds from the description—I listened to this podcast while going on runs by myself and wasn’t freaked out. It’s told by the New Hampshire Public Radio in a very scientific, straightforward storytelling way.

Uncover: Escaping NXIVM - podcast about the cult NXIVM that was recently disbanded (or at least some arrests were made). Lots of people, including semi-famous actresses, got sucked into it and it's fascinating hearing about how that happened.  Best for: anyone with a curiosity about NXIVM. You’ll learn everything you could ever want to know about it and more. Even if you haven’t heard of NXIVM, I think you would find it fascinating. Bonus: Uncover also has two more seasons, about totally different topics. Season 2 is titled Bomb on Board and Season 3 is titled The Village. Both are really good, I think Season 2 is slightly better than 3. But Season 3 is still currently being released as I’m writing this, so I’ll keep an open mind.

Cultivate Your Life - this is probably the most inspiring podcast I have ever listened to. If you’re interested in goal setting and living an intentional life, I could not recommend this podcast more. I look forward to it every week. Best for: it’s definitely geared toward women and anyone interested in a Christian perspective on setting goals.

In the Dark - really good podcast about understanding how wrongful convictions happen (about the death of Jacob Wetterling who was abducted and killed as a kid). Journalistically, I think this is one of the best podcasts out there. That said, the gruesome and scary factor for this one was high for me. It involves a child, and sexual abuse, and is just really disturbing. So please keep that in mind; for some people it might be better for you to not listen to that kind of podcast. Best for: true crime junkies who also love hearing about how the legal system works and factors into cases.

Broken Harts - podcast about a family of 8 (the Harts) that drove over a cliff, killing all of them.  At first believed to be an accident, but now believed to be intentional.  All 6 of the kids were adopted and it explores how a family with documented child abuse was able to adopt so many children, also has themes of understanding interracial adoption. This one was riveting. Best for: anyone with a particular curiosity about this case, or if you just want a very bingeable podcast for a long car ride. I’d never heard of the case before finding the podcast and I could not stop listening to it.

What We Said - this podcast is two best friends talking about anything and everything. I normally don’t love this style of podcast, but this one is just cute, fun, and lighthearted to listen to while driving or cleaning the house. I look forward to this one every Tuesday when it comes out. Best for: women (and girls) ages high school through twenties. Being 27 I feel like I’m almost too old for it, but nonetheless I love the fluff and fun “girl talk” aspect of it. The hosts are around 24 or so.

The Dream - podcast about multilevel marketing (companies like Amway, Mary Kay, etc) and how they are scams and how people fall for it. This might sound less scandalous than some of these other ones, but it is just as riveting if not more. Best for: anyone interested in learning more about a very murky but huge industry.

The Dropout - this podcast is about Elizabeth Holmes and the crazy Theranos scandal. I listened to it before the HBO documentary came out and it made the documentary a lot more interesting, I think. If you are fascinated by this scandal (or even have never heard of it), this podcast is sooo good. Best for: anyone interested in the Theranos scandal, pathological lying, or anyone who wants a bingeable podcast without any gruesome crime details.

Dr. Death - a doctor who got away with using possibly sadistic (or at least grossly incompetent) surgical techniques; the podcast also explores the way the medical profession is set up to allow this kind of thing to continue happening. Best for: anyone interested in the medical profession and medical ethics; probably bad for anyone who has to have surgery anytime soon because it’s SCARY!

Believed - podcast exploring how Larry Nassar (the Olympic coach) got away with his abuse for so long. Hard to listen to but I always wondered how no one stopped him sooner; this explores the psychology behind it and how the universities and Olympic associations failed. Best for: anyone interested in the Larry Nassar case and/or anyone wanting a bingeable podcast that also has some really inspiring and uplifting moments about survivors’ courage. Probably best not to listen if it would be difficult for you to hear some graphic descriptions of abuse.

The Habitat - I just recently started this one and have almost listened to 7 episodes in 2 days! This is about a recent experiment where NASA put 6 people in a space-like “habitat” for a whole year, in total isolation. The purpose of the experiment was to see how people would cope, because if there is ever a mission to Mars with humans, they will have to be cooped up together in a habitat on the red planet for at least that long. The participants in the experiment had tape recorders and recorded interviews about their time in the habitat. It’s so interesting! Best for: anyone interested in space exploration (the podcast producers also talk with people who have actually been to space), or anyone who has heard about this experiment and wants to know more. I actually wouldn’t necessarily consider myself in either of those camps, but I still loved it!

Who the Hell is Hamish? - this is another one I just recently listened to. I actually went back to edit this post after I had already drafted it and scheduled it to go up to add this one. I personally am fascinated by white collar crime and how people scheme and get away with so much. This podcast is about a guy named Hamish (yes… that’s his first name haha) and his fraud and crimes. Parts are sad, parts are funny, and it’s so intriguing. I flew through it. Also, if you like the sound of Australian accents, this podcast is full of them because it takes place mostly in AUS and is produced by the newspaper The Australian.

I hope this list is helpful to you—happy listening!

My out-the-window pics at the top and bottom of this post are from our 2017 road trip from California to Alaska.

What are some of your favorite podcasts not included on this list?

My Morning Routine

Depending on how closely you follow this blog/my Instagram, you might have noticed that in the past six months I’ve started working primarily from home. I still go into the office once or twice a week, which I appreciate the ability to do, but my job allows me to work remotely and I truly believe ALL aspects of my life are so much better for it. I have been thinking about doing an updated version of my day in the life post from last year to show what an average day is like working from home, but in the meantime, here’s a glimpse of what my morning routine looks like!

Is it just me, or is 2019 the year of really caring about morning/evening routines? I have read a few other blog posts about morning routines and how important it is to have a set rhythm and I find them fascinating.

I have finally gotten into a consistent routine and to a place in my life where I can appreciate taking mornings slowly rather than rushing to get to work. The other day, I decided to boil it down to a science and make a list in my phone of the basic steps:

(WFH stands for work from home, if you were wondering. I have a slightly different routine on days I go into the office).

One of my April goals was to actually wake up with my first alarm instead of hitting snooze a few times. That said, I often don’t set an alarm! I know that might sound totally crazy to people. But I probably only set an alarm 2 or 3 days a week, when I really need to make sure I wake up at a specific time. The reason? The dogs will make sure I’m awake at a certain point anyway :) Between the two of them there is literally no way I will sleep past 7:30 or so. And most days I naturally wake up before that. On the rare occasion I need to wake up at 6am or something, I’ll set an alarm.

The first thing I do when I get up in the morning is take care of Bean. Usually Bean and I get up first, and Grace and Willie sleep in a little later. But actually on this particular morning, Grace and Willie wanted to wake up with us so we all went on a walk together.

But first, I put on dog-walking clothes (aka sweats) and mix Bean’s food. Bean’s food is raw dehydrated dog food so I mix it with warm water and let it sit while we’re on our morning walk.

I love how bright it is in the morning at this time of year. It definitely makes our a.m. dog walks nicer!

After our walk (we only do about a 10-15 minute walk in the mornings), I come back in and feed Bean his re-hydrated food. He LOVES it! Willie gets fed too of course, but normally Grace handles that so it’s not really part of “my” morning routine.

Then I go around and turn on everything I need in the mornings. I press start on the coffee maker (I grind the beans and set up the water and everything the night before).

And I also turn on my essential oil diffuser to diffuse for three hours. Lately I have been adding drops of lavender and grapefruit essential oils for the morning, and then sometimes at night I’ll diffuse just lavender.

I also usually start a load of laundry in the morning. Here’ s a little homemaker-y tip for you: do laundry every day or every other day! This has been AMAZING for me once I realized how great it is. We have one of those washing machines that automatically senses how much water to use, so it might not be the most eco-friendly choice if your washer doesn’t do that, but it’s life changing in terms of household management. With two people and two dogs, we definitely have enough laundry every 2 days to do a small load, and it just makes it so I’m never stressed out doing 4 loads of laundry on a Sunday night. I start the laundry machine in the morning, change over to the dryer when I get up to refill my water or get a second cup of coffee, and fold the laundry at lunch. It’s so easy and is the best!!

Next up: freshening up and getting ready for the day. Here’s a fun fact about me, I only use coconut oil to “wash” my face. In the past six months I’ve only let soap or any kind of face wash touch my face maybe 5-6 times total.

And my skin in sooo happy about it! My skin is far from perfect, but this is an amazing solution for me right now. First I splash my face with warm water. Then I take a wash cloth soaked in hot water, squeeze the water out, and smooth a small amount (maybe 1/2 a tablespoon) of coconut oil all over my face. Then I take the hot washcloth and slightly exfoliate/steam my face with it. I do this at night too, coconut oil is the best makeup remover! Kind of like not setting an alarm, this might seem very crazy to some people. But I love it :)

After my coconut oil routine (and brushing my teeth), I put on makeup. Putting on makeup is one of those things that makes me feel productive and polished even though I’m working from home. On days I skip it, I just don’t feel as fresh. Here’s a pic of me with half my face with makeup (the left half below), and the other half none (the right half below), to give you an idea. It’s pretty basic/simple for days I’m working from home.

Also, how cute is my little necklace? My best friend Tina gave it to me right before my wedding. It has our wedding date in roman numerals, I love it so much.

Another important thing to me when I work from home: I HAVE to put on actual clothes. I still keep it comfy, and way more casual than if I were going into the office, but it cannot be PJs or I’ll feel sluggish all day. On this day, I opted for a soft comfy striped dress with a thin black pullover on top.

After I’m dressed I make some breakfast and drink coffee. A year ago, I would have thought that was so strange-I was not a coffee drinker at all. But it’s such a love language for Grace that I’ve gotten into it. A game changer for me has been putting butter in my coffee. I think I thought the butter coffee trend was just that-a trend-but I tried it and am totally sold. I like the taste and it helps my body process the coffee 100% better. I don’t get jittery. The extra fat is a good thing in the morning! (If you have no idea what I’m talking about, there are a bunch of articles about the benefits of putting butter in coffee, like this one).

I just put a little pat of butter in the bottom of my coffee cup and then pour the hot coffee over it so it melts.

I also usually have some Greek yogurt and toast in the morning.

Sidenote - I’ve always loved the little vintage-y painted fruit tiles in our kitchen and it just really sunk in that some of them are lemons (like in the pic above) which is so perfect for our little house! You can read all about my love for my lemon tree here.

This is the best part of my morning routine-sitting, eating breakfast and drinking butter coffee, and getting kisses from Willie (who really wants a piece of the bread). See the picture at the top of this post, haha.

I also have some quiet time reading and journaling before really starting my day.

At this point I feel ready to take on the day! I head into my little home office where my office dog (Bean) is waiting for me. Grace and I joke that he “clocks in” to work because he’s always waiting for me under my desk and it’s the cutest, most loyal thing. I love little Beanie so much!

Do you have a set morning routine?

My Three-Month Spending Challenge

As I shared in my 2019 goals, I decided to start off the year by challenging myself to make ZERO purchases other than food and essentials for three months. I considered essentials to be just replacing everyday items if they ran out. For example, I wasn’t going to stop washing my hair because I ran out of shampoo and was doing a spending challenge. Same with household products. But I wanted to add nothing new to any shopping carts. So even though I usually wear makeup, purchasing new makeup beyond just replacing my staple items if they ran out would be against the rules of the spending challenge. It’s a little bit flexible in terms of the rules and definitions, but it made sense to me.

Let me tell you one thing that surprised me: the three month spending challenge (January 1-March 31) FLEW by! I thought I would be painstakingly counting the days until I could go to the Target home section, but it was such a good discipline for my heart because I realized how much I really didn’t miss buying stuff. That was even true for clothing. I have officially not purchased any clothes since 2018, and I even perused the spring clothing collection at Target with Grace the other day and had very little desire to buy anything.

The other thing that surprised me: how much this spending challenge and consciousness regarding buying things changed my overall financial perspective. These first three months of 2019 have radically changed Grace and me in terms of finances. I will be honest and tell you that we did not keep a budget whatsoever for the first 5 months of marriage. Thankfully it was fine, but as we dream and talk about our lives as a married couple we realized how much we are going to need to intentionally save to be able to do the things we want! There were definitely tears shed in the early discussions about budgeting, and we’ve had to sacrifice and make tough decisions. But we’ve also been able to joyfully say YES to a big trip this summer because we know how we’re going to afford it, and we’re so excited about the dreams we’re building towards by being disciplined in this area.

The spending challenge has helped me turn my perspective around from focusing on the sacrifice of saying “no” to something I want, to focusing on the joy of saying “yes” to things I want WAY more in the big picture.

So it’s now April and my spending challenge is technically done! So far in the first couple weeks, I’ve only bought a new mascara and some small home improvement items for our house. I’m happy to say that doing this challenge has really reduced my desire to online shop or just want a quick fix of retail therapy. I initially thought about what it would look like if I kept the challenge going the whole year, but I think I’m going to ease up for the spring/summer and then maybe end the year with another three months of it.

A couple tips if you are interested in doing this (I highly recommend it)!

• When you get a desire to buy something specific (like “oh I NEED a new houseplant for that windowsill” or whatever), write it in a note on your phone. I kept a note of things I wanted but was saying “no” to for now, so I wouldn’t forget to grab them if I really still wanted them at the end of the challenge. On my note are a grout pen to touch up our grout on the tile floors (exciting stuff huh!), this book so many people have recommended, this beauty product a blogger I like recommended, and these monogrammed PJs. I might pull the trigger on the grout pen because it’s only like $11 but everything else can wait or maybe go on my birthday wish list!

• On that note, I think easing back into buying stuff after your spending challenge is done is really helpful. I personally would feel kind of bummed if I just went out and bought tons of stuff to make up for lost time. So far I’ve just bought things that I know are useful and I’d been consciously waiting to purchase, and I feel good about it!

• But before your spending challenge, I say go all out and have one last spending hurrah if you feel like it. Leading up to the start of my spending challenge was the holiday season followed by our decadent trip to New Orleans, and so by January 1 I actually felt pretty ready to take a breather from buying stuff. I think it helps to know that you can grab that one thing you “need” right before starting the challenge.

If anyone has done a challenge like this or wants to try it, I would love to hear from you and connect!

My Winter Bucket List

This post might seem seasonally out of place (it’s April! Flowers are blooming!), but here I am with my Winter Bucket List recap. This first year of being married, I started a tradition of seasonal bucket lists, inspired by the blog A Beautiful Mess. Back in November, I shared all of the progress on my Autumn Bucket List, which helped me have my favorite Fall of my whole life! The Winter Bucket List was no different—I am not a winter-loving gal, but the intentional celebration that a bucket list helps with made me savor the season like never before.

Even though I’m a bit late posting my recap, I’m writing this post for myself and posterity if nothing else. Next winter, I absolutely plan on doing another bucket list, and I want to remember some of my favorite seasonal things from this first one!

You can see the items above that were on my list—if it’s highlighted in blue, that means Grace and I crossed it off! There were a few I didn’t get to (honestly there is no excuse for not making crock pot hot chocolate-I just somehow forgot!), and the squiggly lines means I somewhat completed it. Here are some of my favorite memories from the items on the list!

Decorating our house for Christmas for the first time was SO fun. Looking back through photos made me feel sooo nostalgic. Our house has never felt cozier. I posted a Christmas decorations house tour here.

We also mailed out our first ever Christmas cards (a tradition I had always looked forward to for my first married Christmas!). I loved how they turned out and plan on doing something similar in years to come.

Matching PJs (which, as it turns out, Bean loved climbing into like a baby kangaroo) were a highlight of the season too.

Also Christmas-related on the bucket list: attending Christmas Eve service at our church, St. Aidan’s. It was the sweetest night. I’ve never attended a midnight candlelit Christmas Eve service before, and even though I was super sleepy, it was magical to be huddled in the sanctuary at midnight as Christmas Eve turned to Christmas Day.

This picture was actually taken at our church a couple days before Christmas :)

Lots of good food and drinks on the bucket list! We made Christmas cookies using the same recipe my family has used my whole life, baked homemade Chex Mix (anyone else with me that this is totally a Christmas thing?! Grace had never heard of it being specific to Christmas), and made mulled wine. I think I need to work on my mulled wine recipe a bit. But it was good!

Although my list was very Christmas-focused, there were a few post-Christmas things too! Of course, one of the highlights of both 2018 AND 2019 was ringing in New Year’s Eve in New Orleans at the wedding of two of our dear friends. You can read a recap of that trip here.

In January, we drove to find snow in Southern California and ended up having the CUTEST snow day in Wrightwood! We brought Willie and it was his first time seeing snow (that we know of). So special! I wrote a recap of that day here. We’ll definitely be making Wrightwood snow days a tradition in our house.

Last but definitely not least, in February we hosted the First Annual Nicole Kidman Appreciation Film Festival! Yes, you read right. This was Grace’s idea as she is a huge Nicole Kidman fan, and we had SO much fun bringing our friends together for a weekend of Nicole Kidman film screenings at our house. We rented a big projector, fired up the popcorn machine we got as a wedding present, and were just generally very over the top about it.

It was a great Winter! Two things that weren’t on the bucket list, but should have been:

First, I cut off half my hair. It’s funny because even now in April, I’ll see people who are like wait - did you get a haircut? YEP, I chopped my hair length in half in December and it’s been great! I love long hair so I’m growing it out again but cutting off a ton of it just made it feel so healthy.

Second, I made my very first Buche de Noel and I was so proud of how it turned out! I spent almost all day on Christmas Eve making it, and it was so fun. It gave me a lot of confidence to try complicated baking projects in the future.

I loved this wintry trip down memory lane! I made a Spring bucket list last month (and posted it on my Instagram stories—if you look you can find it in my “favorite things” highlight) so we are slowly working through that!

Have you ever made a seasonal bucket list?

Why I Changed My Last Name

In the seven months since I became a Baldridge, I’ve gotten a lot of questions about that decision! Not about my decision to marry Grace—I think most people who know me know that’s been my dream since I met her—but to take her last name in place of mine. I think this is an interesting, layered question, as is my answer to it. So today I want to share a little bit more about my heart on this topic.

I’ll start by saying that growing up, I always imagined I would change my last name. I grew up in a place where it was extremely common for women to change their last name after getting married, and that’s what my mom and grandmothers had all done. That said, I also grew up with friends, family, and role models who got married but did not change their names, so I’ve always seen that as a valid, great decision too. But I was predisposed to changing my last name from the start.

To me, a person taking their spouse’s last name in place of theirs is all about two families becoming one, a brand new start of “who you are” as your identity takes on the component of being 1/2 of a married couple, and honoring tradition. That’s why I’ve always been surprised at how often I get questions about why I still changed my last name even though I married a woman. Don’t the reasons why most people change their names still apply just the same in my situation?

I know there is (understandably) some backlash to the idea of changing one’s last name at all. But I would like to challenge that—to me, if it is an intentional, thought-through decision, I believe it can be beautiful, an act of selflessness, and even feminist to change your last name after getting married. And of course, anyone can make this kind of intentional choice to change their last name, not just ladies.

I LOVE having the same last name as Grace. Absolutely love it. I’m so proud of the fact that our little family is the Baldridges. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Another question I get a lot is - “Why didn’t Grace change her last name to yours? Or why didn’t you hyphenate?” The truth is, we didn’t really talk about those options, which I think just means neither of them felt like a natural choice to us. I think focusing on this kind of misses the point. Of course hyphenating is awesome for those who choose it. But I never felt like I needed to know that Grace would change her name for me, too, because now that we’re married that just isn’t something we keep score over. Grace serves me and sacrifices for me in a million ways. This “sacrifice” of changing my last name (which I was actually very excited to do) doesn’t really have an equal (unless you hyphenate and both change your name), and that’s okay. That’s what (I’m learning) being married is all about!

Want to know what the way harder decision was? What to do with my middle name! I knew I didn’t want to have 4 names (I like odd numbers and just didn’t want to have that many names), so it was either drop my maiden name entirely, or drop my middle name and take my maiden name as a new middle. I ultimately decided to drop my maiden name entirely and keep my middle name (Holland). My middle is my grandmother’s maiden name, and it’s very special to me (as is my relationship with her). I also love that Grace and I both have our maternal grandmothers’ maiden names as our middle names (Grace’s middle name is Semler). I felt like if I dropped Holland, it would vanish, never to be spoken again. Why would it? No one ever asks what your middle name before you got married was, if you took your maiden as a new middle. Whereas my maiden name will always be my maiden name, and basically everyone I’ve known in my life up until that point knows me with that last name. And of course, my whole immediate family still has that last name. But I’m the only one in my immediate family (or in my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, etc.) who has my particular middle name. I also liked the sound of Elizabeth Holland Baldridge better than Elizabeth Capel Baldridge.

At the end of the day, these choices are so very personal and as long as you are making the decision intentionally, with respect for your new spouse and your parents/other family, I don’t think you can go wrong. I just wanted to share a little bit of my “why” in making the decision I did. Also, if the complication of changing your name is a mental hindrance, don’t let it be! As of 6 months out, I had changed everything from my driver’s license to social security card to credit cards to passport to business cards. And with very little headaches along the way. It’s surprisingly easy. Now that it’s done, booking hotels or making dinner reservations under my new name feels like a dream come true.

If you are wrestling with the decision, I encourage you to go with your gut. Getting advice from others is helpful to a point, but it’s hard when you get conflicting opinions (I know I did). It’s your NAME, so make sure you can own it with pride :)

Did you change your name after getting married? What about your middle?

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas and thank you so much for reading Have Dog, Will Drive this year! This is a pre-scheduled post that I wrote because if you’re reading this on Christmas (or any day, really), I want to share a Christmas poem with you that I have loved for years. It’s almost a hundred years old but still perfect today in 2018.

Keeping Christmas

There is a better thing than the observance of Christmas day, and that is, keeping Christmas.

Are you willing...

to forget what you have done for other people, and to remember what other people have done for you;

to ignore what the world owes you, and to think what you owe the world;

to put your rights in the background, and your duties in the middle distance, and your chances to do a little more than your duty in the foreground;

to see that men and women are just as real as you are, and try to look behind their faces to their hearts, hungry for joy;

to own up to the fact that probably the only good reason for your existence is not what you are going to get out of life, but what you are going to give to life;

to close your book of complaints against the management of the universe, and look around you for a place where you can sow a few seeds of happiness.

Are you willing to do these things even for a day? Then you can keep Christmas.

Are you willing…

to stoop down and consider the needs and desires of little children;

to remember the weakness and loneliness of people growing old;

to stop asking how much your friends love you, and ask yourself whether you love them enough;

to bear in mind the things that other people have to bear in their hearts;

to try to understand what those who live in the same home with you really want, without waiting for them to tell you;

to trim your lamp so that it will give more light and less smoke, and to carry it in front so that your shadow will fall behind you;

to make a grave for your ugly thoughts, and a garden for your kindly feelings, with the gate open—

Are you willing to do these things, even for a day? Then you can keep Christmas.

Are you willing...

to believe that love is the strongest thing in the world—

stronger than hate, stronger than evil, stronger than death—

and that the blessed life which began in Bethlehem nineteen hundred years ago is the image and brightness of the Eternal Love?

Then you can keep Christmas.

And if you can keep it for a day, why not always?

But you can never keep it alone.

-Henry Van Dyke

Christmas Decorations House Tour!

Decorating for my first married Christmas is something I’ve looked forward to for a really long time. This year, Grace and I are celebrating Christmas in our own little house (our first time not being with our families). A big part of this is because we’re traveling right after Christmas through the New Year, but also, it’s sweet to start our own traditions as a married couple.

Fun fact: for the past several years I have wanted to wait until I was married to get a Christmas tree (I’m not even really sure why, it just seemed like a romantic idea) so this is my FIRST ever Christmas tree of my own! And I love it so much!

So, welcome to my Christmas home tour!

Getting fresh greenery for Christmas was my favorite thing about decorating. I know artificial trees, garlands, and wreaths are popular, but nothing compares to the smell of the real thing. I love getting a festive pine scent from our wreath every time I walk in and out of our front door.

And here’s our lovely Fraser Fir! We picked a nice round tree and I have loved having it in our house. It still smells amazing and is the perfect size for our still-growing collection of Christmas ornaments. Speaking of which, here are a few of my favorites:

Even though it’s just the two of us, I’m very excited for Christmas morning. Every year up until now, Grace and I have chosen to give each other Christmas gifts of no monetary value (like something we write for each other, or a song from Grace). This year, we decided to do presents for the first time which I am actually so excited for-I hope Grace likes what I got her!

And the stockings were hung by the chimney with care . . .

This is the same stocking I’ve had since I was a baby. Last year, Grace was with my family on Christmas Day, so they had one embroidered for her too. This year, we have them both in our house!

We have a few other little details in the living room:

Our running list of Christmas movies to watch!

This is a fresh garland from the same place where we got our Christmas tree. I took a few small ornaments and threaded them through the strands of pine needles for pops of color.

For this, I took some of the trimmings from the bottom of our tree and just put them in a vase with some gold spray-painted branches! And you can see my chocolate Advent calendar in this shot too :)

This bowl of ornaments has a few leftover fairy light strands from our wedding exit in it! It’s so cozy and festive to me to turn on the lights at night.

I also changed out our usual throw blanket for a red plaid Christmasy blanket (which the dogs oddly LOVE laying on much more than the old one), and added a “Home for the Holidays” throw pillow to our couch!

In the dining room, I changed out our usual table runner for a seasonal one, and placed some more tree trimmings under our centerpiece.

I also got some Christmas Crackers for a Christmas Day feast we are having with a few friends! I think this is more of a British tradition but I love them, so I just had to get some :)

I also added the same type of garland by our TV to our piano!

I dressed up our bar area with some greenery too.

In November on a date night we went to our favorite record store and picked out a few Christmas records. I think the Charlie Brown one in the picture is our favorite, but there are so many good ones! Willie Nelson’s Pretty Paper album is so good too.

As a final touch, I used some leftover decorations to add a little festivity to some of our house plants! They make me smile every time I see them.

And of course I had to put up some mistletoe!

Merry Christmas! xoxo